Posts Tagged ‘Gavin De Becker’

Your Daughters Deserve Assault Prevention Training

November 4, 2010 Comments off

Your Daughters Deserve Assault Prevention Training

I was walking home from school 10 months ago and I saw someone walking behind me. They kept getting closer so I started to run but fell over, the man grabbed me and pushed me into a house and raped me with his friends. I escaped and told my parents but they didn’t do anything about it…I’m just alone.

Could your daughter defend herself mentally, emotionally and/or physically if she were attacked by some thug or someone that she knows? Would she be able to incapacitate a male in order to escape his wrath?

I know, I know……gruesome thoughts but absolutely necessary.  It’s time for parents and kids to get their heads out-of-the sand and face reality.  Assaults, abuse and crime happens every single day and our daughters ARE NOT educated mentally, emotionally nor physically on how to be proactive or how to handle an attack.

As a parent you have to make sure that your daughters have the attitude to successfully send a “stay away” message loud and clear in whatever form necessary to stifle an attack. There is nothing wrong with pumping our daughters full of education, training and internal attitude.

Being a target of any assailant is a true fear many have as females are realizing more and more that victimization does not discriminate.

It goes without saying that every victim’s mind races during an assault. Will I be killed? Will he beat me more, rape me, abduct me or kill me? The level of terror and anxiety is enormous and causes most victims to sometimes act irrationally. Some freeze and become incapacitated from fright. Others instinctively resist and try to fight back. Others will run away if possible. This is what is known as the “fight or flight syndrome/response”. This fundamental physiologic response forms the foundation of modern day medicine. The “fight or flight response” is our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from a perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.


The first thirty seconds are the most critical to a victim’s survival.

What Would You Do?

Most people have never pondered this question for themselves or with their family. How would you react under similar circumstances? How would you react independent or together in your family or with friends? How you naturally react depends on many factors: your sex, age, physical condition, culture, personality, how you process information, how you react under extreme pressure, special training, skills and past experience in responding to aggression. Most people do not know for sure how they would respond to a personal crisis until it occurs. Many are surprised afterward by their behavior as having been heroic, calm, cowardly, or stupid.

Would you try to overpower your assailant? Would you try to escape and call for help? Would you comply with his demands and hope that he doesn’t hurt you? Would you allow him to tie you up? Would you allow him to take you away from your home? Would you risk death?

The response possibilities are endless, but most fall into three general response possibilities. You can resist the assault, comply with all commands; or you can try to stay calm, wait, and resist, comply, or flee as the assault evolves. One thing is clear, there is not one single correct response to a life-threatening home invasion or assault of any kind. The choice is personal, based on your own assessment of your physical and mental capabilities and your belief as to the level of eminent danger.

Sometimes fighting and screaming, especially if there are neighbors or others who will intervene or call the police. It makes no sense to risk fighting if you are physically incapable of doing so effectively. Total compliance sometimes works. The assailant might leave you unharmed and just leave. However, compliance may increase the duration of the assault and therefore increase the potential for further harm. You need to thoughtfully consider how you might act under circumstances and plan accordingly.

It has been proven that with proper education and training a victim has more of a chance of escaping or deterring a potential threat if she is educated and trained in assault prevention.

Again…….What would you do?

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Protecting Our Daughters … What Can You Do As A Parent?

November 3, 2010 2 comments

Protecting Our Daughters … What Can You Do As A Parent?

They are your babies, you cradled them in your arms when they were infants. You nurture them, support them, love them as they grow and mature and … protect them. As a parent, it is your responsibility, it’s your passion and yes it’s your JOB. The question lies before us (parents) … how do we protect them when we are physically separated from them and they from us?

How do we insure their safety in a world growing more and more insane, more unstable and more dangerous by the day? (Think of the numerous tragedies that has happened at high schools, colleges, abductions, human trafficking and more that you have seen or read about in the news.) Even when our little girls and adult daughters have graduated from high school and/or college, she will always be your child and her safety will always be at the forefront in your thoughts.

Unfortunately, females continue to deny the need for their own self-protection, relying instead on arguments that the law, spouse, brother, father, etc., should be protecting them. Statistics have indicated that the reality is that the ones expected to protect them are the majority of the ones committing the crimes. But the reality is, if they expect things to change, then they (individually) must be in control of their destiny and change.

As a parent, you owe your daughters and even yourself if you are a mom reading this post the knowledge, wisdom, the upper edge to not become a statistic. Dads it is also your responsibility to get and stayed involved, it is your JOB as well.

Often asked, “Why do you advocate that EVERY female has the absolute right to protect and defend herself?” Simple answer … “to ensure her own safety”.

Crime, victimization can happen to anyone at anytime. Whether you want to live in your fantasy world or not, this is harsh reality. At some point in your daughter’s life she will flash across an assailant’s (majority male) radar as prey. She will be attacked and/or assaulted. She will be alone and vulnerable. And most likely, it will come from the one she least expected. The next question, what will she do?

You, the parent must be the role model for your daughters. We tell our daughters that they can be anything they want. How about safe? How do we show them how to protect themselves against rape, assaults, dating violence, intimate partner violence and more if parents do not set an example of being strong and standing up for themselves by being able to defend themselves – emotionally, mentally, verbally, spiritually and ultimately physically? If parents continue to move in silence about things that happen to women (rape, assault, emotional abuse, dating violence, domestic violence) how are you going to help your daughters become stronger and show your sons what is and is not acceptable behavior from a male?

Countless females come into my speaking engagements and training sessions as sheep and walk out determined, strong and empowered who are ready to take control of their own lives. A personal safety/self-defense course does empower them; but it will educate them in showing them the options in order to take control of their lives and feel safer in their world.

Many of us in this arena refer to personal safety/self-defense as “Life Extension” insurance. Money is spent to insure our automobiles, lives, jewelry, disabilities, travel, rental property and more but yet females hesitate when spending money on a personal safety/self-defense class that can truly SAVE their lives. Women’s personal safety/self-defense classes have an incredible positive impact on participants and greatly changes lives for the better. Classes provide you with real insurance to protect your life. There is not one form of personal safety/self-defense that is 100% guaranteed but it’s better to know something rather than nothing and doing something rather than nothing.

There is one excuse, a major excuse (“It costs too much”) that is extremely frustrating to those of us in this arena. It is completely understandable that people have financial challenges. You cannot put a price tag on a life. Most classes range between $100-$200, but yet many have no problem going out and spending this amount on dinner, buying clothes, getting their hair done and the list goes on. If you knew that you or your daughter would at sometime in either of your lives would be attacked, how much would you be willing to invest in some basic personal safety/self-defense training? I would hope that your answer would be “no limit”. The problem is that people are willing to gamble with the odds of being attacked or assaulted instead of being proactive and learning personal safety/self-defense as an insurance policy.

Whenever a mother or father contacts me or enrolls their daughters in a class I immediately commend them for being proactive because the majority of people are reactive, waiting until something happens to them before learning any personal protection skills. Any victim who has been assaulted and was able to put into use what she learned in a class … ask her if what she paid to learn was too much.

If you won’t do it for yourself, how about for those who count on you the most – your daughters, your mothers, your siblings, etc.? What happens if you are now dead or incapacitated because of a crime? Who takes care of those that you took care of?

Take the time to take care of yourself and your daughters. Empower your life and your daughter’s lives – take a class. You just might surprise yourself with what you are capable of doing as well as your daughters. Allow them each to become empowered with knowledge. Knowledge is a powerful tool. The new outlook that you and/or your daughter(s) will gain will greatly improve your lives.

Take care and STAY SAFE!