YMCA’s Take Child Protection Very Seriously

YMCAs take child protection very seriously.  Their extensive policies and attention to safety regarding every program and service make them a leader in “state of the art” child protection policy.  They also know that this alone does not keep children safe in their communities.  They instead recognize the need for leadership at every level to be involved and engaged in protecting children from sexual abuse.  With the health and well being of children and families at the heart of their mission and a long history of tackling tough community issues, Y’s across the country are stepping up to convene leaders and engage the entire community in prevention.

Teaming up to support these local Y efforts, D2L and The Redwoods Group Foundation are providing tools, resources and funding assistance to help YMCAs operationalize wide spread community awareness and education.  Our vision is that Ys, serving as the natural conveners, bring together community leaders, other local child-serving organizations, and policy makers as partners in prevention.  This exciting collaboration is empowering communities with a strategy and a model for creating and sustaining positive change in the protection of children from child sexual abuse.

YMCAs are helping lead a national effort to build community initiatives that increase awareness of the problem of child sexual abuse and bring prevention to the local level.  A key to their success with such initiatives is their ability to bring together the right people and resources to facilitate change in communities nationwide.  Locally, they do this every day generating solutions to challenges facing their communities.

While community prevention initiatives across the country are having an impact, Y’s have the ability to exponentially increase participation in the effort.  Serving over 9 million children and 12 million adults in 10,000 communities they can be the most effective and efficient pathway to reducing child sexual abuse.  In addition, one of the Y’s focus area is social responsibility, and their emphasis on youth development makes them a natural partner to address this issue.  As former Y CEO, Ralph Yohe stated, “Y’s are uniquely position to take a leadership role in prevention as we are often at the heart of a community, we have a long history of tackling community issues, and bottom line, the protection and well being of children is part of our mission.”

Thanks to the impact YMCAs have on kids, families and communities—and the sheer number of communities they serve—this “Y movement” will lead the way in engaging the largest group of citizens yet in child protection!

YMCA Background

In early 2009, The Redwoods Group, a commercial specialty insurance group based in NC and one of the largest insurers for YMCAs, contacted Darkness to Light to explore synergies between the two organizations.  Redwoods felt that they could provide benefit to their clients by adding Stewards of Children prevention curriculum to their training offerings, believing that the empowering and emotional elements of the program would augment the policy and procedure training components that were also necessary.

Kevin Trapani, founder and CEO of Redwoods, had a bigger vision.  The Redwoods Group is a privately‐held, Certified B Corps that takes their responsibility for the safety of children at Y’s across the country very seriously.  Not only that, social responsibility is at the core of everything Redwoods believes so it wasn’t enough to just address child safety within the 4 walls of a Y.

A collaboration begins…In 2010, the social enterprise’s Foundation made a commitment to facilitate community‐based child sexual abuse prevention through YMCA’s.  Over the past three years, the Redwoods Group Foundation has dedicated significant time, energy, and financial capitol to protect children from the trauma of sexual abuse. Collaborating with Darkness to Light, a Stewards of Children “seed fund” was created to assist YMCAs in starting community initiatives.  The Foundation has two staff members working to bring YMCAs together to propel the effort to scale.  Their goal is to help YMCA’s engage community partners in child sexual abuse prevention and intervention.  Ultimately, they hope the effort will be expanded to all YMCAs.

Via d2l

Anny is a Steward’s of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light’s certification programs.  Please contact Anny to bring Prevent Now! community meetings your area and to arrange Steward’s of Children trainings.  You may contact her via email, anny@annyjacoby.com or 919-225-1421.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

What Can We Learn From Penn State?

It’s unfortunate that it takes national headlines to get people talking about a problem that is all too prevalent in our society but we can take advantage of this opportunity to shine the light on the issue of child sexual abuse and recognize that we all have a responsibility to protect children.

• We’ve learned that this issue is not about big universities, celebrity, or the Catholic Church.  It’s not about reputations, or legacies or any one institution.  This issue is about children.
• We’ve learned that we have to step into the reality that there are people in our midst that would rob children of their innocence and they are people we know and trust.  They will go out of their way to appear above reproach and they will infiltrate our families and organizations where they can have easy access to children.
• We’ve learned that it takes tremendous courage for children and adults that have been abused to come forward.  We must support and honor this courage and work together to ensure their story is not handed down to other innocent children.
• We’ve learned that child safety is the job of an adult.  Teaching children how to keep themselves safe from abuse is important, but adults bear the burden of stepping up and speaking out when something doesn’t look or feel right with respect to the wellbeing of a child.  We’ve learned that it may or may not be our legal responsibility as mandated reporters depending on where we live but morally it is the right thing to do.  If you see something or suspect abuse, call the police.
• We’ve learned that the ramifications of not acting responsibly are clear.  More abuse occurs, more children are harmed, fewer children get the help they so deserve.  To be silent bystanders is to be complicit in its occurrance and wake. To intervene is to ensure that a child is treated and supported, that they are healed and better protected from potential lifelong hardships of trauma.
• We’ve learned that child sexual abuse is preventable.  We can learn the facts, we can acknowledge the reality, we can talk to others adults, we can ensure youth serving organizations have comprehensive child protection policy, and we can talk to our children.  Awareness and education is the answer.
• The fight against child abuse cannot be the job of one agency; it has to be a collaborative effort.  It will take all of us to change culture–to one where engaged adults offer no place for a perpetrator to commit their heinous acts and no access to children.
• We can be stuck in the shock and horror of what happened at Penn State staying focused on who knew what and when or we can pledge right now to stay focused on the things we can do today that better protect children.  Let Penn State serve as a wake-up call.  Will we stay vigilant or will we again become complacent when the smoke clears?

