Posts Tagged ‘Intimate partner violence’

Susan Murphy-Milano, Nationally Known Advocate and Author Has Been Called Home…

October 29, 2012 3 comments

Susan Murphy-Milano

On Sunday, October 28, 2012 when many across the country were praying for Susan Murphy-Milano to find peace and to let God bring her home, she passed through the doorway of the mansion in heaven that was prepared for her.

Is she gone from us? No way.

Susan’s work lives on in each and every victim of violence that she figured out how to save, it goes on through each case she offered her expertise that got the attention it needed to make progress, she lives on through each friend who touched her life and to whom she gave so freely. Although her shoes can never be filled, her work will continue.

All of us have a favorite memory, picture and story about Susan. Please feel free to leave your words at Conquering Cancer in the comment section.

Memorial announcements will be made for a time in the future.

……Delilah Jones

Susan Murphy-Milano

was a nonfiction author, violence expert and host of the weekly radio crime show “Time’s Up” and author of a book by the same title.  Murphy-Milano, who grew up in Chicago, lived in Surfside Beach, South Carolina.


In January 1989, Murphy-Milano’s father, 30-year veteran Detective Phillip Murphy, a decorated Chicago Police violent crimes investigator, murdered her mother, Roberta, using his service weapon, a .44 magnum, and then took his own life by shooting himself in the head.  Afterward, Murphy-Milano, who discovered her parents’ bodies, vowed to change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides were handled and investigated.  She spent her career advocating for women and child victims of domestic violence.


Murphy-Milano was a nationally known women’s advocate who lobbied for the passage of 1993’s Illinois Stalking Law  and the Lautenberg Amendment of 1996, a domestic violence offender gun ban.

Murphy-Milano authored Defending Our Lives: Getting Away From Domestic Violence & Staying Safe, published by Doubleday, and Moving Out, Moving On, which focuses on when a relationship goes wrong. Times Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships, was released by the publishing on demand publisher, Dog Ear Press in 2010.  Author and former prosecutor Robin Sax, in a review for Psychology Today, wrote about the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) included in the book.  “Murphy Milano reaches out and offers her hand — with a key (almost literally).  Thank you to Murphy-Milano for giving us … a succinct, well-written guidebook that is a must-have for anyone who is a victim or who works with victims of domestic abuse. ”

Murphay-Milano’s most recently published book, Holding My Hand Through Hell by Ice Cube Press details her life of abuse, murder, and domestic violence. “Life-affirming and thought provoking just like Susan. –Diane Fanning, New York Times Best-Selling Author.

Murphy-Milano often spoke to law enforcement, at schools and before groups advocating victims’ rights.   Also, she worked with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education.

Susan Murphy Milano was a specialist and expert in intimate partner violence and worked nationally with corporations, faith based organizations, domestic violence programs, law enforcement, and prosecutors providing technical and consulting services in high risk domestic violence and stalking related cases. Her principal objective was to intervene before a victim was seriously injured or killed. Utilizing a procedure which she devised, The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, Murphy Milano’s clients are all still alive a statistic that is remarkable considering the distinct increase in intimate partner homicides.  Document the Abuse.Com offers pertinent information for victims leaving abusive relationships.

In addition, she and her work have been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio, and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC S 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN, Sunday Today Show Profile, Women s Day, Family Circle, US News and World Report to name a few. She has frequently participated in guest media commentary panels on major and recently appeared on the A&E Biography of Drew Peterson. She is a well known radio host, regularly hosting The Susan Murphy Milano Show, Time s Up! on the Zeus Media Network, also she appeared on Crime Wire on BlogTalk Radio, and was a regular weekly co-host on the nationally syndicated The Roth Show.

Her books, Defending Our Lives; Moving Out, Moving On; Times Up!, Holding My Hand Through Hell and corresponding strategies will continue to be taught world-wide and used by law enforcement, social workers, attorneys, health care workers, human resource departments and domestic violence agencies.

Various contributors including Wikipedia 

Blessings my Sister and Friend, you will truly be missed.


My Letter to Michelle Obama by Amy J. Matthews…

October 28, 2012 1 comment

Dear Mrs. Obama:

I am writing to you today because I respect you very much, and I know how important both the issues of Domestic Violence and the right of everyone to have Affordable Health Care are to you.

