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Living for Today – Erin Merryn’s Strength to Overcome and Heal

November 8, 2010 Comments off

Healing


Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn’s life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her terrible secret. It wasn’t until a traumatic series of events showed her the cost of silence that she chose to speak out-in the process destroying both her family and the last of her innocence.

Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin Merryn shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. Raw, powerful and unflinchingly honest, Stolen Innocence is the inspiring story of one girl’s struggle to become a woman, and a bright light on the pain and devastation of abuse.

Stolen Innocence is written with conviction and clarity. [Erin Merryn] doesn’t hold back, and I respect her honesty and openness…By the end of the book, I thought I was reading passages from a much older adult than a high school senior. Erin has grown into a strong, wise, intelligent, perceptive, spiritual, caring adult.”
–Susan Reedquist, The Children’s Advocacy Center

Fans of Erin Merryn’s heart-wrenching debut memoir Stolen Innocence were left wondering what would become of an emotionally fragile Erin after her confrontation with the reality and repercussions of being a child of incest and molestation. In Living for Today, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. Living for Today chronicles that journey, which began with the unearthing of private shame, releasing of ugly memories, letting go of guilt, and becoming the mouthpiece of millions of her generation.

In Living for Today, anyone who has felt victimized, ashamed, isolated, and silenced by their abusers will receive a roadmap for self-discovery, forgiveness, and empowerment. With real compassion and wisdom, this book can help readers overcome trauma and live fully and fearlessly for today.

TO PURCHASE ONE OF ERIN’S BOOKS CLICK THE LINK BELOW:

http://www.hcibooks.com/nsearch.aspx?keywords=ERIN+MERRYN

 

 

You can visit Erin’s blog by clicking below:

http://www.erinmerryn.net/

The Price Of A Life?

June 17, 2010 1 comment

The Price Of A Life?

Family and domestic violence was put on the plate of Susan Murphy-Milano the day she was born. She didn’t ask for it, it asked for her, perhaps knowing that somewhere in her soul was something that could make a difference in the way that cases of domestic violence were handled. Living and breathing it daily in her home growing up, she survived for a reason, and, in my opinion, that reason is to help the helpless, to guide those who are living in violent chaos and having a hard time making sense of their own lives. She has been doing it for over 20 years!

This year Susan Murphy-Milano wrote and published the book, Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship and laid the procedures she created and used during the last 20 years of working directly with victims of violence. Point of fact…not one woman in 20 years died while on Susan’s watch, and that alone should speak for her knowledge and expertise.

This book is even more important to Susan because it was written to be something that will be used by victims who cannot be helped by her personally. Each day hundreds of emails come into her box seeking her help. Most inquiries are those in which someone will die, the “high risk” cases of a woman living in the danger zone, reaching out desperately in the eleventh hour. Susan is only one person, and realizing that, she offers the Time’s Up book and the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit to all who need it.

After the book was launched in April, 2010 on her murdered mother’s birthday, there have been many accolades and great reviews, but that is not enough! While all the good things said and written about Time’s Up are flattering, it’s not enough to get this book into the hands of the victims who are being beaten and killed every day. This book was not written and distributed for the sake of book sales, or for flattering words, it was written for one purpose only…..to save lives.

How many celebrities have supported the issue of domestic violence and how many organizations have been built around the need to help? Thousands of people have taken to the streets to educate and bring awareness to the general public, and yet, we are seeing lives lost in epidemic proportions due to family violence. Many wonderful laws have been passed, many advocates have spoken to Congress, and every day people still look the other way. Why?

In order to get Time’s Up, and the information contained to the victim who needs it right now is a daunting task taken on by one woman with a passion and a mission to save lives. Susan Murphy-Milano is not out to become the next media darling looking for a gig on the latest news talk show, although she would definitely appear if asked, she would appear as the spokesperson for those who cannot speak for themselves because they are frozen with fear wondering how long they have to live!

Each time you read a story on the Internet of another stalking or domesticviolence related death post a comment with the link to the “Time’s Up” book and Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and Video with step-by-setp instruction in Chapter 4 for a victim to create (example of the video is below). Let others know the prescription is now available for world-wide use to every victim of stalking and domestic violence. Send an email each time to a reporter after you see a story on domestic violence and tell them about the prescription. Write the producers of news and crime shows so they mention it each time they discuss a tragic case where another woman has been murdered and the person of interest has yet to be arrested. Ask bloggers, Internet sites the drudge report, huffington post, smoking gun, mom logic or reporters, radio show personalities to consider writing a review on the information and strategies in the book. Also, if you would, leave a comment on Amazon.com.