Ways to Get Involved

• Learn the 7 Steps to Protecting Our Children
• Find out more about Stewards of Children, a training for adults on how to prevent, recognize, and react responsibly to child sexual abuse.
• Take Stewards of Children onlinenow.
• Join the Movement to end child sexual abuse

Via d2l.org

Anny is a Steward’s of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light’s certification programs.  Please contact Anny to bring Prevent Now! community meetings your area and to arrange Steward’s of Children trainings.  You may contact her via email, anny@annyjacoby.com or 919-225-1421.

Take care and stay safe.

Child Sexual Abuse Community Awareness Meetings Being Planned…

The Darkness to Light’s child sexual abuse program(s) are trainings across the United States.

Have you taken a stance again CSA?  If not, why not?  Call or email me to plan Darkness to Light’s Child Sexual Abuse Community Meetings, Prevent Now! (45 mins) and/or “Stewards of Children”, two-and-a-half training sessions for adults.  Darkness to Lights program seeks “to empower adults through awarness and educational programs to PREVENT, RECOGNIZE AND REACT RESPONSIBLY to childhood sexual abuse. 

“The only public good thing that came out of the horrible Penn State situation is it’s brough major attention to Child Sexual Abuse.”  Take a stance, NOW!

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Sandusky case triggers pain well beyond campus…

As adults, victims suffer nightmares, anger, anxiety from childhood abuse.

By Kari Huus, Reporter msnbc.com

As the Penn State sex abuse scandal unfolds — ghastly detail by detail — on front pages, the airwaves and Twitter accounts, the news can be especially devastating for one group in particular: former victims of sexual abuse.

“Another night of triggers and flashbacks,” writes a forum member on MaleSurvivor.org, a website devoted to healing male victims of sexual abuse. “… I felt him all over me and my arms are scratched as I try to get the feeling of his hands off me. … I think all the (Penn State) news set the triggers off, and now I am like a zombie, trying to recover and move forward today.”

“I never met Jerry Sandusky, but feel I know him all too well,” writes another member of the forum, referring to the university’s former defensive coordinator who stands accused of sexually molesting at least eight young boys. “I dealt with my own ‘Jerry’ when I was 12 or 13. … Now that he is sated and I am long forgotten, I’m still picking up the pieces.”

“This whole thing is devastating me. These boys are lost in the details … just as most of us here were,” the member added.

Psychologists say that any sex abuse victim — man or woman — may find that news of the Penn State case sparks painful memories. But the way this case is unfolding strikes an especially deep chord with men.

“It can be very triggering of either their own memories — they may get flashbacks — or they may get angry again,” said Richard Gartner, a psychologist and psychoanalyst in New York, and spokesman for Malesurvivor.org. Some men may have to limit their news consumption, and maybe avoid watching football to avoid a panic attack or bout of depression, he said.

“It is re-traumatizing for them — more so to the extent that they believe that this is being handled wrong … and ignoring the needs of the victims.”

Different experience for boys
Sexual abuse has a different impact on boys than on girls, and they deal with it differently because of socialization, experts say.

“Men aren’t supposed to be victims. Men are supposed to be strong,” said Jim Hopper, clinical instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. “A man says I’m not a real man, because I let someone do this to me. I should have been tougher. Even after years of therapy they say this.”

Girls who are abused by men are psychologically damaged, to be sure, experts say, but boys abused by men often come to question their sexual identity and orientation.

“If they were sexually abused by a man, there’s this whole stigma — does that mean I’m gay, or did he do it to me because I look gay?” says Hopper.

Another difference: Boys who forced into sexual acts may have an erection — a physiological response which makes them all the more confused and ashamed of the encounter, Gartner says.

The women’s movement helped bring sexual assault of females into the public eye — and led to tougher penalties against attackers, more policy aimed at prevention and better access to care for victims. The focus on sexual abuse of boys came nearly 20 years later, when hundreds of childhood victims went public with stories of abuse by Catholic priests, according to Gartner.

Shame, silence, secrecy
Still, the shame and stigma makes it less common for boys to report abuse and seek help than girls, studies show.

“Men tend to come into treatment much later in life,” said Gartner. “Usually they are in their 30s, 40s or 50s — occasionally in their 70s — never having spoken about this.”

Their reluctance to talk about abuse is partly to blame for the perception that sexual abuse of boys is rare, Gartner said.

