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OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

October 1, 2012 2 comments

As Domestic Violence Awareness Month begins I have been thinking of what awareness means to our families, friends and communities.

For hotline and court advocates who respond to crisis calls and provide ongoing support to victims, awareness means seeing the pain that family violence creates for those caught in its grip, as well as celebrating the courage it takes for individuals to rebuild their lives and regain the sense of self after enduring emotional or physical abuse from a loved one. For many community members, awareness may mean seeing friends or family members struggle with this issue now or from the past and getting information about how to help them. For young people it may mean learning about what to expect in a healthy intimate relationship through programs such as “Save the Date” or other programs being offered. Communities and Advocates all around are working diligently to bring awareness of and to prevent and end domestic violence.

The message of advocacy and awareness deserves a wider audience as there is a mix of responses to the epidemic. Those who interact and support the cause know the importance of the work that is being done and are committed to helping organizations continue to provide high quality free services in English and Spanish. Unfortunately, many people are unclear about who the domestic violence agencies are, where they are and what they do. Domestic violence awareness extends beyond the specific month designated for this purpose.

Ways for you to contribute and get involved are:

  • Let your friends and businesses you patronize know what Domestic Violence is, who and what the agency in your community are and what they do. Thank those who support your local agency.
  • Involve your church or favorite civic group in this work through an educational or fundraising event.
  • Make your voice heard in the local media and at election time to advocate for resources for survivors and supportive legislation.
  • Stop by your local Domestic Violence agency and meet their wonderful staff.
  • Volunteer your time or resources to help support community education, office or hotline needs.
  • Serve on a board committee to help with events, fundraising and other activities.

It is imperative that we work together toward the effort, explore ways that we can work together to make our families and communities more peaceful and nurturing for everyone.

I extend many thanks to all who give their time, knowledge and spirit to this work and mission.

Check out (Google them if necessary) events in your community and consider attending:
Take Back The Night
(an international rally and march that is organized in local communities with the purpose of unifying women, men, and children in an awareness of violence against women, children and families.
Beards BeCAUSE – Clean Shaven Party
Beards BeCAUSE is a unique, fun, and successful fundraiser while raising awareness about the issue of domestic violence and making a positive impact and contribution to United Family Services – Shelter For Battered Women
Annual Candlelight Vigil & Memorial
Honoring statewide DV-related homicide victims this past year
Domestic Violence is a Men’s Issue
Join other men (and women) step up to take a pledge turning the tide against violence of women and girls.
Change is Gonna Come
Screening & Community dialogue – this event will screen a play performed at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, DC written by Vickie Evans capturing domestic violence in the church. An open community dialogue will follow.

Nationally:
Check out DV Awareness Project for ideas on DVAM events & resources.

North Carolina:
The North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence statewide theme for North Carolina’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month is “Domestic Violence Affects Everyone: Everyone Can Make A Difference” North Carolina calendar of events

Presidential Proclamation — National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2012

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, 2012

– – – – – – –

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

For far too long, domestic violence was ignored or treated as a private matter where victims were left to suffer in silence without hope of intervention. As we mark the 18th anniversary of the landmark Violence Against Women Act, authored by Vice President Joe Biden, we reflect on how far we have come. We have made significant progress in changing laws and attitudes, providing support to survivors, and reducing the incidence of domestic violence. But we also know that we have not come far enough, and that there is more work left to be done. During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we stand with all those who have been affected by this terrible crime, recognize the individuals and groups who have stepped forward to break the cycle of violence, and recommit to putting an end to domestic violence in America.

Despite considerable progress in reducing domestic violence, an average of three women in the United States lose their lives every day as a result of these unconscionable acts. And while women between the ages of 16 and 24 are among the most vulnerable to intimate partner violence, domestic violence affects people regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race, or religion. Tragically, without intervention, children exposed to such violence can suffer serious long-term consequences that may include difficulty in school, post-traumatic disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, and criminal behavior.