Time’s Up’ is more than a manual, a handbook, it’s more than just another book, it’s a ‘Lifesaver,’ a surefire roadmap chocked full of ways to document evidence and protect yourself; in protecting yourself, you are also protecting your children from a life with an abuser. With your help we will eventually see a copy of ‘Time’s Up’ in every library, every police department, every school, every church and every shelter where those who need help can utilize it and protect themselves from an abuser.

Times Up” needs national exposure. It wasn’t written to impress the professionals. It was written to save lives.” Peter Hyatt, Investigator, State of Maine Statement Analysis Labratory for Scientific Interrogation.

So, what is the price for a life? What more do we need to do? All of the “yays” and “shares” and pats on the back only go so far in these two issues which are consuming many! How much do we have to pay to scream from the rooftops until people “get it?” If one missing person’s family is given the peace of mind they deserve, if one victim of a violent relationship is spared their life, is it worth it? Who are those “in charge” that can make a difference and why are they not stepping up to the plate? Is it money, fame, recognition that they want? What’s the price they are willing to pay? And why, oh why, does it have to come down to money? If it is a financial reason, then we need to talk because people are not understanding the financial price of not utilizing the solution. This solution will SAVE money and lives!!! Yes, the cure is here and now available. Spread the word about the prescription. Susan needs your help to accomplish this important milestone. Without you the victims will continue filling the cemeteries.

Call To Action: Will you choose to be a part of the solution by copying and pasting or forwarding to your social media sites, blogs and friends in order to spread the word?

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, “TIME’S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS.

“My Cry For Help” by Susan Murphy-Milano

June 15, 2010 Comments off

“My Cry For Help” by Susan Murphy-Milano

By Susan Murphy-Milano

I am posting this in hopes you will take a moment to help me.

I can jump up and down all day long and never drive the point across enough that violence in the home is the slaughter of innocent victims and their children dying at the hands of men who believe they hold the ultimate power to play God, killing and erasing human lives.

I am embarrassed to this day, although more than 20 years have passed to say how I became an expert in the issue of abuse, stalking and intimate partner homicide and officer related domestic violence. I am ashamed to have grown up in a home where the man who gave me life, a law enforcement officer, my father, regularly terrorized and beat my mother.

As a small child the only aide I could offer my mom was to pull the chair from the kitchen table up to the telephone so I could call someone for help while my father was beating my mother bloody. The moment I found my mom’s body lying in her own pool of blood dead of a single gunshot wound to the head I lost my entire world.

After my parents died I would create a world like no other. A world I knew all too well. A world under my watch a woman and her child would no longer be terrorized, beaten or living in constant fear. A world where prosecutors and law enforcement did their jobs when I took a victim’s case of stalking or domestic violence. A world where when a woman was murdered I stood with the family demanding answers and justice. A world where thousands of victim’s calls for help regardless of the hour were answered and directed to services 24/7 and are thriving because of it today. A world created because I refused to allow another like my woman like my mother to die on my watch.

Fast forward to my life today, twenty years later working towards the same goals with a mad scientist like fever to come up with the cure. A cure created to protect victims of domestic violence and stalking alive away from dangerous controlling and potentially lethal abusers. A cure that if I cannot prevent a tragedy because I am unable to be there personally directing the victim to safety at least when they are found murdered or they are reported missing by the loving husband or concerned boyfriend justice will prevail even from the grave.

Yes, the cure is here and now available. Spread the word about the prescription. I need your help to accomplish this important milestone. Without you the victims will continue filling the cemetaries.

I could ask you to do a shout-out to Oprah, Gayle King, Jane Valdez- Mitchell, Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly, Lis Wheil or Nancy Grace that may be effective if your email can get past the spam filter, providing its read and a live person responds, but that is not as powerful as your voice.