Research shows that about one in six boys are sexually abused before they are 16 years old, according to Hopper, a founding board member of the nonprofit organization OneInSix, which aims to help men deal with abuse they experienced as children.

The number for girls is one in four. The statistics do not include verbal harassment or other forms of non-physical sexual abuse, such as forcing a child to watch a sexual act.

Reports of sexual abuse by boys are still more likely to be dismissed, researchers say, which can intensify the victim’s pain and difficulty later in life.

“Boys who are sexually abused are mostly disbelieved, or it is minimized,” said Gartner. “They’re told, ‘just get over it’.”

“They learn that nobody’s safe,” said Hopper. “That’s really devastating. … that people who were supposed to protect me are not going to help me, they are blaming me!”

That perception by a child can lead to a wide array of problems as they grow older, including depression, anxiety, emotional numbing, substance abuse, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

PTSD in high gear
Robert Brown, 51, who is now open about his story, was repeatedly sexually assaulted over the course of seven years when he was a child. He says the perpetrators were older boys who were favored because they were top athletes in his small New Hampshire town, while his plight was ignored by adults.

Brown did not acknowledge the problem to anyone until four years ago, when he was blindsided by a severe bout of post-traumatic stress.

Now he is a child protection activist, and shares his story on the MaleSurvivor.org forum, many of whom keep their abuse secret.

“In my lifetime and in my time with all other survivors that I know, the Penn State case is the most earth-shattering one for us to face,” Brown said in an interview.

“Probably because of the authority abused and the trust abused by the sports program and by Jerry Sandusky. It gets worse when we see that it’s underprivileged kids being so badly abused as if they are throwaway people,” he added.

“We identify very, very strongly with these boys. And we identify with the poor handling of this. To think there are 15-year-old cases that have never been dealt with,” Brown said. “It kicks off the (post-traumatic stress) into high gear — nightmares, flashbacks, extreme depression. It’s been some of the worst few days of my life emotionally.”

Gartner said that while the Penn State case has clearly caused pain and anguish for men struggling with the aftermath of abuse, it does demonstrate that perceptions have changed since the 1980s, when he started treating sexually abused men.

“Before the (Catholic) church scandal, even in professional meetings, people rolled their eyes, feeling that (sexual abuse of boys) happened rarely,” said Gartner. “Now, nobody seems to be saying it doesn’t happen. It does give people courage to come forward and disclose and get help, and that’s positive.”

Take care and STAY SAFE!

 

Penn State Tradegy by Erin Merryn

By now we all have heard about Penn State. All you need to do is turn on the television and whether you are watching the news or sports they are talking about it.

Jerry Sandusky doesn’t have many free days left before he is locked away for the rest of his life. He is a perfect example of why we need Erin’s Law in every state. Adults in charge witnessed children being molested by assistant coach Jerry Sandusky and while they reported it they did not take it to the police which they should have reported immediately when they saw it happen. No ifs, ands, buts, about it. They witnessed a horrific act take place or were told about these horrific acts being done to children and they turned a blind eye.

The Board of Trustees did exactly what needed to be done and that was firing the President of the University and head coach Joe Paterno. Joe started off doing the right thing by taking it to the President but when the President did not go to police with the matter this is when it was Joe Paterno’s moral duty to report it to police. Instead more children’s innocence would be stolen all in the sake of protecting the Universities reputation. A school’s image is more important in the mind of a University President then innocent children who fell into the hands of a very dangerous sick individual who used his authority to groom and rape children. Reports have said Sandusky gave the children he abused many gifts. Often sexual predators use gifts as a way to silence children on top of threats. Several adults over a fifteen year time period were aware of Jerry Sandusky’s actions yet Jerry continued to be around children and abusing several more.

If these children had learned in school the same way they are educated on tornado drills, bus drills, fire drills, DARE, Stranger Danger, Internet Safety, Bully Intervention, etc. on safe touch, unsafe touch, safe secrets, unsafe secrets, how to get away and tell today then these children would have had the courage to speak up and keep telling an adult until someone put an end to their horror. Instead they were never educated because we fail to educate kids on sexual abuse which is why I went after Erin’s law. The law that would have empowered these children with the power to use their voice and tell someone. So many more children could have been saved from the hands of Jerry Sandusky had they been educated. Parents would have been educated through Erin’s law on what to talk about with their kids and the warning signs to look for in a child that has been abused. One parent whose child was abused spoke openly without her identity being revealed and she shared how her son’s behavior changed, he began acting out, showed lots of anger, and did not want to be around Sandusky. She went to the school guidance counselor about it and the guidance counselor brushed it off saying it is a phase he is going through. Had this mother been educated on the biggest silent epidemic in this world, that being sexual abuse of children, then she would have known to talk to her son and her son would have known to talk and not keep these secrets.

