- Paperback: 286 pages
- Publisher: Ice Cube Press
- ISBN#: 978-1888160673
- Foreword by Diane Fanning, Award winning true crime author of Mommy’s Little Girl
This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer’s family and a daughter’s quest for justice long after the heart-wrenching murder of her mother. Susan Murphy Milano embraces a legacy of unconditional love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.
Based on a true story, told with the flow of a novel, spiced with frank wisdom and with, Holding My Hand Through Hell encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family s life and is an inspiration to become an advocate for change in this world we all share.
Holding My Hand Through Hell will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers both applauding this woman as well as wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour. Twenty years later, she has realized that God must have been holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.
“Raw and riveting Holding My Hand Through Hell starts fast and never lets up. In this powerful memoir, author Susan Murphy Milano throws open her personal closet so that we see what drives this woman to tirelessly champion voiceless victims and the people who love them”…… Steve Jackson, NY Times best-selling author.
About Susan Murphy-Milano
SUSAN MURPHY MILANO is a specialist in intimate partner violence and works nationally with domestic violence programs, law enforcement and prosecutors providing technical and consulting services in “high risk” domestic violence and stalking related cases. Her principal objective is to intervene before a victim is seriously injured or killed. Utilizing a procedure which she devised, the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit© Murphy Milano’s clients are all still alive.
SUSAN MURPHY MILANO is the author of DEFENDING OUR LIVES (Doubleday 1996), MOVING OUT, MOVING ON (Kind Living Press 2008), and TIME’S UP (Dog Ear Publishing 2010) which guide those in abusive relationships to a place of freedom and safety.
Susan’s quest for justice was instrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lauternberg Act. She has been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC’S 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN, Sunday Today Show Profile, Women’s Day, Family Circle, US News and World Report to name only a few. She has frequently participated in guest media commentary panels on major news programs.
To learn more about Susan and her work, please visit the following sites:
Holding My Hand Through Hell
Book Tour Stops:
Thursday, October 4: Official Launch from Heartland Fall Forum with Jillian Maas Backman and Ice Cube Press Publisher, Steve Semken on radio show, Change Already!
Friday, October 5: Writing is a Crime, Diane Fanning (wrote the foreword)
Saturday, October 6: Shattered Lives with Donna R. Gore LISTEN LIVE
Monday, October 8: Truth, Justice, and All-American Allergen-Free Apple Pie, Heidi Hiatt
Tuesday, October 9: NeilSchori.Com Pastor Neil Schori
Wednesday, October 10: Losing Austin, Finding Myself, Anita Sullivan
Thursday, October 11: Safe Relationships Magazine, Sandra L. Brown, MA
Friday, October 12: Statement Analysis: Peter Hyatt
Tuesday, October 16: Crime Wire with Dennis Griffin LISTEN LIVE
Wednesday, October 17: Justice Cafe
Thursday, October 18: Danielle Pierre
Friday, October 19: Washington Times, Paula Carrasquillo
Monday, October 22: PamelaChapman.Biz Pamela Chapman
Tuesday, October 23: The Roth Show Blog, Dr. Laurie Roth
Wednesday, October 24: AnnyJacoby.Com, Anny Jacoby
Friday, October 26: Doc Bonn Blog, Dr. Scott Bonn
Monday, October 29: Cynthia Caron
Tuesday, October 30: DonnaGore.Com, Donna R. Gore “LadyJustice”
Thursday, November 1: Crime, She Writes, Cathy Scott
Friday, November 2: BurlBarer.Net, Burl Barer
Monday, November 5: Survivors Justice, Patricia McKnight
Despite the significant progress made in reducing violence against women, young women continue to face the highest rates of dating violence and sexual assault. In the last year, one in 10 teens has reported being physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend. One in five young women has been sexually assaulted while in college. In response to these alarming statistics, Vice President Biden launched the 1 is 2 many campaign last year. This campaign focuses his longstanding commitment to reducing violence against women specifically on teens and young women ages 16-24. By targeting the importance of changing attitudes that lead to violence, and educating the public on the realities of abuse, the Obama Administration is leading the way to stop violence against women before it begins.