Each time you read a story on the Internet of another stalking or domestic violence related death post a comment with the link to the “Time’s Up” book and Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and Video with step-by-setp instruction in Chapter 4 for a victim to create (example of the video is below). Let others know the prescription is now available for world-wide use to every victim of stalking and domestic violence. Send an email each time to a reporter after you see a story on domestic violence and tell them about the prescription. Write the producers of news and crime shows so they mention it each time they discuss a tragic case where another woman has been murdered and the person of interest has yet to be arrested. Ask bloggers, Internet sites the drudge report, huffington post, smoking gun, mom logic or reporters, radio show personalities to consider writing a review on the information and strategies in the book. Also, if you would, leave a comment on Amazon.com.

Time’s Up’ is more than a manual, a handbook, it’s more than just another book, it’s a ‘Lifesaver,’ a surefire roadmap chocked full of ways to document evidence and protect yourself; in protecting yourself, you are also protecting your children from a life with an abuser. With your help we will eventually see a copy of ‘Time’s Up’ in every library, every police department, every school, every church and every shelter where those who need help can utilize it and protect themselves from an abuser.

Times Up” needs national exposure. It wasn’t written to impress the professionals. It was written to save lives.” Peter Hyatt, Investigator, State of Maine Statement Analysis Labratory for Scientific Interrogation.

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, “TIME’S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS

Respectfully Submitted – Cross Post from “Time’s Up!” Blog, Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Evacuation of Hope – “Time’s Up!” Blog by Susan Murphy-Milano

October 5, 2009 Comments off

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Evacuation of Hope

By Susan Murphy Milano

I was a shaken as I read the news headline last week “Domestic Violence leads to yet another death Anne Morell Petrillo. Forget for a moment that this 38 year-old woman whom committed suicide was the daughter of heiress to the Scripps newspaper fortune.

In January of 1993, the then 22 year-old Anne found her mother Anne Scripps Douglas’, 47, beaten and unconscious in the master bedroom of her New York home. Her mother never regained consciousness and died in the hospital a few days later. Anne’s step-father, a suspect, was not formally charged at the time for beating his wife to death with a hammer. He eventually committed suicide 3-months later jumping to his death from the exact same place that Anne Morell Petrillo chose to end her life.

In 1989, 5 years earlier, in Chicago, Roberta Murphy, also 47 years of age, would be discovered by her daughter, on the kitchen floor, dead with a bullet to the head. Philip Murphy a decorated violent crimes detective was in the bedroom dead of a self-inflicted gunshot to the head.

The question is, years after her mother’s murder why did Anne Morell Petrillo take her own life? Unfortunately, I know the answer.

The world expects surviving family members of homicide victims to transition the all consuming pain of loss into one of “getting on” or getting over the grief.” When a loved one dies under tragic circumstances the human mind plays the game of “if only I had gotten to the aid of that person” I could have saved them from being killed. If only I did not go out with my friends or not stopped for gas I could have somehow prevented the tragedy. A crime victim plays out the day, hour and moment leading up where the hands on the clock stopped moving to when they received the news or discovered the bloody body as if they were watching their lives while glued to a chair playing on a movie screen. The tragedy is paralyzing.

There are those who seemingly move past the grief like John Walsh whose son Adam was abducted and killed, Marc Klaas whose daughter Polly was sexually assaulted and murdered. But the truth is, they have not, instead each man has bravely channeled their energies to implement laws and hold the legal system accountable for those who prey on innocent and helpless children. Their “purpose driven life” is what allowed them to keep the grief and pain manageable, moving forward to help others.

As a society, there simply is no embrace in the aftermath of tragedy. Society dictates we all move on and as much as we try it is not possible to accomplish. Long after the lines of friends and family surround us in our darkest hour before our loved one is laid to rest, we as homicide victims are forced to proceed with our lives. Promises of remaining in contact by friends and family vanish when we attempt to talk about the tragedy or how much we miss the person. We are not invited out to dinner, nor called to see how we are doing. Instead, the survivor is pointed towards or referred to those in the mental health profession for guidance to assist them with the pain, because they too, those who knew us best prior to the tragedy, do not want to be reminded.

Twenty years have passed since the murder of my mother and suicide of my father. For me and thousands of others, each day is a constant struggle to find the hope and light that fuels our very existence.

Anne Morell Petrillo did not opt out of life because it was easy. She took her own life because society, those who initially surrounded and loved her, evacuated, taking with them the hope and light that she so desperately needed to survive.