This post is for females of ALL ages.
There are two primary types of self-defense methods: proactive and reactive. Ideally, you will employ a combination of proactive self -defense methods and not have to rely on your reactive self-defense methods for dealing with potential violence and attackers.
What is Proactive Self Defense?
As the name implies, proactive self-defense are techniques you use before someone attacks you. Being proactive should prevent a dangerous or violent situation from happening and gives you time to put space between you and the possible assailant. For example, if you’re walking down the street and see someone who looks a bit suspicious or who otherwise makes you uncomfortable you have the opportunity to employ proactive self-defense. You can cross the street so you’re walking on the opposite side as the individual you’re unsure about. You can go into a store or public place if you’re in a location where that is possible. Proactive self-defense gives you the opportunity to possibly avoid a confrontation.
When you’re aware of what’s going on around you and of potential dangers, you have time to think about a strategy if a threat occurs. If an attack seems like it’s about to happen, you can make sure you are ready to act giving yourself a better chance at stunning the attacker rather than waiting until he or she is attacking you before trying to make a move.
Being proactive means you’re paying attention to your surroundings. If you’re walking with your head in the clouds and your MP3 player blaring in your ears, you give up your opportunity to be proactive and avoid a potentially dangerous or violent situation. Get the ear buds OUT OF YOUR EARS unless you are in a gym. Do not voluntarily take any of your senses away at any given time.
What is Reactive Defense?
Once you’ve been attacked, the opportunity for proactive defense is gone and now you must employ reactive self-defense methods in order to get away from the attacker. If someone jumps on your back while walking through a dark parking lot, you’re going to have an awfully hard time digging the pepper spray out from the bottom of your bag and spraying an attacker while he or she is attacking you. (I do not promote weapons such as pepper spray, guns, etc. = false security.)
Once you are being attacked the only thing you can do is react to the situation. You have no time to prepare or possibly prevent the situation from happening. Reactive self-defense techniques include physical fighting and attempting to outrun an attacker.
Now take a moment and ask yourself, would you rather be proactive or reactive? Not a tough choice but how many females actually know or learn how to be proactive? The number of females that know how to effectively protect and defend themselves is a small percentage to those that do not.
Any type or form of self-defense begins with knowledge and education. Prevention is the key, being proactive. Unfortunately we are not born with this knowledge, we are born with instincts but we have to be educated on the correct way to use them and how to physically defend ourselves.
I have a challenge for each of you. For one week, set a “daily” Google alert for domestic violence, sexual assault, rape, teen dating violence, abduction, bullying, stalking, murder and any other form of abuse or assault that you can think of that occurs over and over and over, hourly, daily. Read each alert that you get in your email. I mean go to the link and read the horrific reports that you receive. Read each one at least twice. Feel the pain, the turmoil; go to that dark place and put yourself in the victim’s situation. Then go look in the mirror and look at yourself and tell yourself that you have not been given a “free pass” to the possibility of being victimized. Yes, you are special but you must get your head out of the sand and realize that you are not exempt. If you are not educated, if you are not proactive nor know how to be you don’t have a snowballs chance in hell that you would survive an assault. You see anyone can and is victimized. Victimization does not discriminate.
So what do you do now? The majority of females will do nothing, absolutely nothing. Why? Because they have the mentality that “it won’t happen to me”. This post is meant to be a major wake-up call and I pray that I am reaching someone out here.
Google the murder of Jayna Murray in an upscale yoga store in Bethesda, Maryland on March 11, 2010 . When the report originally aired it was reported that two employees were assaulted and one, Jayna Murray was murdered during a botched robbery which escalated. This crime circulated on Saturday when the employee’s were found by a co-worker. Bethesda, surrounding areas, the entire country – females went into panic mode. How could this happen in Bethesda of all places? How could this have happened to Jayna, she was an awesome, sweet, loving person? And, her co-worker assaulted, alive but would live with this horrific crime for the rest of her life.
The country went into a tail spin, stunning everyone. The media went crazy and females everywhere were actively seeking some kind of self-defense training because FINALLY THEY GOT A WAKE-UP CALL!