I would advise any parent never to let your kids stay the night with their coach. Invites to overnights by a coach, youth group leader, etc. is a red flag right there. That should be a strict boundary in every household. I don’t care how well you think you know the person. Is the risk really worth it knowing your child could fall hands to a predator you never imagined would do such a thing. It is time for the world to take off their blinders and wake up. What has happened at Penn State as I have been saying for years is happening in our own backyards. Just take a look in your own community. These sex offenders  live in your communities and you don’t even know it because many have not been caught. Not until we educate children through Erin’s Law in schools will more children break their silence. My law will prevent what happened at Penn State from ever happening again because children won’t spend years in silence because they will be educated to know this is wrong and not to keep it a secret. Children will be turning these sexual predators in the first time it happens because they will be getting the other end of the message. The first message is to stay silent, this is our secret, don’t tell anyone, I will hurt you, your family, no one will believe you, etc. The message that is missing throughout society is the educational piece. Don’t keep this a secret, tell someone, we will believe you, keep telling until someone takes action, who are safe people in your life you can tell if this happened to you, etc.” Sexual predators don’t just take children’s innocence they take their voice when they are being abused. We have to empower children to use their voice and not fall into the trap of silence.

Penn State needs to use what happened in their community and take action against this silent epidemic. They now have the reputation that won’t be going away. This scandal will be one talked about decades from now so they now have the power to make change happen in society. Addressing the silence around sexual abuse and demanding change. Being a voice for the 39 million survivors that exist in America alone. Urging their lawmakers and Governor to pass Erin’s Law in their state.

I turned the painful events of sexual abuse and rape in my childhood into putting a face and voice on this silent epidemic in my two books Stolen Innocence and Living For Today, passing Erin’s Law in Illinois and Missouri and eventually will get it passed in all 50 states, and flying the country speaking before thousands of people the past 7 1/2 years to shatter the silence, stigma, and shame around sexual abuse. The same way I turned the tragic events in my life into triumph the same is possible for the reputation of Penn State. They can do something positive about this unlike the riots that broke out this week. They can raise awareness and become a campus that is a face and voice on child sexual abuse for educational institutes around this country and world.

With an estimated 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America 3 million of those are children right now living in our country. That 3 million could fill 46 national football stadiums. Imagine that for a moment 46 national football stadiums of children that have been sexually abused. Joe Paterno was Penn State head football coach for 46 years.  For every year he was head coach the entire football stadium could be the 3 million children in America who were sexually abused. These children are real and the life long challenges they face because of sexual abuse can be life altering. Shame and pain that you could never imagine if you have never been abused. These children often grow up to be adults many carrying their silence into adulthood because the shame is too great. Because of the silence around sexual abuse they often feel so alone in this world. Alone in a world where a past comes back to haunt them in nightmares and flashbacks. Pulling them right back into reliving the trauma they suffered. Many survivors of sexual abuse as children will spend years in therapy trying to come to terms with what happened and learn how to go on living a life and not be defined by this.

I was interviewed by a Penn State writer for the college paper today for a story that will run in the next day or two. As I tried to explain to her that I wanted her to get across to her study body is the fact that this isn’t about college football. We are talking about innocent children who were raped at the hands of a very sick individual who preyed on them while they were doing something they loved, playing football. I would not be surprised if several of these children turned away from ever playing football again after what happened because of the painful reminder it brings back. I spoke back in April at a child abuse conference in Hershey, Pennsylvania not very far at all from Penn State. I had just come from speaking the day before at a New Jersey child abuse conference and drove two hours into Pennsylvania in my rental car. I was driving into a town that was known for being chocolate capital of the country. The light posts in the downtown were Hershey kisses, they have chocolate businesses every where and the biggest attraction is chocolate world where children go for school field trips and parents take kids. If you like chocolate you were in the right town and you would think it would be hard to pass through this town without stopping for chocolate. Well as I explained in my speech I don’t eat chocolate. I actually hate it. I won’t eat chocolate cake, brownies, frosting, ice cream, etc. How is it possible to hate chocolate? Well if you have read my books I explain clearly in them why I don’t eat chocolate you see I use to love chocolate as a kid. It took one night celebrating my grandfather’s birthday with all my other relatives in 1998 for me to find myself locked in a dark bedroom with a cousin on top of me, molesting me, begging him to let me go, hearing the sounds of happy birthday being sung downstairs to my grandfather, and eventually being told by my cousin to go get cake with him. I sat at a table in the kitchen in silence with a chocolate piece on cake and my cousin taking a seat right across from me with his piece of cake and just smiling at me with that grin I will never be able to erase from my mind. I felt my stomach turn and with the rich taste of chocolate in my mouth  and I just wanted to throw up. He often gave me something called a Star Crunch after abusing me at his house. Star Crunch was chocolate coated with caramel and rice crispy. Anytime I put any form of chocolate in my mouth it became triggering and the rich taste of it would immediately bring me back to memories of abuse. I have tested myself and have learned the only way chocolate doesn’t do that to me is chocolate with peanut butter in it. Here is one example how someone even like myself that is so outspoken on sexual abuse can also continue to be affected by actions of someone who abused me.

Penn State is a national tragedy and many lives have been hurt. It is time to raise up and tackle this issue that needs to be addressed in every state, educated in every school, every home, and survivors need to know they have nothing to be ashamed of. I have no doubt that more boys will come forward and that number of 8 will get higher. If you know someone or are someone that has been abused and never told anyone or did tell someone and nothing was done then tell someone today. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you could be helping others come forward and find their voice. You find a new sense of peace finding your voice.

