The powerful all-new reality series “Coming Home,” featuring U.S. soldiers’ surprise family reunions after serving long tours of duty on behalf of the country, pays tribute to American armed forces personnel and their families. “Coming Home” will follow the unforgettable and inspiring surprise reunions of soldiers from all five branches of the military with their spouses, children, parents and other loved ones as they return home from active duty throughout the world.
Stacy Pendarvis is a military wife and openly admits that she has “never been a good army wife” but has been steadfast and supportive of her husband Bill during his military career. Stacy announced in February that her husband, Bill “FINALLY” officially filed retirement paperwork. She does honestly say “a great soldier is ending a great run and I’m filled with pride, anticipation and excitement!
Today, Stacy posted the following thought provoking, heartfelt message on her Facebook page. I would like to share words directly from a military wife.
Let me apologize in advance but this has been bugging me for a while and I have nowhere else to say it but FB, so you get it. By now we all know I’m not the sticker sporting military wife…but lifetime is airing a show “Coming Home” tonight and I’m sure it will be a tear jerker and full of sweet moments…happy for their ratings, but….
When do we as a group of like-minded individuals, as a society in general, talk about the bad stuff happening in military families? The sad parts of deployment, the stress and trauma on those left behind, the marriages that break up, the stuff soldiers are going through from SO MANY deployments for SO LONG, and the stuff their wives are dealing with watching them deal with it…or NOT deal with it, the things the children are dealing with because their fathers are gone for years and years of their lives (and the things we’ve not even discovered yet that they will have to deal with from all of this)?????? I am so glad Bill is getting out but I still have friends saying goodbye and living with this and my heart aches for them… and when they say goodbye and cry, I cry…. who cares about the homecomings, they are so short-lived and we already know another deployment is looming. If people want to do something, do something real. Enough of this candy coated care package, say thank you stuff, it’s nice but what does it really do? what does thank you do for a closet alcoholic suffering in silence from PTSD whose life is falling apart who won’t get help? The military needs to step up their family support (mental health PREVENTION and TREATMENT, strengthening marriages and resiliency in children, etc…) We all think we’re fine… it’s an illusion for so many families. It doesn’t always end in tragic murders or abuse or even anything dramatic, although sadly too often it does…but years of separation and deployment takes it toll on kids even if we don’t see it happen oh so slowly and it probably takes its toll on the soldier and spouse as well even if they don’t have problems! If folks want to help, that’s where to do it.
Stacy’s holds a Master’s degree in Social Work and a Masters degree in Academic Psychology from East Carolina University; 15+ years experience in child/family services and child abuse prevention and has been a adjunct faculty member of Social work and Psychology at several North Carolina universities.
Thank you Stacy for allowing me to share your experience and most inner thoughts with fellow military families and with our country who really doesn’t get it in most cases. “Walk a mile in their shoes” and one will truly feel the toll that those who serve, and what spouses and children go through on a daily basis.
Take care and STAY SAFE! Blessings my friend.