President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden join with Eli Manning, Jeremy Lin, Jimmy Rollins, Evan Longoria, David Beckham, Joe Torre and Andy Katz in this PSA to raise awareness about dating violence.
Thank you to all of the participants in the video for sending a loud message that must be heard by all.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
As Domestic Violence Awareness Month begins I have been thinking of what awareness means to our families, friends and communities.
For hotline and court advocates who respond to crisis calls and provide ongoing support to victims, awareness means seeing the pain that family violence creates for those caught in its grip, as well as celebrating the courage it takes for individuals to rebuild their lives and regain the sense of self after enduring emotional or physical abuse from a loved one. For many community members, awareness may mean seeing friends or family members struggle with this issue now or from the past and getting information about how to help them. For young people it may mean learning about what to expect in a healthy intimate relationship through programs such as “Save the Date” or other programs being offered. Communities and Advocates all around are working diligently to bring awareness of and to prevent and end domestic violence.
The message of advocacy and awareness deserves a wider audience as there is a mix of responses to the epidemic. Those who interact and support the cause know the importance of the work that is being done and are committed to helping organizations continue to provide high quality free services in English and Spanish. Unfortunately, many people are unclear about who the domestic violence agencies are, where they are and what they do. Domestic violence awareness extends beyond the specific month designated for this purpose.
Ways for you to contribute and get involved are:
- Let your friends and businesses you patronize know what Domestic Violence is, who and what the agency in your community are and what they do. Thank those who support your local agency.
- Involve your church or favorite civic group in this work through an educational or fundraising event.
- Make your voice heard in the local media and at election time to advocate for resources for survivors and supportive legislation.
- Stop by your local Domestic Violence agency and meet their wonderful staff.
- Volunteer your time or resources to help support community education, office or hotline needs.
- Serve on a board committee to help with events, fundraising and other activities.
It is imperative that we work together toward the effort, explore ways that we can work together to make our families and communities more peaceful and nurturing for everyone.
I extend many thanks to all who give their time, knowledge and spirit to this work and mission.
Check out (Google them if necessary) events in your community and consider attending:
Take Back The Night
(an international rally and march that is organized in local communities with the purpose of unifying women, men, and children in an awareness of violence against women, children and families.
Beards BeCAUSE – Clean Shaven Party
Beards BeCAUSE is a unique, fun, and successful fundraiser while raising awareness about the issue of domestic violence and making a positive impact and contribution to United Family Services – Shelter For Battered Women
Annual Candlelight Vigil & Memorial
Honoring statewide DV-related homicide victims this past year
Domestic Violence is a Men’s Issue
Join other men (and women) step up to take a pledge turning the tide against violence of women and girls.
Change is Gonna Come
Screening & Community dialogue – this event will screen a play performed at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, DC written by Vickie Evans capturing domestic violence in the church. An open community dialogue will follow.
Check out DV Awareness Project for ideas on DVAM events & resources.
The North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence statewide theme for North Carolina’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month is “Domestic Violence Affects Everyone: Everyone Can Make A Difference” North Carolina calendar of events
Presidential Proclamation — National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2012
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, 2012
– – – – – – –
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
For far too long, domestic violence was ignored or treated as a private matter where victims were left to suffer in silence without hope of intervention. As we mark the 18th anniversary of the landmark Violence Against Women Act, authored by Vice President Joe Biden, we reflect on how far we have come. We have made significant progress in changing laws and attitudes, providing support to survivors, and reducing the incidence of domestic violence. But we also know that we have not come far enough, and that there is more work left to be done. During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we stand with all those who have been affected by this terrible crime, recognize the individuals and groups who have stepped forward to break the cycle of violence, and recommit to putting an end to domestic violence in America.
Despite considerable progress in reducing domestic violence, an average of three women in the United States lose their lives every day as a result of these unconscionable acts. And while women between the ages of 16 and 24 are among the most vulnerable to intimate partner violence, domestic violence affects people regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race, or religion. Tragically, without intervention, children exposed to such violence can suffer serious long-term consequences that may include difficulty in school, post-traumatic disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, and criminal behavior.