God Bless the survivors of sexual abuse at the hands of Jerry Sandusky. Justice will come I promise!

PENN STATE be an example for others, start to educate, raise awareness, go after Erin’s Law. The country is watching. Make us proud.

About Erin Merryn

Erin Merryn is the author of Stolen Innocence and Living for Today,  memoirs about incest and rape.  She graduated in May 2009 with a Master’s degree in Social Work from Aurora University. A leading participant in Take Back the Night, her goal is to raise awareness of abuse in order to end the stigma and silence. Since 2004 she has been traveling across America giving inspirational and motivational speeches at national conferences, community events, Children’s Advocacy Centers, colleges, and high schools. She has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America and Montel Williams.  Her writings have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, Daily Herald, and Teen Voices, among others. Erin spends her time between the suburbs of Chicago and Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Visit Erin at www.erinmerryn.net.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Back By Popular Demand, Anny Jacoby and Crime Time with Vito Colucci, Part 2

Sunday Night, September 11, 11pm ET

on Business Talk Radio

Listen LIVE: http://businesstalkradio.net/weekend_host/ctvc.shtml

Back for another run!  Vito Colucci invites Anny Jacoby back to the show to continue the conversation.  On this show they will discuss the importance of college campus safety, street smarts, carjacking and safety, stranger asking for directions, and knowing your surroundings.  Everyone will want to listen to the information on this show to know how to stay safe in a dangerous world!

Crime Time with Vito Colucci, P.I.  features anything crime related. Current high profile cases or trials are discussed in detail with commentary from experts in law  enforcement, investigators and lawyers.

Vito Colucci, Jr.

Vito Colucci, Jr., owner of Colucci Investigations LLC, is a former member of the Stamford, CT Police Department where he worked as a Narcotic’s Detective and Undercover Organized Crime Investigator. One of the main investigations Vito spearheaded during that time was uncovering the organized crime ties within his own police department.

Vito has been a private investigator for the past 22 years, working many high profile cases; Michael Skakel/Martha Moxley case, Jayson William’s case, and honeymooner, George Smith’s case .

Vito Colucci is a regular commentator on various news programs including: Fox News MSNBC, Catherine Crier/Court TV, Star Jones, Glenn Beck, Nancy Grace, Larry King, CNN Headline News, and The Bill O’Reilly Show, as well as being a featured speaker at the first World Investigator’s Conference in LasVegas in 2005.

Anny’s mission is to reach out to every avenue available to teach these skills at the corporate level, to emergency services, victim support groups and agencies, schools, colleges and health service providers.  Her professional programs are designed for every age group from children to seniors, as well as a program designed specifically for the disabled.

Recently, Anny has developed a new division to her company, Project Safe Girls, which is designed specifically for girls and is used in after school programs, girl’s organizations and YWCAs, to name a few of the target areas.  Specific curriculum and training is developed for age appropriate

Anny’s program is not traditional “self-defense” nor martial arts or weapons.  She has developed her training specifically for females and teaches them to use their bodies as their weapon to diffuse a violent situation.

Anny’s style is serious, with compassion and empathy, yet fun and empowering. Her training classes and seminars leave her students with a sense of confidence and an understanding of their intuitions regarding safety. Anny has authored a comprehensive training manual for each student to take with them as reference.

Anny Jacoby is available for speaking engagements, lectures, individual consultations and presentations. She is a Certified PDR (Personal Defense Readiness) Instructor and has a team of male Certified PDR instructors and coaches with The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company who are dedicated to teaching and training only females.

Anny is also an independent contractor as a Certified Prevention Specialist and an Authorized Stewards of Children Facilitator through the Darkness to Light prevention program.  She has developed a passion for educating parents and communities about the issue of child sexual abuse and prevention. She is available to travel throughout the US bringing this important and vital information to all.

For media appearances and inquires or speaking engagements please contact: ImaginePublicity, contact@imaginepublicity.com; 843-808-0859

 

Release produced by ImaginePublicity

Breaking down B4U-ACT’s (Pedophilia) Plea for Tolerance…

Just as the pedophile grooms and conditions his victims, the B4U-ACT group, a pro-pedophile organization, is being criticized for attempting to condition society to tolerate the “special feelings” pedophiles have for minors.

As you know, sympathetic activists held a conference encouraging society to connect emotionally with pedophiles to promote tolerance.

The group held a conference in Baltimore on August 17 that included clinicians, researchers and pedophiles talking about pedophilia and how those at risk for acting on their urges can seek real help. But the dominating topic of discussion was the group’s intentions of changing the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) classification of pedophilia.

B4U-ACT classifies pedophilia as a different type of sexual orientation, just as gay or hetero are different from each other. (Super! Let’s make new laws to protect all types of sexual orientation. What a circus society will be!)

While B4U-ACT may have its heart in the right place with their willingness to help pedophiles manage their sexual feelings for children, the group’s encouragement of using phrases such as, “minor-attracted persons” in place of “pedophiles” is very dangerous.