I want to introduce you to an amazing woman and advocate Susan Murphy- Milano. Susan is currently dying of Cancer due to the lack of Health Insurance. Everywhere she applied for help turned her down and she was informed that she did not qualify for their services. I know you agree that there is something terribly wrong when a country as great as ours can let this happen to anyone, yet alone someone who has devoted her entire life to saving the  lives of others and without once thinking about what it could mean to her own.

Susan grew up in Chicago, the daughter of a 30-year veteran Chicago Police Detective and Violent Crimes Investigator Phillip Murphy. Susan’s father murdered her mother in 1989 and then turned the gun on himself committing suicide.  His intent was to kill his daughter as well. On the way to the house to try to save her mother something made her take an unexpected turn on the way. This decision is the only reason Susan is alive today. Had she taken her normal route Susan would not be with us now! Susan lived a life of trying to keep her mother alive her entire life and after her mother was murdered she devoted her entire life to saving others.

This most amazing woman is now on her last days after putting up a good fight. I am writing you today because I know you care. I know you care about the women and children in this country, the state of our health care, and every person’s God given human right. It is not just women and children that Susan has saved; there is no gender bias when it comes to abuses towards another.

Susan is the leading expert on Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence, and at the time when she discovered she had Cancer she was already in stage 4. This all happened just as her lifelong dreams were coming true. Susan is the women who mentored Rev. Neil Schori , Stacy Peterson’s Pastor and taught him everything he knows about Intimate Partner violence. Together they created The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit    which is a legal document that can be used in court as legal testimony even if the victim is murdered or missing.

This tragic news about Susan came just as her lifelong work was getting known. Susan was getting invitations from law enforcement agencies all over the country to come and train Law Enforcement and first responders what to look for when they answer a call, or respond to a crime scene.  She was preparing to start working at a University where she was given Carte Blanche and offered full use of the Universities resources to help her with her work. She did not apply to work at this University they came to her asking her to please come and head this project. Susan was offered her own Television Show which was scheduled to air this winter.  Again she was approached by the producers she did not seek them they sought Susan. These are just a few of the triumphs that have a major impact in the field of Intimate Partner Violence!  Susan was now in high demand all over the country. But her work was suddenly halted in its prime due to her health.

Susan had a good chance to recover had she had the treatment she needed. This is a disgrace and an embarrassment for this Country which I know you and the President both agree. I am so sorry that the President’s Health plan has been fought against and has not been put into place. This is something that may have saved not only the life of this amazing woman but could have saved countless other people both through Susan’s work and the health plan combined.

This is what Susan said when she made the announcement about her Cancer:

“My dreams and hard work are now becoming reality.
In early fall there will be a national announcement about the Intimate Partner Violence Institute with two major universities.

A national conference and training hosted by the Naperville Christian Church is scheduled for the first week of October on the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit for law enforcement, prosecutors and first responders.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit APP will be at the Apple Store on Monday July, 2, 2012.

Holding My Hand Through Hell will be released nationwide October 1, 2012.

Everything will still happen as scheduled”.

Susan Murphy Milano June 27 2012

Please check out these links and Google her name for more on Susan. I know you will love her as much as I do and as the countless women she has saved

Susan’s Cancer blog Conquering Cancer which she started to try to change the way society looks and Cancer treatment

Susan’s Main Blog  Susan Murphy Milano’s Journal to educate the public on Intimate Partner Violence

Document the Abuse website for the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit 

Susan’s latest book “Holding My Hand Through Hell” is about her life and what it was like for her growing up in an abusive home.  She wrote this book for the purpose of helping others who are living the same hell that Susan grew up living in.  After reading this book people will know why Susan is the who she is.

See Susan’s other books here

Chicago Tribune article and interview with The Rev. Neil Schori.

Listen here to Rev. Schori interview after the trial of Drew Peterson

Susan Murphy Milano and her work in Chicago. Please watch this video and you will see the great work she has done in the past!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and listen to the interviews.

I would like to invite you to the Facebook prayer page for Susan. You will be in awe of the outpouring of prayers and thoughts of people whose lives were changed just by knowing her.