Why in God’s name does something terrible have to happen for females to get it? Why does it take horrific crimes to be committed against females that gain media attention to make you/them look past their noses?
We now know that Jayna and her co-worker, Brittany Norwood was not sexually assaulted and Norwood has been allegedly charged with Jayna Murray’s murder. But……..what if? What if these two women were sexually assaulted, beaten, murdered and tied up? Can you even begin to imagine?
Now…..things are quieting down because Jayna wasn’t assaulted and murdered by a male. Females will go about their business and become complacent. SHAME ON YOU/THEM!
Perhaps if a victim is educated and knows how to “effectively and realistically” defend herself it doesn’t matter if her assailant is a male or female she would have a fighting chance. Don’t you think?
In order kids to drive, drivers of any age have to attend so many hours of classroom study and must drive with an instructor a set number of hours BEFORE obtaining a license to drive alone. In reality, what are the states teaching these new drivers??????? Defensive driving! Bingo! While driving you are taught to ALWAYS be watching out for the other drivers, anticipating their moves while driving.
I leave you with this thought……..since we teach DEFENSIVE driving techniques why in the world wouldn’t every female want to be taught HOW TO PROTECT AND DEFEND HERSELF? A car can be replaced, a life cannot whether in a car or from an assault.
Do something for yourself, don’t make your parents “make” you take a personal safety course (that’s another post as to what to look for in an effective course). You are not invincible, you are human!
March 21, 2011 Jayna Murray’s Parents Speak Out on GMA:
Jayna never mentioned the woman, Norwood to them. As the news broke of Jayna’s murder and spread thoughout the D.C. suburb that a killer was on the loose, Mrs. Murray said, “It’s the rumors that kill and it just burns you inside.” The family of Jayna Murray is healing through launching a foundation to remember the adventure seeking young women who loved to go bungee jumping. Jayna’s father reflects upon Jayna’s life stating, “One (Jayna) of the most fearless people I’ve every known in my life and that’s the objective as a father can get. I really admired her for everything she did and everything she represented.”
The family has created the Janya Troxel Murray Foundation to remember Janya’s life. For more information on the Janya Troxel Murray Foundation or to send a donation please send your donation to: The Janya Troxel Murray Foundation, P. O. Box 9492, The Woodlands, Texas 77387.
Keeping Jayna, family and friends in our thoughts and prayers. Blessings.
Your comments, feelings and thoughts are welcome. Please leave a comment.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
A new social media campaign known as Childhood Cartoon Faces hopes to raise awareness of violence against children by encouraging Facebook users to ditch traditional pictures in favor of the cartoon images.
“Change your Facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same,” said the Campaign to End Violence Against Children, a Facebook page.
“Until Monday [Dec. 6], there should be no human faces on Facebook but an invasion of memories,” the group also writes, meaning your friends’ pages should go back to normal by the start of the workweek.
This action is a collective effort to end or at least put a dent in ending child abuse for this weekend. We have an epidemic in this country and our people need/must recognize the absolute need of awareness and prevention.
We always ask individuals, groups and Advocates to go the extra mile in their Advocacy, this is just one more way of making a viral impact on the matter-at-hand. It is simple and meaningful to change your profile picture for such a worthy and much needed eye-opener to many. The thought of “it will never happen to my child (children) or in my community is the farthest from the truth. Victimization can happen to anyone – but it our jobs as adults to keep our little ones best interest and safety always first. They need our voices – be a voice.
Anny Jacoby will be participating in the local Chapel Hill, NC initiative for the prevention of child sexual abuse. Invited by the Executive Director of the Chapel Hill-Carrboro YMCA from a list of local leaders, Jacoby will be participating to initiate the Darkness to Light Stewards of Children child sexual abuse prevention program and Prevent Now! model, a combined community effort which will assist in promoting a sustainable and accountable prevention initiative, which will help better protect all children in the community.
According to leaders from the YMCA:
“One of the most proactive and pragmatic approaches to diminishing child sexual abuse is the education of responsible adults. Imagine a community where adults are actively working together to change a cultural norm – from one where child sexual abuse is shrouded in fear and denial and children are easy targets, to one where every child is better protected throughout the community. Now is the time for our community to be intentional and steadfast in our protective behaviors so that all children can grow up healthy and whole.”