My Administration remains committed to getting victims the help they need, from emergency shelter and legal assistance to transitional housing and services for children. We are also working to stop violence before it starts. Last year, agencies across the Federal Government held town hall meetings nationwide to promote men’s roles in ending violence against women. Through Vice President Biden’s 1is2many initiative, we built on that progress earlier this year by releasing a public service announcement that features professional athletes and other role models speaking out against dating violence. This April, I directed leaders throughout my Administration to increase efforts to prevent and combat domestic violence involving Federal employees and address its effects on the Federal workforce. Since August, the Affordable Care Act has required most insurance plans to make domestic violence screening and counseling available as a preventive service for women — without co-payments, deductibles, or other cost-sharing. And most recently, we developed a new initiative to reduce domestic violence homicides through high risk screening and linking victims with services. Moreover, my Administration looks forward to working with the Congress to strengthen and reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.

While government must do its part, all Americans can play a role in ending domestic violence. Each of us can promote healthy relationships, speak out when we see injustice in our communities, stand with survivors we know, and change attitudes that perpetuate the cycle of abuse. We must also ensure that survivors of domestic violence know they are not alone, and that there are resources available to them. I encourage victims, their loved ones, and concerned citizens to learn more by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE, or by visiting www.TheHotline.org.

This month, let us renew our efforts to support victims of domestic violence in their time of greatest need, and to realize an America where no one lives in fear because they feel unsafe in their own home.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 2012 as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I call on all Americans to speak out against domestic violence and support local efforts to assist victims of these crimes in finding the help and healing they need.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand twelve, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-seventh.

BARACK OBAMA

A Victim’s safety always needs to come first and foremost.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

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An Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit can save your life!

July 15, 2012 Comments off

An Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is the mastermind process of domestic violence expert Susan Murphy Milano that combines video taping of the victims actual words attesting to the abuse coupled with creative witnessed and notarized legal documents that successfully satisfy legal hurdles often faced in these intimate partner violence and stalking cases.  Susan has worked countless hours to move mountains in the way an abuse situation is handled.It combines past history of abuse, testimony,documentation, and evidence in a all in one video to support your statements of abuse as well as satisfy the courts.

The EAA was born out of the Stacey Peterson case.  It was created to make sure if you disappear your fears and words do not.  Stacey’s case reminds us we need the words of the victim otherwise even if everyone knows it is the abuser they get away with it.  Proof is needed.  Murphy-Milano says, “Had either Kathleen Savio or Stacy Peterson prepared an EAA, there would be no question of a prompt arrest. The EAA also gives law enforcement and investigators information about the alleged perpetrator allowing the victim to speak from the grave on her own behalf, should that be necessary.  Think of the millions saved in taxpayer dollars!”

Susan has worked with prosecutors and victims all over the world.  Since her creation not one of the people she has worked with has been killed.  That in itself is a miracle since the U.S. Surgeon general finds domestic violence as the leading cause of health problems in our country.  One in every three women will be victimized.

The EAA is easy to use, very detailed and walks the victim through the steps needed to cross any line drawn in prosecutions case.  It contains the evidence and statements necessary to prosecute should the victim be harmed.

Until now the response when you are abused has been:

  • victims are told to report (but action is only taken if you can show evidence of the abuse).
  • Victims are told to go to a shelter.
  • Victims are told to get a restraining order (but usually only granted if there is evidence of the abuse)
  • Victims are told to move away (but leaving behind careers, family, and assets).
  • Victims are told to stay with someone else.
  • Victims are told stalking is hard to prove and stalking laws are often weak and poorly defined.

Now the solution is at your hands easily downloaded and process detailed.  The EAA is now available on Apple products for download.  It is simple, and I tried it myself.  With the ease of an App, a victim can download the app and be guided through the process of creating the E.A.A. on a Smart Phone.  Any Smart Phone with a camera will be able to video tape the recorded testimony of her abuse experiences.  The person will simply fill out the E.A.A. documentation pages, and the pages will be notarized and instructions for where the completed documents are sent will direct the victim through the completion process.  Utilizing cloud technology, the E.A.A. is stored safely in a forensically secured database.