My Administration remains committed to getting victims the help they need, from emergency shelter and legal assistance to transitional housing and services for children. We are also working to stop violence before it starts. Last year, agencies across the Federal Government held town hall meetings nationwide to promote men’s roles in ending violence against women. Through Vice President Biden’s 1is2many initiative, we built on that progress earlier this year by releasing a public service announcement that features professional athletes and other role models speaking out against dating violence. This April, I directed leaders throughout my Administration to increase efforts to prevent and combat domestic violence involving Federal employees and address its effects on the Federal workforce. Since August, the Affordable Care Act has required most insurance plans to make domestic violence screening and counseling available as a preventive service for women — without co-payments, deductibles, or other cost-sharing. And most recently, we developed a new initiative to reduce domestic violence homicides through high risk screening and linking victims with services. Moreover, my Administration looks forward to working with the Congress to strengthen and reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.
While government must do its part, all Americans can play a role in ending domestic violence. Each of us can promote healthy relationships, speak out when we see injustice in our communities, stand with survivors we know, and change attitudes that perpetuate the cycle of abuse. We must also ensure that survivors of domestic violence know they are not alone, and that there are resources available to them. I encourage victims, their loved ones, and concerned citizens to learn more by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE, or by visiting www.TheHotline.org.
This month, let us renew our efforts to support victims of domestic violence in their time of greatest need, and to realize an America where no one lives in fear because they feel unsafe in their own home.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 2012 as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I call on all Americans to speak out against domestic violence and support local efforts to assist victims of these crimes in finding the help and healing they need.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand twelve, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-seventh.
A Victim’s safety always needs to come first and foremost.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
UNC students are on alert, about an attack on a female student.
Chapel Hill Police say they’re looking for a suspect described as “a college-aged white male.”
The police say they got the report Saturday afternoon, and the victim says she was sexually assaulted in the early morning, off, but near the school grounds.
All the students we talked to had already gotten the message about the possible threat.
Nisha Walton read the warning to us, off her cell phone. She and other U.N.C. students got the warning from the school’s “Alert Carolina” about the sexual assault of a female student.
Walton said, “Most of the alerts that I have gotten have been concerning sexual assault on females. I wouldn’t say it’s something that’s common on campus, it’s usually off campus.”
Police say this most recent one also happened off campus, at a nearby home.
On Sunday, Chapel Hill Police patrolled the downtown area close to the school.
Students say they’ve learned it’s best to travel together to stay safe. Walton said, “I usually do group activities on campus, and not go somewhere when it’s like late at night or early in the morning, cause there was an incident when a girl was running and some guy tried to attack her.”
Male students say they’re worried too. Student Reddy says he also got the email saying a woman had been sexually assaulted.
Reddy said, “I am concerned, yeah campus safety is a problem, but I think the campus does have a lot of safety measures in place. And I think they do a good job for the most part. But incidents like these are problematic.”
The students praise the school for keeping them in the loop, even in cases where crime happens off- campus.
Shelby Rawlins, a UNC student , said, “I definitely think that they have to do, they have to be extra cautious. So I think that’s why they put out the email, but I definitely feel, like I feel safe enough.”
We’ve asked Chapel Hill Police for a copy of the incident report, and will release more information as we get it. Police ask people who know anything about the alleged crime to call Crimestoppers at (919) 942-7515.
Meanwhile, UNC is asking its students to keep watching the “Alert Carolina” website for updates. That website is alertcarolina.unc.edu.
UNC-Chapel Hill sent out the alert Saturday warning of a sexual assault reported near campus.
The alert said Chapel Hill police were investigating a report from a female student that she’d been assaulted in a residence near campus in the early morning hours Saturday.
The suspect was described only as a college age white male.
Chapel Hill police Sunday declined to provide any more details.
The campus alert said UNC police were asking anyone with information to call 911 or contact the Chapel Hill-Carrboro-UNC CrimeStoppers at (919) 942-7515. Information can also be submitted online at http://www.crimestoppers-chcunc.org.
A week ago, UNC lost a fellow student, Faith Danielle Hedgepath:
Chapel Hill Police are investigating the death of a UNC student identified as Faith Danielle Hedgepeth, and at this time they are treating the incident as a homicide.