The luncheon is scheduled for Tuesday, November 16, 2010 from 12:00 to 2:00 at Amity United Methodist Church which is located at825 N. Estes Drive, Chapel Hill, NC 27156.
Past participants of Prevent Now! meetings have found it to be an incredibly valuable experience.
Anny Jacoby is an outspoken advocate for child safety, focusing on prevention by personal safety training through both Project Safe Girls and The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company, where she offers training to females of all ages. Jacoby strongly feels education and awareness should be taught early and expanded through the community through organizations, schools and families.
If you are interested in scheduling Anny Jacoby for speaking engagements, workshops or events in your locality, please contact:
ImaginePublicity PO Box 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 843.808.0859
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.imaginepublicity.com
Your Daughters Deserve Assault Prevention Training
I was walking home from school 10 months ago and I saw someone walking behind me. They kept getting closer so I started to run but fell over, the man grabbed me and pushed me into a house and raped me with his friends. I escaped and told my parents but they didn’t do anything about it…I’m just alone.
Could your daughter defend herself mentally, emotionally and/or physically if she were attacked by some thug or someone that she knows? Would she be able to incapacitate a male in order to escape his wrath?
I know, I know……gruesome thoughts but absolutely necessary. It’s time for parents and kids to get their heads out-of-the sand and face reality. Assaults, abuse and crime happens every single day and our daughters ARE NOT educated mentally, emotionally nor physically on how to be proactive or how to handle an attack.
As a parent you have to make sure that your daughters have the attitude to successfully send a “stay away” message loud and clear in whatever form necessary to stifle an attack. There is nothing wrong with pumping our daughters full of education, training and internal attitude.
Being a target of any assailant is a true fear many have as females are realizing more and more that victimization does not discriminate.
It goes without saying that every victim’s mind races during an assault. Will I be killed? Will he beat me more, rape me, abduct me or kill me? The level of terror and anxiety is enormous and causes most victims to sometimes act irrationally. Some freeze and become incapacitated from fright. Others instinctively resist and try to fight back. Others will run away if possible. This is what is known as the “fight or flight syndrome/response”. This fundamental physiologic response forms the foundation of modern day medicine. The “fight or flight response” is our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from a perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.
The first thirty seconds are the most critical to a victim’s survival.
What Would You Do?
Most people have never pondered this question for themselves or with their family. How would you react under similar circumstances? How would you react independent or together in your family or with friends? How you naturally react depends on many factors: your sex, age, physical condition, culture, personality, how you process information, how you react under extreme pressure, special training, skills and past experience in responding to aggression. Most people do not know for sure how they would respond to a personal crisis until it occurs. Many are surprised afterward by their behavior as having been heroic, calm, cowardly, or stupid.
Would you try to overpower your assailant? Would you try to escape and call for help? Would you comply with his demands and hope that he doesn’t hurt you? Would you allow him to tie you up? Would you allow him to take you away from your home? Would you risk death?
The response possibilities are endless, but most fall into three general response possibilities. You can resist the assault, comply with all commands; or you can try to stay calm, wait, and resist, comply, or flee as the assault evolves. One thing is clear, there is not one single correct response to a life-threatening home invasion or assault of any kind. The choice is personal, based on your own assessment of your physical and mental capabilities and your belief as to the level of eminent danger.
Sometimes fighting and screaming, especially if there are neighbors or others who will intervene or call the police. It makes no sense to risk fighting if you are physically incapable of doing so effectively. Total compliance sometimes works. The assailant might leave you unharmed and just leave. However, compliance may increase the duration of the assault and therefore increase the potential for further harm. You need to thoughtfully consider how you might act under circumstances and plan accordingly.
It has been proven that with proper education and training a victim has more of a chance of escaping or deterring a potential threat if she is educated and trained in assault prevention.
Again…….What would you do?
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Protecting Our Daughters … What Can You Do As A Parent?