It was released on July 4th, 2012.  How fitting the day for freedom is the day the app becomes available.  After 20 years of working on Intimate partner violence she sees her dream come true.All information on the EAA can be found on Susan’s website at: www.documenttheabuse.com.  Please check out her latest book now available by download, Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Safely Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationships.  Susan Murphy Milano is a true hero to millions and her newest creation can and will save lives.  If you are in dangerous situation call local authorities and seek help. Always document everything. It can change the outcome.

This is an example of an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit for individuals who perceive they are at risk.  By creating a file like this and giving it to specific people, any later events could be answered.  A video like this could solve a crime later on.  For more information visit Susan’s website.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Contributed by Examiner.com in part

New Adam Sandler movie “That’s My Boy” glorifies outdated views on healthy sexuality

June 16, 2012 Comments off

Sony Pictures released “That’s My Boy,” a movie that glorifies statutory rape between a teacher and her 13 year old student.

Numerous media outlets are reporting that Adam Sandler’s new movie “That’s My Boy” makes light of statutory rape in its depiction of a thirteen-year old boy’s sexual relationship with his teacher at school. That relationship results in the teacher’s pregnancy, a jail sentence, and Sandler’s character being forced to raise the child himself.  When the child turns eighteen, he leaves home and does not interact with his father again until the eve of his wedding, when the Sandler character shows up at his home in need of money.

Some will argue in defense of this movie by stating that the story ultimately focuses on the characters’ reconciliation and that since the movie is a comedy, advocates such as organizations like Prevent Child Abuse America, Darkness to Light and Stop It Now! are taking the story line too seriously. We would suggest that these arguments are specious at best. They do not excuse the movie’s outdated views on child sexuality, and the sexuality of boys specifically, much less the long term impact of sexual abuse on children. Nor do these arguments ameliorate the fact that the corporate culture of Columbia Pictures and Happy Madison Productions is one that embraces child rape as a means for making a profit.

“It goes without saying,” stated Jim Hmurovich, President & CEO, Prevent Child Abuse America, “that Adam Sandler and Columbia Pictures would never have made a similar movie about a thirteen-year old girl and a teacher of hers, so how is it that in 2012 they still find it acceptable to make such a movie about a character who is a boy? This is a movie about rape, plain and simple, and while we could have an endless dialogue about how is this is a comedy, or a story that highlights the resilience of children, I call upon the viewing public to express their strong disapproval. Along with my colleagues from Darkness to Light and Stop It Now! we have sent the producers of the film an offer to discuss how misguided this attempt at humor is, and what message can be salvaged from this screenplay. All of us regardless of what we do in our lives have a responsibility to the children and families in this country. I suggest we figure out together how they can fulfill that responsibility in a way that supports the healthy child development of all children.”

Via Darkness to Light:

Help us send Hollywood a message that sexual abuse is not a joke.

Click to sign our petition against Sony Picture’s movie “That’s My Boy”

As you know, for victims of sexual abuse, this issue is no laughing matter. Sony Pictures should stand with victims, not unite against them. At a time when child sexual abuse is finally getting the attention it deserves, Sony Pictures wants to take a huge step back by endorsing statutory rape.

Click to sign our petition and tell Hollywood sexual abuse is not a joke

I hope you will pass this petition along and keep the pressure on Sony Pictures so they will see the error of their ways.

Thanks again for your partnership in protecting children and for using your voice to speak out!

ABOUT DARKNESS TO LIGHT
Darkness to Light is a national non-profit organization with the mission to empower people to prevent child sexual abuse. We do this by increasing public awareness of the issue, educating adults to prevent, recognize the signs and react responsibly to child sexual abuse, and by engaging communities in building and sustaining child sexual abuse prevention initiatives. Learn more D2L.org.

