Posts Tagged ‘Intimate Partner Homicide’

“Coming Home” on Lifetime…

March 6, 2011 6 comments

The powerful all-new reality series “Coming Home,” featuring U.S. soldiers’ surprise family reunions after serving long tours of duty on behalf of the country, pays tribute to American armed forces personnel and their families. “Coming Home” will follow the unforgettable and inspiring surprise reunions of soldiers from all five branches of the military with their spouses, children, parents and other loved ones as they return home from active duty throughout the world.

Stacy Pendarvis  is a military wife and openly admits that she has “never been a good army wife” but has been steadfast and supportive of her husband Bill during his military career.  Stacy announced in February that her husband, Bill “FINALLY” officially filed retirement paperwork.  She does honestly say “a great soldier is ending a great run and I’m filled with pride, anticipation and excitement!

Today, Stacy posted the following thought provoking, heartfelt message on her Facebook page.  I would like to share words directly from a military wife.

Let me apologize in advance but this has been bugging me for a while and I have nowhere else to say it but FB, so you get it.   By now we all know I’m not the sticker sporting military wife…but lifetime is airing a show  “Coming Home” tonight and I’m sure it will be a tear jerker and full of sweet moments…happy for their ratings, but….

When do we as a group of like-minded individuals, as a society in general, talk about the bad stuff happening in military families? The sad parts of deployment, the stress and trauma on those left behind, the marriages that break up, the stuff soldiers are going through from SO MANY deployments for SO LONG, and the stuff their wives are dealing with watching them deal with it…or NOT deal with it, the things the children are dealing with because their fathers are gone for years and years of their lives (and the things we’ve not even discovered yet that they will have to deal with from all of this)?????? I am so glad Bill is getting out but I still have friends saying goodbye and living with this and my heart aches for them… and when they say goodbye and cry, I cry…. who cares about the homecomings, they are so short-lived and we already know another deployment is looming. If people want to do something, do something real. Enough of this candy coated care package, say thank you stuff, it’s nice but what does it really do? what does thank you do for a closet alcoholic suffering in silence from PTSD whose life is falling apart who won’t get help? The military needs to step up their family support (mental health PREVENTION and TREATMENT, strengthening marriages and resiliency in children, etc…) We all think we’re fine… it’s an illusion for so many families. It doesn’t always end in tragic murders or abuse or even anything dramatic, although sadly too often it does…but years of separation and deployment takes it toll on kids even if we don’t see it happen oh so slowly and it probably takes its toll on the soldier and spouse as well even if they don’t have problems! If folks want to help, that’s where to do it.

Stacy’s holds a Master’s degree in Social Work and a Masters degree in Academic Psychology from East Carolina University; 15+ years experience in child/family services and child abuse prevention and has been a adjunct faculty member of Social work and Psychology at several North Carolina universities.

Thank you Stacy for allowing me to share your experience and most inner thoughts with fellow military families and with our country who really doesn’t get it in most cases.  “Walk a mile in their shoes” and one will truly feel the toll that those who serve, and what spouses and children go through on a daily basis.

Take care and STAY SAFE!  Blessings my friend.

Showcasing an Alleged Murderer?…Drew Peterson

August 23, 2010 Comments off

Showcasing an Alleged Murderer?…Drew Peterson

Susan Murphy-Milano is on the heels of The Chicago Sun-Times and rightfully so.  Since when are prisoners allowed to be “showcased” (definition – a setting in which anything may be displayed to BEST ADVANTAGE/BEST EFFECT)?

Last week the paper, Chicago Sun-Times ran a two-part series of a letter from former Sergeant and alleged murder, Drew Peterson.  The first headline ran on August 15th, “The Drew Peterson Letter My Life in Jail” and  on August 16th, “Drew Peterson-Not Easy Being A National Pastime“.  And, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Michael Sneed was able to run them on the front page!

Drew Peterson was arrested in May of 2009 for the alleged murder of his third wife, Kathleen Savio in 2004 as well as the fact that his fourth wife, Stacy Peterson is still missing.

In her blog, Murphy-Milano Journal, Murphy-Milano is hitting home runs as she digs her cleats in as she stands up for justice to be served for the women that Peterson is accused of harming.

It is purely outrageous to give any type of attention to an accused murderer. What was the purpose?  A selling tactic?  It is appalling that any attention would be granted or even considered; however, what about equal playing time?  What about giving Kathleen and Stacy equal acknowledging – they were the victims and should be thought of first and foremost.  Even if others won’t, Susan will do it herself.

And, furthermore what message is being sent to abusers and assailants by endorsing and publishing Peterson’s garbage?  From my account and other Advocates, the message is loud and clear – “the lives of victims of intimate partner homicide do not matter in Illinois and across the country”.

Susan Murphy-Milano is a noted expert in the field of domestic and family violence, Intimate Partner Homicide, and officer involved domestic violence, not only through a heart to help victims, but from her own personal life experiences.  She has written three books on how to safely leave a violent relationship, which include methods she has used over the last 20 years of her service to victims, saving countless lives.

Her latest book, “Time’s Up,” includes a unique method, the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, outlined in Chapter 4, which is a series of signed and notarized documents, along with video testimony, that will stand up against the Crawford v Washington ruling in courts across America. Victims who have been lethally harmed will have a voice against their abuser, as in the cases of both Kathleen Savio and Stacy Peterson.

Be sure to check in on Murphy-Milano’s Journal for the series on Peterson’s letters from jail.

Also, please realize the importance of leaving your comments/feelings on Susan’s blog.  When we outwardly join forces there is a loud impact indicating communities are coming together.

Thank you!


Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation: McCollum & Murphy-Milano Team Up

July 12, 2010 Comments off

Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation: McCollum & Murphy-Milano Team Up

Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation

Sheryl McCollum, Director of Cold Case Investigative Research Institute and Susan Murphy-Milano, Violence Expert and Author have joined forces to bring new eyes to cases of intimate partner homicide.

July 9, 2010…..DNA equals DOA (dead on arrival) with respect to intimate partner homicide crimes. There is no voice or face, instead victim’s lives result in filling headstones and cemeteries;  placed in the “unimportant” category box. Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation gives these cases a front and center seat instead of a back door crime occurring behind closed doors.

McCollum and Murphy-Milano are working proactively to reduce the number of deaths through several channels, saving not only lives, but taxpayer dollars, and utilizing unique procedures gleaned from their years of working on high risk and high profile cases.  Combining their experience will help bring new possibilities and new clues to law enforcement agencies and prosecutors across the country.

One way the team will facilitate awareness of current and cold cases is through media outlets, continuing education workshops, and speaking tours.  Another, more immediate program for engaging the public is the debut of an internet based radio show, “Intimate Partner Homicide Investigations” hosted by McCollum and Murphy-Milano and sponsored by the interactive website, “Websleuths.”  With combined resources, this partnership promises to bring a different perspective to open cases and cold cases involving homicide, missing persons and domestic violence related deaths. The new show debuts Monday, July 12 at 9pm Eastern time on BlogTalk Radio.

Murphy-Milano says, “We are proud to announce our new show, “Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation,” profiling unsolved murders, suspicious deaths and missing persons, those in the middle of a relationship break-up or divorce who suddenly vanished without a trace.”

The show will highlight, investigate and encourage anyone with information to contact either law enforcement agencies or Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation with the goal of finding answers.

For more information: