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Susan Murphy-Milano, Nationally Known Advocate and Author Has Been Called Home…
Susan Murphy-Milano
On Sunday, October 28, 2012 when many across the country were praying for Susan Murphy-Milano to find peace and to let God bring her home, she passed through the doorway of the mansion in heaven that was prepared for her.
Is she gone from us? No way.
Susan’s work lives on in each and every victim of violence that she figured out how to save, it goes on through each case she offered her expertise that got the attention it needed to make progress, she lives on through each friend who touched her life and to whom she gave so freely. Although her shoes can never be filled, her work will continue.
All of us have a favorite memory, picture and story about Susan. Please feel free to leave your words at Conquering Cancer in the comment section.
Memorial announcements will be made for a time in the future.
……Delilah Jones
Susan Murphy-Milano
was a nonfiction author, violence expert and host of the weekly radio crime show “Time’s Up” and author of a book by the same title. Murphy-Milano, who grew up in Chicago, lived in Surfside Beach, South Carolina.
Murder-suicide
In January 1989, Murphy-Milano’s father, 30-year veteran Detective Phillip Murphy, a decorated Chicago Police violent crimes investigator, murdered her mother, Roberta, using his service weapon, a .44 magnum, and then took his own life by shooting himself in the head. Afterward, Murphy-Milano, who discovered her parents’ bodies, vowed to change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides were handled and investigated. She spent her career advocating for women and child victims of domestic violence.
Career
Murphy-Milano was a nationally known women’s advocate who lobbied for the passage of 1993’s Illinois Stalking Law and the Lautenberg Amendment of 1996, a domestic violence offender gun ban.
Murphy-Milano authored Defending Our Lives: Getting Away From Domestic Violence & Staying Safe, published by Doubleday, and Moving Out, Moving On, which focuses on when a relationship goes wrong. Times Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships, was released by the publishing on demand publisher, Dog Ear Press in 2010. Author and former prosecutor Robin Sax, in a review for Psychology Today, wrote about the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) included in the book. “Murphy Milano reaches out and offers her hand — with a key (almost literally). Thank you to Murphy-Milano for giving us … a succinct, well-written guidebook that is a must-have for anyone who is a victim or who works with victims of domestic abuse. ”
Murphay-Milano’s most recently published book, Holding My Hand Through Hell by Ice Cube Press details her life of abuse, murder, and domestic violence. “Life-affirming and thought provoking just like Susan. –Diane Fanning, New York Times Best-Selling Author.
Murphy-Milano often spoke to law enforcement, at schools and before groups advocating victims’ rights. Also, she worked with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education.
Susan Murphy Milano was a specialist and expert in intimate partner violence and worked nationally with corporations, faith based organizations, domestic violence programs, law enforcement, and prosecutors providing technical and consulting services in high risk domestic violence and stalking related cases. Her principal objective was to intervene before a victim was seriously injured or killed. Utilizing a procedure which she devised, The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, Murphy Milano’s clients are all still alive a statistic that is remarkable considering the distinct increase in intimate partner homicides. Document the Abuse.Com offers pertinent information for victims leaving abusive relationships.
In addition, she and her work have been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio, and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC S 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN, Sunday Today Show Profile, Women s Day, Family Circle, US News and World Report to name a few. She has frequently participated in guest media commentary panels on major and recently appeared on the A&E Biography of Drew Peterson. She is a well known radio host, regularly hosting The Susan Murphy Milano Show, Time s Up! on the Zeus Media Network, also she appeared on Crime Wire on BlogTalk Radio, and was a regular weekly co-host on the nationally syndicated The Roth Show.
Her books, Defending Our Lives; Moving Out, Moving On; Times Up!, Holding My Hand Through Hell and corresponding strategies will continue to be taught world-wide and used by law enforcement, social workers, attorneys, health care workers, human resource departments and domestic violence agencies.
Various contributors including Wikipedia
Blessings my Sister and Friend, you will truly be missed.
I. LOVE. YOU.
Authorities missed chances to stop a rapist, Sandusky who preyed on children for years…
Yet evidence and testimony from the trial show there were plenty of people, not just those at the highest levels of Penn State university, who had ample opportunity to stop a man accused of violating 10 boys over 15 years:
— A janitor failed to tell authorities he allegedly caught Sandusky performing oral sex on a boy in a campus shower a dozen years ago.
— A district attorney with a reputation for prosecuting cases involving children and sexual abuse victims declined to charge Sandusky over a 1998 molestation allegation even though the detective who investigated thought it was a solid case. The DA, Ray Gricar, disappeared in 2005 and was declared legally dead last year.
— School district officials were skeptical of abuse claims brought by the young man known in court papers as Victim 1 because, the accuser testified, Sandusky was considered to have a “heart of gold.” Victim 1’s allegations eventually triggered the state investigation that produced charges.
— One accuser testified he screamed out for help at least once when Sandusky’s wife, Dottie, was in the house. He doesn’t know whether she heard his cries.
— And, famously, coaching assistant Mike McQueary saw Sandusky having what he believed to be anal sex with a young boy in 2001. But his report to Athletic Director Tim Curley and Vice President Gary Schultz went nowhere. McQueary’s dad testified that during a conversation, Schultz said he was suspicious of Sandusky, and NBC reported this week that emails between former university President Graham Spanier and Schultz aiming to keep McQueary’s allegation from going further were turned over to the attorney general.