God Bless you and The President for all the work that has been done and is being done to make our lives better.


Amy J. Matthews

Book Release, Susan Murphy-Milano – Holding My Hand Through Hell…

October 24, 2012 Comments off

Susan Murphy-Milano once again has gone over and beyond the call of duty in her most recent released book, Holding My Hand Through Hell.

Susan, a “Success Survivor” herself of victimization and a well known Advocate in the Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence arena takes you on the ride of her life.  Ladies and gentlemen……………HOLD ON! and get ready for the read that you will not be able to put down!

Susan has never been an open book.  She has seldom opened up, never allowing the women in crisis, her close friends nor others to see or hear the damning side of her life that existed from the time she could remember. 

It was nationally known that her father was a decorated detective in the Chicago Police Department.  He killed her mother and then himself after many years of dealing the many forms of abusive power at her mother, brother and herself.   Susan was hell bent that she was going to make a difference in our society and that she does.  Yes, her father was hidden behind the blue badge, everyone covered up for him and/or turned their cheek rather than to slap his ass in jail with charges that would have stuck.

Susan has made sure in her book, Holding My Hand Through Hell that no stone was left unturned.  This book is graphic and extremely detailed, but guess what…..domestic/intimate partner violence and child abuse is graphic, raw, ugly and nasty.  One never knows when it may rear it’s ugly head.  This book can be overwhelming at times but yet……there is inspiration throughout her life that is shared.

I have personally witnessed Susan in “crisis mode” with victims who reached out to her.  Susan is always twenty steps ahead of the assailant, compassionate but firm as she instructs the victim exactly what to do and how to get it done.  Keep in mind that no victim ever died on her watch.  When assisting in solving homicides she is always on target, she would sniff out the perp just like a K9.  Susan doesn’t ever back down, yes she walks the walk and most definitely talks the talk.  When a mission presents itself to Susan she immediately goes into survival mode.  Survival mode is what Susan has known all of her life all too well.  To witness her in this mode is simply breath taking.

Holding My Hand Through Hell also proves to us all that God is always present in our lives and Susan has proved this over and over.  God was with her through every trial and tribulation; God has a purpose for each and every one of us.  We may not understand at the time while in the pain but eventually when we realize the purpose we must act upon it and follow God’s plan.  

Susan’s Murphy-Milano‘s testimony proves that she never gave up on God, she could have but never turned her back on her spiritual Father.  In turn he has used her story to make a major difference in countless lives.


At this time Susan is slipping away from us after suffering from Stage IV cancer.

May you feel God’s loving embrace as He wraps His arms around you protecting and guiding you on your journey home.  Blessings my friend.  I love you.


Holding My Hand Through Hell is available at:

Ice Cube Press


Barnes & Noble

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Telling Amy’s Story — It’s Time to Talk

December 10, 2010 Comments off

On November 19, 2010, a 20-year-old college student named Jenni-Lyn Watson was killed while she was home in New York for Thanksgiving break. Police arrested her 21-year-old ex-boyfriend, who they say was upset about Watson’s wishes to end their relationship. Police say he had left her body in a park near her home, hidden under debris.

Jenni-Lyn’s murder is a harsh reminder of the tragic reach of intimate partner violence in the United States. It also highlights the timeliness and urgency of a documentary called Telling Amy’s Story. Produced by Penn State Broadcasting and funded by the Verizon Foundation, the film tells the story of Amy Homan-McGee, a 33-year-old mother of two who was killed by her husband in 2001 when she decided to leave him after suffering years of abuse. While Amy’s four-year-old and seven-month-old sons waited in the car with her mother, Amy entered her home to retrieve some of her belongings. Her husband, Vincent McGee, was waiting for her and fatally shot her in the head.

By laying bare one woman’s story and the many opportunities to alter its outcome, Telling Amy’s Story has the power to educate, heal, empower and — most importantly — save lives. Mariska Hargitay had the great privilege of working on the film, and it has aired on nearly 300 public television stations, reaching markets covering 85 percent of the United States population.

