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Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence…
Warning signs to watch out for teen dating violence include: sudden loss of interest in activities, low grades, changes in appetite, changes in sleep patterns, loss of regular friends and drastic changes in clothing.
Often victims will wear long sleeves, long pants and scarves to hide bruises and marks. If you as a parent suspect that your teen is in an abusive relationship, encourage zero tolerance for inappropriate dating behaviors.
If you suspect that your teen is being violent to their dating partner, talk to them. Let the teen know that love is about respect. Sometimes it is difficult to realize that your child is being mean or violent. Do not allow aggressive behavior in the home. Talk to the teen about emotional abuse and how it is unacceptable in any relationship. You could say something like, “It bothers me when you yell at so-and-so.” Express concern and talk to the teen about appropriate behavior. You may even want to seek professional help for your teen.
Teen dating violence is a problem that parents can help prevent. Talk to teens about the different types of violence. Be alert for warning signs and let the teens know that you care. Most of all, show teens the appropriate way to behave by being respectful and caring towards other people.
Encouraging teens to have healthy relationships before they begin dating is important. Be aware and keep the lines of communication open with teens about their relationships.
Signs of an abusive relationship
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.
To determine whether your teen relationship is abusive, ask her/him to answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that your teen may be in an abusive relationship.
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings
Do you:
- feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
- avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
- feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
- believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
- wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
- feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Does your partner:
- humiliate or yell at you?
- criticize you and put you down?
- treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends and family to see?
- ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
- blame you for his/her own abusive behavior?
- see you a property or a sex object, rather than a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats
Does your partner:
- have a bad and unpredictable temper?
- hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
- threaten to commit suicide if you break up with him/her?
- force you to have sex?
- destroy your belongings?
Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:
- act excessively jealous and possessive?
- control where you go and what you do?
- keeps you from seeing your friends or family?
- constantly checking up on you?
- excessive texting or calling you?
If your teen is afraid for her/his safety or has been assaulted by her/his partner please dial 911 or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-787-3224.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
“Red, White & View” – Teen Dating Violence Discussion…
VICE PRESIDENT JOSEPH R. BIDEN TO DISCUSS ISSUE OF DATING VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT AFFECTING TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS, LIVE ON “THE VIEW,” TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27
Barbara Walters and Bill Geddie, executive producers of the ABC’s Daytime Emmy® Award-winning talk show, “The View,” announced that Joseph R. Biden, the 47th Vice President of the United States, will be the special guest, live, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 (11:00 a.m.-12:00 noon, ET). The Vice President will focus on the threat of dating violence and sexual assault that continues to exist for teens and young adults across the country. The Vice President’s appearance is part of “Red, White & View” continuing the show’s commitment to political guests and discussions.
The author of the landmark Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), Vice President Biden has led the effort to combat violence against women for over 20 years. He continues the cause today leading the fight from the White House.
Over the past year, in response to the high rates of violence and abuse that continue to face young women under the age of 24, Vice President Biden has refocused his long standing commitment to reducing violence against women specifically on teens and young adults. Under the Vice President’s leadership, the Administration has undertaken a wide range of new and innovative efforts to address the issue. Just last week, in a video message released via Twitter and YouTube, Vice President Biden launched the “1is2Many” project calling on high school and college-aged students to share their ideas on preventing dating violence and sexual assault at schools and on their campuses.
Dating abuse isn’t always as obvious as bruises and beatings. In fact, if you don’t know any better, some of the most common forms of relationship abuse might seem like the way that boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to act.
That’s why it’s so important that you learn the signs of abusive relationships as soon as you start dating. If any of the signs below are true for your relationship, get help. The following signs can be applied to abused males as well by girlfriends. Victimization DOES NOT discriminate.
1. He Constantly Checks In on You
If your sweetie’s attentive and asks you about your life, that’s fantastic. But if he constantly calls you and expects a full report on where you’ve been and who you’ve been with, then something more sinister’s going on.
2. He Lies to You
Relationships can’t survive unless you trust each other, and if your partner abuses that trust by lying to you, it’s a relationship that isn’t worth keeping. A couple of white lies are forgivable. Lying regularly, or lying about important stuff, is absolutely not.
3. He Won’t Let You Talk to Other Guys
Don’t stand for this form of relationship abuse. You’re allowed to talk to anyone of any gender you want. If your sweetie is suspicious of something, he should have a mature conversation with you about it, but he’s not allowed to control your behavior.
4. He Threatens to Hurt Himself
When someone tells you something like, “I’ll kill myself if you break up with me,” they’re using fear and guilt to manipulate you. Any threat should be taken seriously, so speak to a parent or counselor about it. But you don’t have to play along.
5. He Loses His Temper Quickly
Everyone gets mad sometimes, and that’s okay. But if your sweetie snaps at you over the tiniest things and blames you for things that aren’t your fault, then something’s wrong (and it’s not you).
6. He Embarrasses You in Public
No one who loves you (or even likes you a lot) should ever make you feel bad about yourself. Doing it in public – by calling you names or making fun of you when other people are watching – is especially cruel, and you don’t have to stand for it.
7. He Forces You to Have Sex
Sex doesn’t just mean intercourse. It can mean a whole range of sexual activity, including oral sex or even just touching. If your partner forces you to do anything physical that you don’t want to do, get out of the relationship.
8. He Keeps You Away From Your Friends
Abusers are pretty smart. They know that if your friends found out the truth, they’d tell you to get out of the relationship lickety-split. By pushing your friends away, abusers are trying to protect themselves. Don’t let them.