They are your babies, you cradled them in your arms when they were infants. You nurture them, support them, love them as they grow and mature and … protect them. As a parent, it is your responsibility, it’s your passion and yes it’s your JOB. The question lies before us (parents) … how do we protect them when we are physically separated from them and they from us?
How do we insure their safety in a world growing more and more insane, more unstable and more dangerous by the day? (Think of the numerous tragedies that has happened at high schools, colleges, abductions, human trafficking and more that you have seen or read about in the news.) Even when our little girls and adult daughters have graduated from high school and/or college, she will always be your child and her safety will always be at the forefront in your thoughts.
Unfortunately, females continue to deny the need for their own self-protection, relying instead on arguments that the law, spouse, brother, father, etc., should be protecting them. Statistics have indicated that the reality is that the ones expected to protect them are the majority of the ones committing the crimes. But the reality is, if they expect things to change, then they (individually) must be in control of their destiny and change.
As a parent, you owe your daughters and even yourself if you are a mom reading this post the knowledge, wisdom, the upper edge to not become a statistic. Dads it is also your responsibility to get and stayed involved, it is your JOB as well.
Often asked, “Why do you advocate that EVERY female has the absolute right to protect and defend herself?” Simple answer … “to ensure her own safety”.
Crime, victimization can happen to anyone at anytime. Whether you want to live in your fantasy world or not, this is harsh reality. At some point in your daughter’s life she will flash across an assailant’s (majority male) radar as prey. She will be attacked and/or assaulted. She will be alone and vulnerable. And most likely, it will come from the one she least expected. The next question, what will she do?
You, the parent must be the role model for your daughters. We tell our daughters that they can be anything they want. How about safe? How do we show them how to protect themselves against rape, assaults, dating violence, intimate partner violence and more if parents do not set an example of being strong and standing up for themselves by being able to defend themselves – emotionally, mentally, verbally, spiritually and ultimately physically? If parents continue to move in silence about things that happen to women (rape, assault, emotional abuse, dating violence, domestic violence) how are you going to help your daughters become stronger and show your sons what is and is not acceptable behavior from a male?
Countless females come into my speaking engagements and training sessions as sheep and walk out determined, strong and empowered who are ready to take control of their own lives. A personal safety/self-defense course does empower them; but it will educate them in showing them the options in order to take control of their lives and feel safer in their world.
Many of us in this arena refer to personal safety/self-defense as “Life Extension” insurance. Money is spent to insure our automobiles, lives, jewelry, disabilities, travel, rental property and more but yet females hesitate when spending money on a personal safety/self-defense class that can truly SAVE their lives. Women’s personal safety/self-defense classes have an incredible positive impact on participants and greatly changes lives for the better. Classes provide you with real insurance to protect your life. There is not one form of personal safety/self-defense that is 100% guaranteed but it’s better to know something rather than nothing and doing something rather than nothing.
There is one excuse, a major excuse (“It costs too much”) that is extremely frustrating to those of us in this arena. It is completely understandable that people have financial challenges. You cannot put a price tag on a life. Most classes range between $100-$200, but yet many have no problem going out and spending this amount on dinner, buying clothes, getting their hair done and the list goes on. If you knew that you or your daughter would at sometime in either of your lives would be attacked, how much would you be willing to invest in some basic personal safety/self-defense training? I would hope that your answer would be “no limit”. The problem is that people are willing to gamble with the odds of being attacked or assaulted instead of being proactive and learning personal safety/self-defense as an insurance policy.
Whenever a mother or father contacts me or enrolls their daughters in a class I immediately commend them for being proactive because the majority of people are reactive, waiting until something happens to them before learning any personal protection skills. Any victim who has been assaulted and was able to put into use what she learned in a class … ask her if what she paid to learn was too much.
If you won’t do it for yourself, how about for those who count on you the most – your daughters, your mothers, your siblings, etc.? What happens if you are now dead or incapacitated because of a crime? Who takes care of those that you took care of?