ABOUT PREVENT CHILD ABUSE AMERICA

Prevent Child Abuse America, founded in 1972, works to ensure the healthy development of children nationwide while recognizing that child development is a building block for community development and economic development. We believe that communities across the country are doing innovative things with great results to prevent abuse and neglect from ever occurring, and what we need to do as a nation is commit to bringing this kind of ingenuity to communities everywhere. Based in Chicago, Prevent Child Abuse America has chapters in 49 states and over 400 Healthy Families America, home visitation sites in 37 states, the Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico and Canada. For more information, please visit preventchildabuse.org and healthyfamiliesamerica.org.

ABOUT STOP IT NOW!
Stop It Now! ® prevents the sexual abuse of children by mobilizing adults, families and communities to take actions that protect children before they are harmed. We provide support, information and resources so individuals and families around the world can keep children safe and create healthier communities. Read more at StopItNow.org.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Death penalty sought the murder of Shaniya Davis…

October 6, 2011 4 comments

Fayetteville, Cumberland County, North Carolina prosecutors said Wednesday that they plan to seek the death penalty against the man charged with killing a 5-year-old Fayetteville girl, Shaniya Davis almost two years ago but not against the girl’s mother.

Mario Andrette McNeill, 30, has been charged with murder, kidnapping and rape in the death of Shaniya Davis, whose body was found in a kudzu patch near the Lee-Harnett county line on Nov. 16, 2009, six days after her mother, Antoinette Nicole Davis, reported her missing from their Fayetteville home.

Authorities believe Antoinette Davis is complicit in her daughter’s death. Arrest warrants stated that she “did knowingly provide Shaniya with the intent that she be held in sexual servitude” and “did permit an act of prostitution with Shaniya.”

An autopsy determined that Shaniya died of asphyxiation and that injuries she suffered were consistent with a sexual assault. A medical examiner noted in the autopsy that investigators believe the girl was used to pay off a drug debt.

A Cumberland County grand jury indicted Antoinette Davis in July on charges of first-degree murder, indecent liberties with a child, felony child abuse, felony sexual servitude, rape of a child, sexual offense of a child by an adult offender, human trafficking and making a false police report.

She was arraigned Wednesday, and a judge set her bond on the murder charge at $2 million. Bonds totaling $1.5 million were set previously on the other charges.

McNeill, whom police have described as a friend of the family, is being held without bond at Central Prison in Raleigh.

Courtesy of WRAL

Will there ever be justice fo Shaniya Davis?  Personally, there will never be ENOUGH justice served for this precious child.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Breaking down B4U-ACT’s (Pedophilia) Plea for Tolerance…

August 31, 2011 2 comments

Just as the pedophile grooms and conditions his victims, the B4U-ACT group, a pro-pedophile organization, is being criticized for attempting to condition society to tolerate the “special feelings” pedophiles have for minors.

As you know, sympathetic activists held a conference encouraging society to connect emotionally with pedophiles to promote tolerance.

The group held a conference in Baltimore on August 17 that included clinicians, researchers and pedophiles talking about pedophilia and how those at risk for acting on their urges can seek real help. But the dominating topic of discussion was the group’s intentions of changing the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) classification of pedophilia.

B4U-ACT classifies pedophilia as a different type of sexual orientation, just as gay or hetero are different from each other. (Super! Let’s make new laws to protect all types of sexual orientation. What a circus society will be!)

While B4U-ACT may have its heart in the right place with their willingness to help pedophiles manage their sexual feelings for children, the group’s encouragement of using phrases such as, “minor-attracted persons” in place of “pedophiles” is very dangerous.

The B4U-ACT group repeatedly refers to pedophiles as, “minor-attracted persons.” The reference is made ad nauseam and appears on the B4U-ACT Web site like flies at a picnic.

Is it all part of their audio/visual conditioning plan to achieve societal acceptance for pedophilia? Here’s the thing–Society might be quite capable of tolerating the feelings defining pedophilia. It’s what happens as a result of those feelings that causes a visceral reaction from the world.