The B4U-ACT group repeatedly refers to pedophiles as, “minor-attracted persons.” The reference is made ad nauseam and appears on the B4U-ACT Web site like flies at a picnic.

Is it all part of their audio/visual conditioning plan to achieve societal acceptance for pedophilia? Here’s the thing–Society might be quite capable of tolerating the feelings defining pedophilia. It’s what happens as a result of those feelings that causes a visceral reaction from the world.

B4U-ACT claims to help pedophiles with compassionate understanding and a clear distinction between feelings and illegal actions. However, empathetic terms aimed at softening the true threat behind pedophilia are just another violation against our children. Especially when B4U-ACT starts tampering with the APA’s classification of pedophilia.

B4U-ACT’s holy grail might just be forcing the nation to illegalize the National Registry for Sex Offenders so we don’t hurt their feelings by “calling them out.”

B4U-ACT harps on the concept that many people who are attracted to children have never once acted on those feelings by engaging a minor in sex. This is probably true, and I highly doubt these responsible, law-abiding citizens need their feelings validated by B4U-ACT or society as a whole.

It’s coming across that B4U-ACT is trying to establish an empathetic response from society in order to create the path of open tolerance for pedophilia. Here’s the problem with that approach–Paths often turn into major roadways where speed limits are ignored.

So here, let’s simplify everything for the folks of B4U-ACT.  Attraction to children is something a person can easily seek help for through counseling. Pedophiles already know this and they also know society respects their self-control. The last thing our children or pedophiles need is B4U-ACT blurring the line between right and wrong with carefully selected terminology designed to soften the consequences of pedophilia.

This is no way to allay the fears of society, or the fears of a pedophile at risk of acting on his urges.

There is a bold line between right and wrong in society. Most of us clearly recognize that line every day in the things we say and do. We are all successfully controlling something in our lives. It is simply a part of respecting the difference between right and wrong.

If pedophiles want to feel included in society as a whole instead of being labeled as an outcast, the road to success is quite simple,

Don’t put your hands on a child. Ever.

Don’t have a child’s hands on you. Ever.

This “organization” and others cannot be allowed to keep going on as if they are to be accepted and tolerated.  No, I do not have tolerance for B4U-ACT, it’s members nor supporters.  As long as there are many of us in this arena fighting for our children who do not have a voice – we will continue to expose organizations of this sort for what they truly are.  Educating the public is imperative, saving our children is IMPERATIVE.

Child sexual abuse and assault will never be tolerated, never!  The “urge” will never be tolerated!

Thank you Kristen Berry for your contribution and stance.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

‘Dance Crew’ Judge DISTURBING Details In Child Sex Case

Former “America’s Best Dance Crew” judge Shane Sparks allegedly sexually abused at least 6 young girls IN ADDITION to the woman who claims Sparks raped her when she was 12 years old  … this according to court documents obtained by TMZ.

The documents were just made public … following a plea deal Sparks made with the L.A. County District Attorney in which he received 270 days in jail after pleading no contest to having unlawful sex with a minor under 16.

The allegations in the documents are extremely disturbing — with the victim telling police Sparks forced her to have sex with him after driving her home from a dance class he had taught in 1994 when she was only 12 years old.

According to the docs, the victim claims Sparks took her to HIS home where he started to “make out” with her … and then he “rolled on top of her and pinned her beneath him.”

The docs explain, “The victim told him she was a virgin and not ready for intercourse” but Sparks “ignored her pleas and penetrated her vagina for several minutes. He then drove her home.”

According to the docs, investigators found “at least six other victims, whom between the ages of 12-17, were also abused by [Sparks].” No further details about the other alleged victims are included in the docs.

Sparks is expected to begin his sentence sometime in the next year.

Via TMZ

You NEVER know who is a pedophile – they don’t have a “look”; he/she can be ANYONE!  They have many faces, in many professions and just the average person in a crowd.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Paving the Way for Condoning Child Rape by Dr. Keith Ablow…

There were those who scoffed at my contention that Abercrombie and Fitch, the edgy retailer, was paving the way for mainstream pedophilia when it began marketing breast enhancing bikinis to girls as young as eight.

There were those who railed against my contention that the French edition of Vogue was kindling pedophilia and embracing it with its racy depictions of 10-year-old Thylane Lena-Rose Loubry-Blondeau in heavy makeup, a plunging neckline and stiletto heels.

There were others who suggested that I had a problem with breastfeeding, in general, when I took issue with The Breast Milk Baby, which encourages little girls to wear a vest that has flowers in place of larger nipples and nurse the doll.

But, now, there should be no doubt that our culture is poised to begin embracing pedophilia as a lifestyle choice, just like homosexuality. A group of psychiatrists and other mental health professionals called B4U-Act, which has representatives from Harvard and Johns Hopkins, gathered recently in Baltimore to organize their push to change the negative perception of pedophiles and encourage them to get help in a nonjudgmental environment.