Take the time to take care of yourself and your daughters. Empower your life and your daughter’s lives – take a class. You just might surprise yourself with what you are capable of doing as well as your daughters. Allow them each to become empowered with knowledge. Knowledge is a powerful tool. The new outlook that you and/or your daughter(s) will gain will greatly improve your lives.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Females & Guns; Myths=Excuses, Facts=Reality
Last week I had the honor to be a guest on The Cop Doc’s BlogTalkRadio show (Richard Weinblatt) with Betsy Brantner Smith and Steve Kardian (all former police officers).
The topic of guns (weapons) was presented during our discussion and I strongly took a stance, which I have always; against promoting weapons for females to use for self-defense. I feel that it is imperative to once again stress my concerns (cons) about weapons and false security of same.
Let’s take a look at why not……the facts and reality of such myth.
First, I say congratulations! I have heard this comment from females and males on behalf of the women in their lives with a cavalier attitude – all thinking/feeling that if owning a gun is the only sufficient method of personal safety/self-defense.
Weapons are advantageous and necessary when situations demand their use. Our military are not equipped with cans of pepper spray, really loud whistles and table knives. Our soldiers and law enforcement are armed with top-of-the line deadly weapons in order to fulfill their duties to be able to fight defensively during wartime. Good common sense.
Supporting the right to bear arms comes in when you wake up in the middle of the night, you hear a strange noise, having a gun safely in your night stand is a good thing. You will probably have enough time to make a 911 call; get your weapon, gather up enough courage to head toward the direction of the noise and attempt to intimidate and stall him until the police arrive. A gun is handy when it is used with KNOWLEDGE, GOOD JUDGMENT AND RESPECT. Most important…….it’s best IF you have time to use it.
Realistically, when you are attacked by an assailant, it happens without warning or if you find yourself in a domestic dispute a gun could be the end of your life. You are given the smallest margin of time to prepare your defense. I don’t care what your weapon of choice is you will not be given the time necessary to pull it out and use it. If you are unexpectedly pushed or ambushed to the ground, even if you have your weapon in your pocketbook, it’s not going to help the situation. If you decide to draw a gun on an assailant you don’t have time nor are able to tell him to hold still while you try to find the weapon in the bottom of your purse. As for Pepper spray or Mace you do not walk around with your finger on the trigger (there is a safety) and you better pray that the wind is not blowing in your direction – you will be covered with either of them. Then what happens? Your assailant will most likely overpower you and use your weapon of choice on you. He’s not going to hold still for you while you try to find your weapon, aim it and fire/spray – he’s going to move in for the kill and fulfill his intention that he had from the beginning.
Ultimately, when faced with predicaments the call for immediate personal safety training/self-defense, the only two things that are readily available – your MIND AND BODY. That’s all you have, bottom-line.
Guns are useful in certain situations or as a means of intimidation; the odds of being able to access a weapon in enough time so that it retains its benefits are pretty damn slim. A gun in your safety box or safe at your home won’t help you when someone attacks you while you are jogging in the park or in the grocery store parking lot. A gun in your car console won’t assist you either – you simply DO NOT walk around with your finger on the trigger nor on your hip in a holster as trained military and law enforcement officers do.
This same principle applies to any weapons – including pepper spray, Mace or knives. And, honestly the majority of females that are not military and law enforcement will freeze in FEAR. Being assaulted is not the same as being at the range learning to fire that weapon – you don’t have that kind of time to think of what to do. The first five seconds of an attack is your best chance for your defense.
Ultimately, learn how to use yourself as a weapon and you might not have to worry about owning a gun. Learn effective non-verbal and verbal de-escalation skills. Learn how to read body language and how you can effectively and realistically use your body to defend yourself. Learn what tools you have in your toolbox in the event you have to use them. You are physically and mentally equipped with so many but females do not realize this……until they are properly trained. Yes, you have to practice mentally and physically. You cannot just take one class and never think about it again. Self-defense/personal safety has to become embedded in your mind forming mental blueprints so that you react and respond quickly.
Food for thought…….why do you think our military and law enforcement are taught “hand-to-hand combat” extensively in training? Simple answer…….they may not have enough time to draw their weapons to defend themselves in the event of an altercation. They must know how to protect and defend themselves “realistically” with their minds and bodies rather than depending on their weapon.