B4U-ACT claims to help pedophiles with compassionate understanding and a clear distinction between feelings and illegal actions. However, empathetic terms aimed at softening the true threat behind pedophilia are just another violation against our children. Especially when B4U-ACT starts tampering with the APA’s classification of pedophilia.

B4U-ACT’s holy grail might just be forcing the nation to illegalize the National Registry for Sex Offenders so we don’t hurt their feelings by “calling them out.”

B4U-ACT harps on the concept that many people who are attracted to children have never once acted on those feelings by engaging a minor in sex. This is probably true, and I highly doubt these responsible, law-abiding citizens need their feelings validated by B4U-ACT or society as a whole.

It’s coming across that B4U-ACT is trying to establish an empathetic response from society in order to create the path of open tolerance for pedophilia. Here’s the problem with that approach–Paths often turn into major roadways where speed limits are ignored.

So here, let’s simplify everything for the folks of B4U-ACT.  Attraction to children is something a person can easily seek help for through counseling. Pedophiles already know this and they also know society respects their self-control. The last thing our children or pedophiles need is B4U-ACT blurring the line between right and wrong with carefully selected terminology designed to soften the consequences of pedophilia.

This is no way to allay the fears of society, or the fears of a pedophile at risk of acting on his urges.

There is a bold line between right and wrong in society. Most of us clearly recognize that line every day in the things we say and do. We are all successfully controlling something in our lives. It is simply a part of respecting the difference between right and wrong.

If pedophiles want to feel included in society as a whole instead of being labeled as an outcast, the road to success is quite simple,

Don’t put your hands on a child. Ever.

Don’t have a child’s hands on you. Ever.

This “organization” and others cannot be allowed to keep going on as if they are to be accepted and tolerated.  No, I do not have tolerance for B4U-ACT, it’s members nor supporters.  As long as there are many of us in this arena fighting for our children who do not have a voice – we will continue to expose organizations of this sort for what they truly are.  Educating the public is imperative, saving our children is IMPERATIVE.

Child sexual abuse and assault will never be tolerated, never!  The “urge” will never be tolerated!

Thank you Kristen Berry for your contribution and stance.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

‘Dance Crew’ Judge DISTURBING Details In Child Sex Case

August 27, 2011 Comments off

Former “America’s Best Dance Crew” judge Shane Sparks allegedly sexually abused at least 6 young girls IN ADDITION to the woman who claims Sparks raped her when she was 12 years old  … this according to court documents obtained by TMZ.

The documents were just made public … following a plea deal Sparks made with the L.A. County District Attorney in which he received 270 days in jail after pleading no contest to having unlawful sex with a minor under 16.

The allegations in the documents are extremely disturbing — with the victim telling police Sparks forced her to have sex with him after driving her home from a dance class he had taught in 1994 when she was only 12 years old.

According to the docs, the victim claims Sparks took her to HIS home where he started to “make out” with her … and then he “rolled on top of her and pinned her beneath him.”

The docs explain, “The victim told him she was a virgin and not ready for intercourse” but Sparks “ignored her pleas and penetrated her vagina for several minutes. He then drove her home.”

According to the docs, investigators found “at least six other victims, whom between the ages of 12-17, were also abused by [Sparks].” No further details about the other alleged victims are included in the docs.

Sparks is expected to begin his sentence sometime in the next year.

Via TMZ

You NEVER know who is a pedophile – they don’t have a “look”; he/she can be ANYONE!  They have many faces, in many professions and just the average person in a crowd.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Paving the Way for Condoning Child Rape by Dr. Keith Ablow…

August 26, 2011 1 comment

There were those who scoffed at my contention that Abercrombie and Fitch, the edgy retailer, was paving the way for mainstream pedophilia when it began marketing breast enhancing bikinis to girls as young as eight.

There were those who railed against my contention that the French edition of Vogue was kindling pedophilia and embracing it with its racy depictions of 10-year-old Thylane Lena-Rose Loubry-Blondeau in heavy makeup, a plunging neckline and stiletto heels.