While B4U-Act is not representative of mainstream psychiatry, and while the American Psychiatric Association (APA) did not participate in the group’s meeting, psychiatry has a history of caving into cultural pressure to stop defining controversial illnesses as pathological. You won’t even find ego-dystonic homosexuality—meaning, homosexual impulses that cause an individual to feel distressed and which that individual does not want to give into—in the DSM, anymore.

Some of the goals of B4U-Act are worthwhile. Encouraging pedophiles to seek psychiatric treatment to resist their pathological urges is a good thing, not a bad thing. I wish every pedophile would get help before ever hurting a child. And the group is absolutely right in asserting that some pedophiles—perhaps the vast majority of pedophiles—never actually do commit a crime. They live with their erotic desires for children without ever acting on them.

Dr. Fred Berlin, a Johns Hopkins psychiatrist, bonafide genius, and truly decent person, is quoted on the website of B4U-Act. His treatment protocols for sexual offenders and others with such impulses do indeed vastly reduce the likelihood that such individuals will hurt children, and his efforts are to be lauded.

But what the members of B4U-Act fail to realize is that there are some impulses worth repressing from consciousness—like the impulse to rape children. There are even thoughts worth repressing—like fantasies of having sex with children. When a society stigmatizes certain actions and thoughts—thereby driving them out of mainstream consciousness and into the shadows—that isn’t always a bad thing.

The group also fails to recognize that there are consequences to removing all moral judgment from a profession. Psychiatry, for example, has become hostile to suggesting that alcoholics are actually choosing their drug over their families and jobs and other responsibilities—and that making that choice is morally reprehensible. Why isn’t it all right for psychiatrists to take a hard line against pedophilia and see it for what it is: a desire to violate and injure children that is both pathological and morally reprehensible and to be resisted by every means possible?

I’ve told more than one of my patients that his real diagnosis, given his behavior in embracing drugs, instead of his family or employment, shouldn’t be alcohol dependence or heroin dependence, but “scumbag.” And I then have quickly added that they can do better than that—that they must choose to do better than that, because, deep inside, they are good and decent and lovable. I tell them they can find the courage to do the right thing, instead of the wrong thing. Yes, I sometimes use the word “wrong.” I judge them. It helps.

I would not hesitate to tell a pedophile that his desires are to injure and torture a child—that they are morally wrong—and that it is his responsibility to ferret out the source of those destructive desires and extinguish them. I wouldn’t for a moment commiserate about how hard it is to live in a society that criminalizes the acts he is moved to commit.

Suggesting to pedophiles that their thoughts and impulses are “understandable” and that they won’t be judged by the members of B4U-Act is the kind of message that encourages them to push harder to change what they think of as unfair laws that keep them from their base desires.

I hate to say I told you so, but . . . well . . . OK, I won’t.

Dr. Keith Ablow, MD is one of America’s leading psychiatrists.  He is a graduate of Brown University and the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, an assistant professor at Tufts Medical School, and is board certified in adult, adolescent and forensic psychiatry.  He is the author of numerous books on overcoming depression, anxiety disorders and other psychological challenges and serves as the FOX NEWS expert on psychiatry and as a contributing editor at both Good Housekeepingand Men’s Fitness.

Thank you Dr. Ablow for your professional contribution, for telling “it” just as it is and for being a voice for our children.  You are appreciated.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Breaking: Pedophilia Controversy

Over the last few days we have seen a few articles written about B4U-ACT and the conferences they are holding.  This organization is attempting to normalize pedophilia.  They are attempting to change the name of pedophiles to “minor attracted” as well as create a way for the public to be more tolerant of pedophiles and to change and enact laws to help pedophiles and lesson sex offender laws.

B4U-ACT was founded by Michael Melsheimer aka Lek who was a sex offender, a pedophile and an activist member of Boy Chat.  He ran B4U-ACT with Richard Kramer.  Richard Kramer of the website, MHAMic (Male Homosexual Attraction to Minors Information Center) runs a website designed to coerce the public into believing sexual abuse of children is not harmful.  B4U-Act is also associated with Reformsexoffenderlaws.org who is attempting to change law lessoning  sex offender incarcerations and stop the sex offender registry and also  has ties to NAMBLA.

We must get active.  We as American’s have a duty to protect our children and our nations children from harm.  As Child Abuse Advocates we know first hand how physically and emotionally harmful and scarring pedophilia is.  We know that child sexual abuse not only physically hurts children, not only mentally hurts children but in some cases kills children. We know it is not “love” as they claim, but ABUSE!!!!  We know that sexual abuse of our children must not be tolerated, must not ever be accepted and must be fought with everything we have!  Please share this note with everyone you know.  Ask everyone to use their voice.  Post it on pages of media outlets and every child abuse advocates pages !!!  Share this with every single friend !!!  The people behind these organizations are CRIMINALS !!!! THEY MUST BE STOPPED, WE MUST OPEN EVERYONE’S EYES TO THIS !!!!

Please see the following links below to get a better understanding and confirm this for yourself.