So, why wouldn’t you do everything in your power to learn how to use your mind and body “realistically” to defend yourself? Take a moment to watch and listen to video #1 to the right of your screen. Tony Blauer, Owner and President of Blauer Tactical Systems, Inc. teaches us for certification of the S.P.E.A.R. system (self-defense based on your natural flinch) to teach civilians – yes, he is well known in the military/government and law enforcement arena. Listen carefully to his words.
Bottom-line, weapons give females FALSE security. Learn to use what you have readily available, learn to use it wisely and correctly – YOUR MIND AND BODY. Having those mental blueprints, learning about awareness and intuition and so much more will empower you. Knowledge in itself is a powerful tool!
Take care and STAY SAFE!
I.C.E. Pics…In Case of Emergency Pictures
Just as everyone with a cell phone should have ICE (In Case of Emergency) contacts programmed in their phones here is an awesome way to deter and prevent crime and maybe even save a loved one’s life in an emergency situation.
This multi-functional app also has many everyday uses.
IcePics is an iPhone app that automatically takes a photo and emails it with the GPS map location to as many email contacts as you wish – all with one touch of the icon on the front screen of your iPhone.
While the app was designed with emergency situations in mind, users are finding a wide range of other uses for this “shoot and send” technology:
EMERGENCIES: Touching the IcePics icon from your front screen will automatically bring up the iPhone camera, snap a shot, and send this photo to a set of pre-selected email contacts. Even if your iPhone was smashed, turned off, or thrown in a lake, the photo has been sent to one or more pre-selected email recipients. The GPS location is included in the email with a link to a Google Map of the location of where the photo was taken.
“JUST IN CASE” PHOTOS: This app can be used if you find yourself in any uncomfortable situation and you suddenly think maybe you should take a photo — “just in case.” The photo can be taken without a “click” sound, so you can use it as a preventive technology. For example, if you are in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or threatened but you don’t want to insult someone by turning and snapping their picture, instead just touch the IcePics icon, hold the phone to your ear and pretend to be on a call, but aim it in the direction of the person that is making you uncomfortable (i.e.,at a campus bus stop, dorm room, the mall, etc ), then the photo can be sent silently . . . just in case. If something were to happen, IcePics could help investigators solve more crimes with hard evidence like photographs placing them at a specific location at a specific time.
The recipient(s) will then receive the following message:
An alert has been triggered from [Jane Doe’s] IcePics iPhone App.
The sender may simply be using IcePics to forward you a picture, but depending on the nature of the photo, you may want to contact the sender.
Latitude 30 1′ 5.8701″
Longitude -90 12′ 52.9959″
Note: Replies to this email will be sent to the email address configured by the user.
The intent of the note is not to alarm the recipient but just to have you covered should something happen. Some users of this app are using their own email address or that of a close friend or their spouse. If it’s a false alarm, just delete the picture, but, if someone would try to harm you in any way, you will be able to inform the perpetrator that an emergency picture was already sent. Once the perpetrator is informed by you that his/her picture has been taken and sent, they may even stop what they are doing knowing that the likelihood of them being caught just went way up!
OTHER USES: Users are also emailing IcePics support staff with a wide variety of other uses for this app besides emergency pictures. Here are just a few:
Take a photo of a piece of real estate so you have both the photo and location when you return home.
Use to keep your friends up to date on an event or your travels, in almost real time.
Use as a way to find your way back to a “For Sale” item that you are interested in.
Campus security officials advise women to “tell a friend” if they are leaving a bar or party with someone. Icepics would be an additional aid.
Use IcePics to track large inventory items that are used in the field. One person uses several bulldozers and now has a Google map of where each has been used last.
Quickly note a hunting or fishing spot with a photo of where you got that trophy.
A way to send your location when lost and or injured. For instance, some users have been lost hiking and say they always have their phone. Now if lost or injured while hiking they can send the GPS location of where they can be found – along with a photo of their injury, if needed.
If you stop and think for a moment, you will more than likely find uses that fit your lifestyle. At $2.99, it is not hard to imagine this app paying for itself if only used once for any of the above situations.