There were others who suggested that I had a problem with breastfeeding, in general, when I took issue with The Breast Milk Baby, which encourages little girls to wear a vest that has flowers in place of larger nipples and nurse the doll.

But, now, there should be no doubt that our culture is poised to begin embracing pedophilia as a lifestyle choice, just like homosexuality. A group of psychiatrists and other mental health professionals called B4U-Act, which has representatives from Harvard and Johns Hopkins, gathered recently in Baltimore to organize their push to change the negative perception of pedophiles and encourage them to get help in a nonjudgmental environment.

While B4U-Act is not representative of mainstream psychiatry, and while the American Psychiatric Association (APA) did not participate in the group’s meeting, psychiatry has a history of caving into cultural pressure to stop defining controversial illnesses as pathological. You won’t even find ego-dystonic homosexuality—meaning, homosexual impulses that cause an individual to feel distressed and which that individual does not want to give into—in the DSM, anymore.

Some of the goals of B4U-Act are worthwhile. Encouraging pedophiles to seek psychiatric treatment to resist their pathological urges is a good thing, not a bad thing. I wish every pedophile would get help before ever hurting a child. And the group is absolutely right in asserting that some pedophiles—perhaps the vast majority of pedophiles—never actually do commit a crime. They live with their erotic desires for children without ever acting on them.

Dr. Fred Berlin, a Johns Hopkins psychiatrist, bonafide genius, and truly decent person, is quoted on the website of B4U-Act. His treatment protocols for sexual offenders and others with such impulses do indeed vastly reduce the likelihood that such individuals will hurt children, and his efforts are to be lauded.

But what the members of B4U-Act fail to realize is that there are some impulses worth repressing from consciousness—like the impulse to rape children. There are even thoughts worth repressing—like fantasies of having sex with children. When a society stigmatizes certain actions and thoughts—thereby driving them out of mainstream consciousness and into the shadows—that isn’t always a bad thing.

The group also fails to recognize that there are consequences to removing all moral judgment from a profession. Psychiatry, for example, has become hostile to suggesting that alcoholics are actually choosing their drug over their families and jobs and other responsibilities—and that making that choice is morally reprehensible. Why isn’t it all right for psychiatrists to take a hard line against pedophilia and see it for what it is: a desire to violate and injure children that is both pathological and morally reprehensible and to be resisted by every means possible?

I’ve told more than one of my patients that his real diagnosis, given his behavior in embracing drugs, instead of his family or employment, shouldn’t be alcohol dependence or heroin dependence, but “scumbag.” And I then have quickly added that they can do better than that—that they must choose to do better than that, because, deep inside, they are good and decent and lovable. I tell them they can find the courage to do the right thing, instead of the wrong thing. Yes, I sometimes use the word “wrong.” I judge them. It helps.

I would not hesitate to tell a pedophile that his desires are to injure and torture a child—that they are morally wrong—and that it is his responsibility to ferret out the source of those destructive desires and extinguish them. I wouldn’t for a moment commiserate about how hard it is to live in a society that criminalizes the acts he is moved to commit.

Suggesting to pedophiles that their thoughts and impulses are “understandable” and that they won’t be judged by the members of B4U-Act is the kind of message that encourages them to push harder to change what they think of as unfair laws that keep them from their base desires.

I hate to say I told you so, but . . . well . . . OK, I won’t.

Dr. Keith Ablow, MD is one of America’s leading psychiatrists.  He is a graduate of Brown University and the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, an assistant professor at Tufts Medical School, and is board certified in adult, adolescent and forensic psychiatry.  He is the author of numerous books on overcoming depression, anxiety disorders and other psychological challenges and serves as the FOX NEWS expert on psychiatry and as a contributing editor at both Good Housekeepingand Men’s Fitness.

Thank you Dr. Ablow for your professional contribution, for telling “it” just as it is and for being a voice for our children.  You are appreciated.

Take care and STAY SAFE!