Liz Claiborne Inc. is also in the process of releasing data from their 2010 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll in conjunction with their groundbreaking “Its Time to Talk Day”. The survey found that 41 percent of dating freshmen and seniors have experienced violence and abusive dating behaviors in their lifetime, with more than half of those surveyed saying they have difficulty identifying what constitutes dating abuse.

These statistics from Liz Claiborne Inc., a longtime leader in the fight to end domestic violence, add important new details to what we already know: One in three women will experience physical or sexual abuse in her lifetime. More than 32 million Americans are affected by domestic violence each year. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States, with women aged 16-24 most vulnerable to intimate partner violence. And three women — women from every walk of life, women like Amy Homan-McGee — are murdered by their intimate partners every day.

Mariska learned about domestic, intimate-partner and sexual violence when she started working on Law & Order: SVU. Viewers started sending her letters: “Hi, my name is Sarah. I’m 42 years old. My husband has been beating me for seven years, and I have never told anyone.” In response to the realities these letters gave voice to, Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004.  They have helped more than 5000 survivors find healing, education and empowerment through our retreat and wellness programs, and she is so proud that Joyful Heart is part of a movement that will change the way we talk about and behave around these epidemics.

Telling Amy’s Story and Liz Claiborne’s College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll are making important, bold and timely contributions to that movement. You have the power to do the same. Become the person in your community — perhaps the first, hopefully the first among many — who knows the signs of domestic and intimate partner violence, who knows how to respond to a victim with compassion and wisdom, and who knows how participate in creating a society where perpetrators will not be allowed to abuse with impunity and without consequence.

Learn more about intimate partner violence at Find airdates for “Telling Amy’s Story” here. And, most importantly, if you or someone you know needs help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224, or go to

You have the power to save lives.

Respectfully submitted via Huffingtonpost and Actress, Mariska Hargitay

Your Daughters Deserve Assault Prevention Training

November 4, 2010 Comments off

Your Daughters Deserve Assault Prevention Training

I was walking home from school 10 months ago and I saw someone walking behind me. They kept getting closer so I started to run but fell over, the man grabbed me and pushed me into a house and raped me with his friends. I escaped and told my parents but they didn’t do anything about it…I’m just alone.

Could your daughter defend herself mentally, emotionally and/or physically if she were attacked by some thug or someone that she knows? Would she be able to incapacitate a male in order to escape his wrath?

I know, I know……gruesome thoughts but absolutely necessary.  It’s time for parents and kids to get their heads out-of-the sand and face reality.  Assaults, abuse and crime happens every single day and our daughters ARE NOT educated mentally, emotionally nor physically on how to be proactive or how to handle an attack.

As a parent you have to make sure that your daughters have the attitude to successfully send a “stay away” message loud and clear in whatever form necessary to stifle an attack. There is nothing wrong with pumping our daughters full of education, training and internal attitude.

Being a target of any assailant is a true fear many have as females are realizing more and more that victimization does not discriminate.

It goes without saying that every victim’s mind races during an assault. Will I be killed? Will he beat me more, rape me, abduct me or kill me? The level of terror and anxiety is enormous and causes most victims to sometimes act irrationally. Some freeze and become incapacitated from fright. Others instinctively resist and try to fight back. Others will run away if possible. This is what is known as the “fight or flight syndrome/response”. This fundamental physiologic response forms the foundation of modern day medicine. The “fight or flight response” is our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from a perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.


The first thirty seconds are the most critical to a victim’s survival.

What Would You Do?

Most people have never pondered this question for themselves or with their family. How would you react under similar circumstances? How would you react independent or together in your family or with friends? How you naturally react depends on many factors: your sex, age, physical condition, culture, personality, how you process information, how you react under extreme pressure, special training, skills and past experience in responding to aggression. Most people do not know for sure how they would respond to a personal crisis until it occurs. Many are surprised afterward by their behavior as having been heroic, calm, cowardly, or stupid.

Would you try to overpower your assailant? Would you try to escape and call for help? Would you comply with his demands and hope that he doesn’t hurt you? Would you allow him to tie you up? Would you allow him to take you away from your home? Would you risk death?