“Police received a call after the victim was discovered in her residence at 5639 Old Chapel Hill Road, which is the Hawthorne on the Hill apartment complex. Friends contacted police after they located the deceased around 11 a.m,” said Lieutenant Kevin Gunter. “At this point police do not believe this was a random act.”
Hedgepeth was a biology major from Warrenton, N.C, and a waitress at the Red Robin in Durham. She died just three weeks away from her 20th birthday.
WCHL’s Ran Northam was on the scene Friday afternoon and spoke to residents of the Hawthorne on the View Apartments. UNC staff member Dustin Bray returned home from work to find his apartment building inaccessible.
“I just got home and I guess there’s something going on here. I can’t get into my apartment right now,” said Bray.
Bray lives in the 1500 building where the incident took place.
He says he didn’t know anyone in the building but is concerned for his safety and if it is a murder, he says he will leave.
“I don’t know if I can do that or not, but I will break my lease if there’s something like that happening here. I’m moving out. I’m not going to deal with that. It’s right next to my apartment. I will leave.”
Christine Shia resides in the 1400 building which is directly across from where the incident occurred. She says she didn’t know the residents of the unit police were investigating but she says maintenance workers were there working on the unit recently.
Shia says she often saw people out and about, but didn’t know anyone by name.
“Everybody is pretty quiet over there- definitely students,” said Shia.
The apartment complex had not released any information to residents as of 4:45 p.m. Friday.
Faith’s homicide records have been sealed.
Chapel Hill police have ruled out a self-inflicted or accidental death in the case of UNC student Faith Danielle Hedgepeth — though they have yet to release new details about the homicide investigation.
On Monday, a Durham County Superior Courtjudge sealed several documents pertaining to the case at the request of Chapel Hill police.
Sgt. Josh Mecimore, spokesman for the Chapel Hill Police Department, said the judge sealed multiple search warrants and the 911 call alerting police that Hedgepeth’s body had been found.
As of Tuesday, an autopsy had not been completed. But Mecimore said the preliminary autopsy results — which would likely determine a cause of death in the case — are not public under state law.
Mecimore said police requested the documents be sealed to protect the integrity of the investigation.
“There are a lot of details that only someone involved would know, outside of our investigators,” he said.
“It’s useful in interviewing folks to not have the general public know those details,” he said. “It could compromise our investigation.”
Frank LoMonte, executive director of the Student Press Law Center, said sealing several entire documents — especially 911 calls — is unusual in most cases. “The law recognizes in very narrow circumstances that it’s OK to seal records,” LoMonte said. “That doesn’t justify a blanket sealing.”
Chapel Hill police have said they don’t believe the slaying was random or that the community faces a threat.
But as of Tuesday night, no arrests or suspects had been announced in the case. A cause of death also has not been released.
Chapel Hill police set up a tip line for people to provide information related to Hedgepeth’s death, and Mecimore said they are investigating leads .
LoMonte said police often benefit from releasing information about investigations.
“When you have an unsolved murder, there’s definitely a duty for either the police to either warn people or reassure people,” LoMonte said.
“You don’t want people to dangle in uncertainty.”
Raleigh attorney Hugh Stevens, of the firm Stevens Martin Vaughn and Tadych, which has represented The Daily Tar Heel in court, said sealing documents in cases like these is not unusual.
“We’ve seen it with some regularity in high profile homicide cases,” Stevens said.
“Generally speaking, the justification is that releasing information impedes investigation into finding the perpetrator.”
Chapel Hill police and Orange County District Attorney Jim Woodall also had several documents — including search warrants and an autopsy report — sealed after the murder of Student Body President Eve Carson in 2008.
“Sometimes it’s very much justified depending on the facts, but you don’t know the facts because it’s sealed,” Stevens said.
Via Daily Tarheel
Take care and STAY SAFE!
An Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is the mastermind process of domestic violence expert Susan Murphy Milano that combines video taping of the victims actual words attesting to the abuse coupled with creative witnessed and notarized legal documents that successfully satisfy legal hurdles often faced in these intimate partner violence and stalking cases. Susan has worked countless hours to move mountains in the way an abuse situation is handled.It combines past history of abuse, testimony,documentation, and evidence in a all in one video to support your statements of abuse as well as satisfy the courts.