B4U-Act Website:

http://www.b4uact.org/

Recent news articles about B4U-Act:

FOX2 VIDEO LINKS:

 http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/25/paving-way-for-condoning-child-rape/

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/24/mental-health-group-looks-to-remove-stigma-from-pedophilia/

http://www.salon.com/life/sexual_abuse/?story=/mwt/feature/2011/08/17/pedophilia

DAILY CALLER LINK:

http://dailycaller.com/2011/08/15/conference-aims-to-normalize-pedophilia/

Please research the following websites:

Reform Sex Offender Laws

MHAMic

NAMBLA

BoyChat

Who was Michael Melsheimer the founder of B4U-Act??

Michael Frederick Melsheimer, 67, of Westminster, died Thursday, July 15, 2010, at Carroll Hospice’s Dove House. Born Aug. 21, 1942, in Jacksonville, Fla., he was the son of the late Richard L. and Nancy R. Ison Melsheimer. He was an Army veteran having served during the Vietnam era. He was a social service worker, and co-founded and was active with the nonprofit B4U-ACT. Surviving is a friend, Russell Dick, of Westminster.  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/carrollcountytimes/obituary.aspx?n=michael-f-melsheimer&pid=144094084

B4U-ACT is an advocacy organization for “minor attracted adults” who they claim are being discriminated against by society. On their site they claim to want to help child molesters get the therapeutic help they need to not act on their impulses, but this is a lie they use to keep their 501(c)(3) status and remain eligible for grant money they receive from the state of Maryland.

The truth of B4U-ACT is made plain by the online activities of those involved in the group. In May of 2009 a “Richard K” working on behalf of B4U-ACT posted the following on a now defunct child molester forum called Boylove.net:

For those of you who don’t know, B4U-ACT (www.b4uact.org) is a 501c3 non-profit organization started by Mike Melsheimer, an out BL [boy lover] who posts at Boychat. The goal of B4U-ACT is to promote communication between BLs/GLs and mental health professionals so they can learn about us and start to work with us to counteract stereotyping, stigmatization, and hatred.

We also want to help them develop *humane* and ethical ways of working with those BLs who want therapy to deal with society’s hatred, or other issues related or unrelated to being BLs. (B4U-ACT does *not* believe BLs are “sick” and need to be “cured”.)

I now work with B4U-ACT, and was part of the planning committee for this workshop that was held last Thursday. The following is a report of what was discussed at the workshop. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2767355/posts

The late Mike Melsheimer who started B4U-Act was a convicted child molester, first caught in 1984 when he was the director of Pennsylvania YMCA. He befriended the two young sons of a Nicaraguan immigrant and began producing child pornography using the boys. In 2002 Melsheimer made the news in Maryland by publicly demanding the state provide him lists of comprehensive mental health services for his pedophilia. At the same time, he was a frequent poster on pro-child rape forums using his own name or sometimes the handle “Lek” where he spoke at length of the time he spent in Thailand. In one 2009 discussion on a forum called Boychat, Melsheimer is taken to task by other child molesters for B4U-ACT’s claim they want to help stop “minor attracted adults” from offending. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2767355/posts

Who is Richard Kramer?

Richard Kramer is the owner of the website “Male Homosexual Attraction to Minors Information Center” and a member of “Boy Chat”.  Here is an example of him speaking out on  the BoyChat website:

We have to examine our audience and our message. As for the former, we have to do triage. The antis (including the mainstream media, politicians, etc.) are a waste of time. Life’s too short and our emotional resources are too limited to get into arguments with people who can’t change their minds about us or have vested (political or financial) interests in perpetuating the lies. Then there are the people who already understand (mainly us, but there are a few non-MAAs who understand).

We need to identify the middle group: people who don’t know us but who we have a chance of helping to understand. These are people who:

– are oriented toward compassion, understanding, and acceptance of marginalized people

– aren’t easily frightened about sex, different perspectives; and

– are skeptical of the conventional wisdom.

It’s also important that they have some kind of influence in society in order to maximize the effect of our contacts with them.

As for our message, it’s silly and counterproductive to argue a pro-sex position. That’s not even the real issue. Society needs to believe we’re dangerous in order to justify their hatred. THE HATRED COMES FIRST. Trying to address any issue without addressing the hatred is like treating the symptoms without treating the illness. The gay movement knows that. Very little of the pro-gay literature actually talks about sex. It’s all about accepting differences, not hating, stereotyping, and doing violence to people for a characteristic they did not choose, and caring for children and teenagers who are growing up in a society that rejects them. http://absolutezerounited.blogspot.com/2009/03/this-is-important-discussion.html

The list goes on and on and on, Doctors and Pedophiles working together to achieve their common goal.  I won’t list them all here and waste any more space but if you google any of these names you will find a slew of other people working with them to normalize child sexual abuse.

These organizations are all tied in with each other through the common ground of being  pedophiles.  Here is a great video on youtube that thoroughly shows how by combining their collective efforts they are attempting to legalize pedophilia.

Their goal is to take all shame and responsibility out of the lust for children.

The APA (American Psychiatric Association) did not participate in the conference and does NOT condone the group’s message.  “An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act and this is NEVER considered normal or socially acceptable behavior.” (APA 2003 position statement.)