The response possibilities are endless, but most fall into three general response possibilities. You can resist the assault, comply with all commands; or you can try to stay calm, wait, and resist, comply, or flee as the assault evolves. One thing is clear, there is not one single correct response to a life-threatening home invasion or assault of any kind. The choice is personal, based on your own assessment of your physical and mental capabilities and your belief as to the level of eminent danger.

Sometimes fighting and screaming, especially if there are neighbors or others who will intervene or call the police. It makes no sense to risk fighting if you are physically incapable of doing so effectively. Total compliance sometimes works. The assailant might leave you unharmed and just leave. However, compliance may increase the duration of the assault and therefore increase the potential for further harm. You need to thoughtfully consider how you might act under circumstances and plan accordingly.

It has been proven that with proper education and training a victim has more of a chance of escaping or deterring a potential threat if she is educated and trained in assault prevention.

Again…….What would you do?

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Protecting Our Daughters … What Can You Do As A Parent?

November 3, 2010 2 comments

Protecting Our Daughters … What Can You Do As A Parent?

They are your babies, you cradled them in your arms when they were infants. You nurture them, support them, love them as they grow and mature and … protect them. As a parent, it is your responsibility, it’s your passion and yes it’s your JOB. The question lies before us (parents) … how do we protect them when we are physically separated from them and they from us?

How do we insure their safety in a world growing more and more insane, more unstable and more dangerous by the day? (Think of the numerous tragedies that has happened at high schools, colleges, abductions, human trafficking and more that you have seen or read about in the news.) Even when our little girls and adult daughters have graduated from high school and/or college, she will always be your child and her safety will always be at the forefront in your thoughts.

Unfortunately, females continue to deny the need for their own self-protection, relying instead on arguments that the law, spouse, brother, father, etc., should be protecting them. Statistics have indicated that the reality is that the ones expected to protect them are the majority of the ones committing the crimes. But the reality is, if they expect things to change, then they (individually) must be in control of their destiny and change.

As a parent, you owe your daughters and even yourself if you are a mom reading this post the knowledge, wisdom, the upper edge to not become a statistic. Dads it is also your responsibility to get and stayed involved, it is your JOB as well.

Often asked, “Why do you advocate that EVERY female has the absolute right to protect and defend herself?” Simple answer … “to ensure her own safety”.

Crime, victimization can happen to anyone at anytime. Whether you want to live in your fantasy world or not, this is harsh reality. At some point in your daughter’s life she will flash across an assailant’s (majority male) radar as prey. She will be attacked and/or assaulted. She will be alone and vulnerable. And most likely, it will come from the one she least expected. The next question, what will she do?

You, the parent must be the role model for your daughters. We tell our daughters that they can be anything they want. How about safe? How do we show them how to protect themselves against rape, assaults, dating violence, intimate partner violence and more if parents do not set an example of being strong and standing up for themselves by being able to defend themselves – emotionally, mentally, verbally, spiritually and ultimately physically? If parents continue to move in silence about things that happen to women (rape, assault, emotional abuse, dating violence, domestic violence) how are you going to help your daughters become stronger and show your sons what is and is not acceptable behavior from a male?

Countless females come into my speaking engagements and training sessions as sheep and walk out determined, strong and empowered who are ready to take control of their own lives. A personal safety/self-defense course does empower them; but it will educate them in showing them the options in order to take control of their lives and feel safer in their world.

Many of us in this arena refer to personal safety/self-defense as “Life Extension” insurance. Money is spent to insure our automobiles, lives, jewelry, disabilities, travel, rental property and more but yet females hesitate when spending money on a personal safety/self-defense class that can truly SAVE their lives. Women’s personal safety/self-defense classes have an incredible positive impact on participants and greatly changes lives for the better. Classes provide you with real insurance to protect your life. There is not one form of personal safety/self-defense that is 100% guaranteed but it’s better to know something rather than nothing and doing something rather than nothing.

There is one excuse, a major excuse (“It costs too much”) that is extremely frustrating to those of us in this arena. It is completely understandable that people have financial challenges. You cannot put a price tag on a life. Most classes range between $100-$200, but yet many have no problem going out and spending this amount on dinner, buying clothes, getting their hair done and the list goes on. If you knew that you or your daughter would at sometime in either of your lives would be attacked, how much would you be willing to invest in some basic personal safety/self-defense training? I would hope that your answer would be “no limit”. The problem is that people are willing to gamble with the odds of being attacked or assaulted instead of being proactive and learning personal safety/self-defense as an insurance policy.