The EAA was born out of the Stacey Peterson case. It was created to make sure if you disappear your fears and words do not. Stacey’s case reminds us we need the words of the victim otherwise even if everyone knows it is the abuser they get away with it. Proof is needed. Murphy-Milano says, “Had either Kathleen Savio or Stacy Peterson prepared an EAA, there would be no question of a prompt arrest. The EAA also gives law enforcement and investigators information about the alleged perpetrator allowing the victim to speak from the grave on her own behalf, should that be necessary. Think of the millions saved in taxpayer dollars!”
Susan has worked with prosecutors and victims all over the world. Since her creation not one of the people she has worked with has been killed. That in itself is a miracle since the U.S. Surgeon general finds domestic violence as the leading cause of health problems in our country. One in every three women will be victimized.
The EAA is easy to use, very detailed and walks the victim through the steps needed to cross any line drawn in prosecutions case. It contains the evidence and statements necessary to prosecute should the victim be harmed.
Until now the response when you are abused has been:
- victims are told to report (but action is only taken if you can show evidence of the abuse).
- Victims are told to go to a shelter.
- Victims are told to get a restraining order (but usually only granted if there is evidence of the abuse)
- Victims are told to move away (but leaving behind careers, family, and assets).
- Victims are told to stay with someone else.
- Victims are told stalking is hard to prove and stalking laws are often weak and poorly defined.
Now the solution is at your hands easily downloaded and process detailed. The EAA is now available on Apple products for download. It is simple, and I tried it myself. With the ease of an App, a victim can download the app and be guided through the process of creating the E.A.A. on a Smart Phone. Any Smart Phone with a camera will be able to video tape the recorded testimony of her abuse experiences. The person will simply fill out the E.A.A. documentation pages, and the pages will be notarized and instructions for where the completed documents are sent will direct the victim through the completion process. Utilizing cloud technology, the E.A.A. is stored safely in a forensically secured database.
It was released on July 4th, 2012. How fitting the day for freedom is the day the app becomes available. After 20 years of working on Intimate partner violence she sees her dream come true.All information on the EAA can be found on Susan’s website at: www.documenttheabuse.com. Please check out her latest book now available by download, Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Safely Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationships. Susan Murphy Milano is a true hero to millions and her newest creation can and will save lives. If you are in dangerous situation call local authorities and seek help. Always document everything. It can change the outcome.
This is an example of an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit for individuals who perceive they are at risk. By creating a file like this and giving it to specific people, any later events could be answered. A video like this could solve a crime later on. For more information visit Susan’s website.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Contributed by Examiner.com in part
Thank you Amy Matthews for creating the beautiful video!
Susan Murphy-Milano is a leader in the field of Intimate Partner Violence and is now fighting 4th stage Cancer. She has dedicated her life to fighting for change in how the world looks at and treats Domestic Violence in this country, and now to change how the world looks at and treats Cancer. She is also fighting for justice in the world of Health Care for every individual in this country.
To learn more please visit
Amy’s Message to Susan
Susan you are without a doubt one of the most amazing women I know of, and definitely the most amazing women I have had the pleasure of knowing personally. Every one of us wants to feel like we have made a difference in the life of another. I have always said if I can make the difference in even one person’s life then I will be happy. Susan you have made a tremendous difference not just for the women you’ve helped through the years, the women you are aware of, but the many countless women you don’t know about, and it’s only just the beginning. You will continue to change the lives of people all over this country, as well and around the world, from this day forward.
What you have done is started a revolution. You have changed the way that intimate partner violence is viewed and addressed. You brought life and hope to what seemed a hopeless situation.
Everyone wonders what their purpose in life is, and many will never know the answer while they are still on this Earth. That makes you very lucky because you know what your purpose is, and you have seen with your own eyes the good you have done and will continue to do.
The fights not over for the cause or for you! So don’t ever give up, the world is certainly not giving up on you or anything you stand for.
We are here for you now and we will continue the battle and when we are gone there will be others and when they are gone there will be more until this battle is won!
Amy J. Matthews