9. He Looks at Your Phone
No one – not even the love of your life – has the right to monitor your calls and texts. And you’re allowed to be in contact with whomever you want (even your exes). If your sweetie disagrees, he’s trying to control you, and that’s a form of abuse.
10. He Does Anything That Scares You in Any Way
This could mean physical violence, the threat of violence, harsh words or dangerous behavior of any kind. Bottom line: if you’re scared to be around someone – even someone you love – don’t be around them any more. Break it off right away.
Breaking down B4U-ACT’s (Pedophilia) Plea for Tolerance…
Just as the pedophile grooms and conditions his victims, the B4U-ACT group, a pro-pedophile organization, is being criticized for attempting to condition society to tolerate the “special feelings” pedophiles have for minors.
As you know, sympathetic activists held a conference encouraging society to connect emotionally with pedophiles to promote tolerance.
The group held a conference in Baltimore on August 17 that included clinicians, researchers and pedophiles talking about pedophilia and how those at risk for acting on their urges can seek real help. But the dominating topic of discussion was the group’s intentions of changing the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) classification of pedophilia.
B4U-ACT classifies pedophilia as a different type of sexual orientation, just as gay or hetero are different from each other. (Super! Let’s make new laws to protect all types of sexual orientation. What a circus society will be!)
While B4U-ACT may have its heart in the right place with their willingness to help pedophiles manage their sexual feelings for children, the group’s encouragement of using phrases such as, “minor-attracted persons” in place of “pedophiles” is very dangerous.
The B4U-ACT group repeatedly refers to pedophiles as, “minor-attracted persons.” The reference is made ad nauseam and appears on the B4U-ACT Web site like flies at a picnic.
Is it all part of their audio/visual conditioning plan to achieve societal acceptance for pedophilia? Here’s the thing–Society might be quite capable of tolerating the feelings defining pedophilia. It’s what happens as a result of those feelings that causes a visceral reaction from the world.
B4U-ACT claims to help pedophiles with compassionate understanding and a clear distinction between feelings and illegal actions. However, empathetic terms aimed at softening the true threat behind pedophilia are just another violation against our children. Especially when B4U-ACT starts tampering with the APA’s classification of pedophilia.
B4U-ACT’s holy grail might just be forcing the nation to illegalize the National Registry for Sex Offenders so we don’t hurt their feelings by “calling them out.”
B4U-ACT harps on the concept that many people who are attracted to children have never once acted on those feelings by engaging a minor in sex. This is probably true, and I highly doubt these responsible, law-abiding citizens need their feelings validated by B4U-ACT or society as a whole.
It’s coming across that B4U-ACT is trying to establish an empathetic response from society in order to create the path of open tolerance for pedophilia. Here’s the problem with that approach–Paths often turn into major roadways where speed limits are ignored.
So here, let’s simplify everything for the folks of B4U-ACT. Attraction to children is something a person can easily seek help for through counseling. Pedophiles already know this and they also know society respects their self-control. The last thing our children or pedophiles need is B4U-ACT blurring the line between right and wrong with carefully selected terminology designed to soften the consequences of pedophilia.
This is no way to allay the fears of society, or the fears of a pedophile at risk of acting on his urges.
There is a bold line between right and wrong in society. Most of us clearly recognize that line every day in the things we say and do. We are all successfully controlling something in our lives. It is simply a part of respecting the difference between right and wrong.
If pedophiles want to feel included in society as a whole instead of being labeled as an outcast, the road to success is quite simple,
Don’t put your hands on a child. Ever.
Don’t have a child’s hands on you. Ever.
This “organization” and others cannot be allowed to keep going on as if they are to be accepted and tolerated. No, I do not have tolerance for B4U-ACT, it’s members nor supporters. As long as there are many of us in this arena fighting for our children who do not have a voice – we will continue to expose organizations of this sort for what they truly are. Educating the public is imperative, saving our children is IMPERATIVE.
Child sexual abuse and assault will never be tolerated, never! The “urge” will never be tolerated!
Thank you Kristen Berry for your contribution and stance.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
‘Dance Crew’ Judge DISTURBING Details In Child Sex Case
Former “America’s Best Dance Crew” judge Shane Sparks allegedly sexually abused at least 6 young girls IN ADDITION to the woman who claims Sparks raped her when she was 12 years old … this according to court documents obtained by TMZ.
The documents were just made public … following a plea deal Sparks made with the L.A. County District Attorney in which he received 270 days in jail after pleading no contest to having unlawful sex with a minor under 16.
The allegations in the documents are extremely disturbing — with the victim telling police Sparks forced her to have sex with him after driving her home from a dance class he had taught in 1994 when she was only 12 years old.
According to the docs, the victim claims Sparks took her to HIS home where he started to “make out” with her … and then he “rolled on top of her and pinned her beneath him.”
The docs explain, “The victim told him she was a virgin and not ready for intercourse” but Sparks “ignored her pleas and penetrated her vagina for several minutes. He then drove her home.”
According to the docs, investigators found “at least six other victims, whom between the ages of 12-17, were also abused by [Sparks].” No further details about the other alleged victims are included in the docs.
Sparks is expected to begin his sentence sometime in the next year.
Via TMZ
You NEVER know who is a pedophile – they don’t have a “look”; he/she can be ANYONE! They have many faces, in many professions and just the average person in a crowd.
Take care and STAY SAFE!