Whenever a mother or father contacts me or enrolls their daughters in a class I immediately commend them for being proactive because the majority of people are reactive, waiting until something happens to them before learning any personal protection skills. Any victim who has been assaulted and was able to put into use what she learned in a class … ask her if what she paid to learn was too much.

If you won’t do it for yourself, how about for those who count on you the most – your daughters, your mothers, your siblings, etc.? What happens if you are now dead or incapacitated because of a crime? Who takes care of those that you took care of?

Take the time to take care of yourself and your daughters. Empower your life and your daughter’s lives – take a class. You just might surprise yourself with what you are capable of doing as well as your daughters. Allow them each to become empowered with knowledge. Knowledge is a powerful tool. The new outlook that you and/or your daughter(s) will gain will greatly improve your lives.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Dating Violence IS Rampant; It’s Time to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee…

May 10, 2010 3 comments

It’s Time to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee..

Dating violence is rampant and “It’s Time To Wake Up and Smell the Coffee” for parents, educators and females of all ages and our communities.  Get your heads out of the sand and stop thinking, “it won’t happen to me”, “my daughter is bright/smart-no one would ever harm her”.     The reality is…..anyone can be a victim and the sooner that everyone realizes this and starts to take pro-active measures and step up to educate and train our females in all respects the sooner we can make a solid attempt to stop abuse.  Education that she will have the rest of her life, SHE IS WORTHY AND DESERVES IT.  You (parents and girls) will have to take the first step to personal safety.

Yardly Love and George Hugely’s “U-VA Romance” was far from a “healthy dating relationship” as stated in an article.  The alleged muderer, Hugely has had run-ins with law enforcement and his family has admitted that he had/has “anger management issues”.  Do you honestly think that during the course of Love and Hugely’s relationship that he didn’t demonstrate “anger” in forms of emotional/verbal/mental and physical abuse (POWER AND CONTROL) toward Love?  As an Expert, I  say “OH HELL YES HE DID!”

There were signs throughout the relationship that were red flags/warning signs and most likely from the beginning.  Unfortunately and perhaps Love didn’t see or know the warning signs in order to bail before the abuse went way too far…………murder.  Yardley did not have to die to bring awareness to dating violence and abuse.  Dating violence and abuse is not new.  But education and training our females is new and absolutely necessary.

The abuse that transpired is not Love’s fault.  Love was a victim.  Who is to blame is the abuser, the system, parents, our communities, our education departments (middle schools/high schools/colleges).  Yes, I’ve said it and there’s no sugar here on this post.  We as a society have so much at our fingertips to at least attempt to cut abuse off at the chase that is not taken advantage of.  Ask yourself, why is that?

Abusers fail to see that they have a problem or issue; parents fail to see, turn their backs on the possibility that their son has an issue with anger management and the possibilities of where it may lead.  Our communities take a back seat, many don’t want to “get involved….it’s a family issue” – NO IT’S A DAMN COMMUNITY ISSUE.  We have an EPIDEMIC on our hands parents. And, your child is not surrounded by a bubble that will protect her for the rest of her life.  It is your job to provide the most available education in all areas for her in order to live a long and healthy life.

As for school systems…..well, it time for looking outside of the box and to make a decision.  Not one  school is sterile whereas dating violence is not happening in the halls, in the parking lots, dorms rooms, or campus apartments and even homes. Educators…it is your job to get involved.  Promote to educate our youth, females and males about all of the above.  And, take a step further EVERYONE………..GET THE FEMALES TRAINED IN ALL ASPECTS OF PERSONAL SAFETY.  Implement the training into their daily lives, it’s never too late.  Education that they will have forever just like math, english and driver’s ed.

A female does not have to take a “martial arts class”  years upon years to learn how to protect and defend herself.  Learning AWARENESS is the FIRST STEP OF ANY FORM OF SELF-DEFENSE.  However, we have to educate about awareness, introduce intuition and how to embrace it, safety tips as well as how they can use their bodies to protect and defend themselves “REALISTICALLY” if they should ever encounter a physical altercation.  This education is readily available to our young people and  it’s high time to make it happen.

Too many women are dying at the hands of their abusers and TIME’S UP……….the cycle of violence must be stopped. A female can be educated to heighten her awareness whereas all of her senses come to full alert. What is the difference between an healthy and unhealthy relationship.  Males must be educated as well by men who take a stance in the arena of Men Against Violence.

The type of ignorance that is demonstrated in our homes, schools and media serves no  justice for the victims that fall prey to any type of abuse.   In reality the topic of Domestic Violence, Dating Violence, Abuse, Stalking, Rape, etc. are NOT WARM AND FUZZY TOPICS that many wish to speak about.  Well……….it high time that WE START!  And, parents……… all starts with you.

As an Expert I ask you this………..”How much is your daughter’s life worth?” Harsh but true.  Parents take action, it’s your J-O-B – trust me.

Please do not allow your daughter to become a statistic.  Let’s work together to bring safety and awareness to our young people – don’t they deserve it?

Keeping Yardley, her family and friends in our thoughts and prayers.

Washington Post’s “Heartbreaking Headline” is Disturbing by Susan Murphy-Milano…

May 10, 2010 1 comment

Washington Post’s “Heartbreaking Headline” is Disturbing

Repost from Susan Murphy-Milano Journal

The headline in the Washington Post, ” HEARTHBREAKING FINISH FOR U-VA ROMANCE,” continue, in my opinion, an ignorant yet sweeping trend in reporting these tragic crimes. Instead of sugar coating a headline that brings readers to the Internet or sell newspapers why not call it out for what this horriffic tragedy is, “Intimate Violence Murder Takes The Life of College Student,” or do a follow-up as True Crime Writer Kathryn Casey wrote titled “Okay Girls-Time-To-Listen Up.”

I realize that does not send loyal readers running to the headline in fact it is likely tomake intelligent subscribers ignore the story and head over to the lesuire section of the newspaper. And it also does not do much for parents sending their children off to college at a large university. Anyway you look at it it is about the all mighty dollar.

Lets face it Domestic ,Violence and Stalking related deaths do not sell newspapers. The subject matter is not attractive and it only perpetuates the myth that intitmateviolence is between two people and they should somehow work it work between themselves. I have a news flash for you; it obviously did not work for Yeardly Love, who, in my expert opinion, did not have to die. Nor does the fact that colleges polices and the hour of student orientation they receive upon entering college on sexual assualt and campus crimes do little more than protect a university from lawsuits because they have passed out to the new students written mumbo jumbo from information copied off aDepartment of Justice website or newsletter and called it “information you can use to be safe.” Obviously, it did not work for Yeardly Love or those we do not even hear about who are silenced on college campuses across the county.

It is a silent yet known fact that University police are not trained adequetly in sexual assualt and domestic violence crimes. And, yes, folks, they are crimes!

An example of another tragic case is a book written way back in 1995 by Washington Post pultizer prize winning journalist George Lardner titledm “The Stalking of Kristin,” about a promising young art student who was killed by a jealous ex-boyfriend while attending college. Kristin Lardner did everything right. She was educated and sophisticated, and had the time and resources to make the law work for her. And she was a member of the class of people who believe the law when it promises to protect them. With a parent’s rage, and an impressive command of the facts and statistics, George Lardner refutes the widespread belief that the courts offer effective protection to battered women who do report their abusers and press charges. The book includes photos of Kristin’s artwork about abuse of women and 80 pages of footnotes and bibliography about the legal system. Unfortunately, this book needs to be part of every college campus and law school is no longer in print. I thought about George Lardner, whom I met while on book tour of my first published work, “Defending Our Lives, Getting Away from Domestic Violence and Staying Safe.” [published by Doubleday Books]

I am sure, if asked of the father of Kristin , George Lardner, “what has changed in the legal system since the murder of his daughter 18 years ago?”: his response would likely be “nothing has changed.”

Maybe the Washington Post will do a story or review on the book “Time’s Up A Guide on How to LLeave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships.” It may not grab new subscribers to the Washington Post, but it will save lives!