— Others also saw Sandusky engaging in behavior that was at least odd, if not criminal. Longtime assistant coach Tom Bradley walked into the shower when one boy was with Sandusky, the accuser testified, and a wrestling coach told jurors he saw Sandusky and a child rolling on the floor.
— Several accusers said their parents or caregivers failed to grasp what was happening to them. Victim 4 testified that one weekend he did not want to go with Sandusky and told his mother, “I’m pretty sure he’s gay,” but she dismissed the idea. “She said, oh, whatever, this is just one of your lies,” he told jurors. He also said at one point he told his grandmother to tell Sandusky he wasn’t home when he called.
The testimony of eight of the 10 alleged victims named in a grand jury report prompted disgust and revulsion from Penn State alumni and others who took to Twitter last week to express their dismay — and to call for the heads of anyone involved in concealing abuse. “Anyone who knew and didn’t report should burn!” tweeted one.
The sad part is that most children know their abuser. Parents are concerned with letting their children outside to play, fearful that someone will abduct them or worse. But really, they should be concerned with the people their child interacts with on a daily basis. These are the people that abuse children (for the most part). Our job is to guard against those who would prey on children.
The description — “sickening” of adults using young people to satisfy their sexual fantasies — isn’t harsh enough.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Taking a bold effort to reach into communities across the country, Anny Jacoby is a Prevention Specialist and an authorized Facilitator for Stewards of Children through the Darkness to Light program, an organization whose mission is to train adults in every community to responsibly attack the issue of child sexual abuse.
Please contact Anny to schedule Children’s of Steward’s training or to arrange a Prevent Now! meeting for your community.
anny@annyjacoby.com
New Adam Sandler movie “That’s My Boy” glorifies outdated views on healthy sexuality
Sony Pictures released “That’s My Boy,” a movie that glorifies statutory rape between a teacher and her 13 year old student.
Numerous media outlets are reporting that Adam Sandler’s new movie “That’s My Boy” makes light of statutory rape in its depiction of a thirteen-year old boy’s sexual relationship with his teacher at school. That relationship results in the teacher’s pregnancy, a jail sentence, and Sandler’s character being forced to raise the child himself. When the child turns eighteen, he leaves home and does not interact with his father again until the eve of his wedding, when the Sandler character shows up at his home in need of money.
Some will argue in defense of this movie by stating that the story ultimately focuses on the characters’ reconciliation and that since the movie is a comedy, advocates such as organizations like Prevent Child Abuse America, Darkness to Light and Stop It Now! are taking the story line too seriously. We would suggest that these arguments are specious at best. They do not excuse the movie’s outdated views on child sexuality, and the sexuality of boys specifically, much less the long term impact of sexual abuse on children. Nor do these arguments ameliorate the fact that the corporate culture of Columbia Pictures and Happy Madison Productions is one that embraces child rape as a means for making a profit.
“It goes without saying,” stated Jim Hmurovich, President & CEO, Prevent Child Abuse America, “that Adam Sandler and Columbia Pictures would never have made a similar movie about a thirteen-year old girl and a teacher of hers, so how is it that in 2012 they still find it acceptable to make such a movie about a character who is a boy? This is a movie about rape, plain and simple, and while we could have an endless dialogue about how is this is a comedy, or a story that highlights the resilience of children, I call upon the viewing public to express their strong disapproval. Along with my colleagues from Darkness to Light and Stop It Now! we have sent the producers of the film an offer to discuss how misguided this attempt at humor is, and what message can be salvaged from this screenplay. All of us regardless of what we do in our lives have a responsibility to the children and families in this country. I suggest we figure out together how they can fulfill that responsibility in a way that supports the healthy child development of all children.”
Via Darkness to Light:
Help us send Hollywood a message that sexual abuse is not a joke.
Click to sign our petition against Sony Picture’s movie “That’s My Boy”
As you know, for victims of sexual abuse, this issue is no laughing matter. Sony Pictures should stand with victims, not unite against them. At a time when child sexual abuse is finally getting the attention it deserves, Sony Pictures wants to take a huge step back by endorsing statutory rape.
Click to sign our petition and tell Hollywood sexual abuse is not a joke
I hope you will pass this petition along and keep the pressure on Sony Pictures so they will see the error of their ways.
Thanks again for your partnership in protecting children and for using your voice to speak out!
ABOUT DARKNESS TO LIGHT
Darkness to Light is a national non-profit organization with the mission to empower people to prevent child sexual abuse. We do this by increasing public awareness of the issue, educating adults to prevent, recognize the signs and react responsibly to child sexual abuse, and by engaging communities in building and sustaining child sexual abuse prevention initiatives. Learn more D2L.org.
ABOUT PREVENT CHILD ABUSE AMERICA
ABOUT STOP IT NOW!
Stop It Now! ® prevents the sexual abuse of children by mobilizing adults, families and communities to take actions that protect children before they are harmed. We provide support, information and resources so individuals and families around the world can keep children safe and create healthier communities. Read more at StopItNow.org.
Pinwheels Call Attention to Child Abuse, Ways to Identify and Prevent It!
Many communities “plant pinwheel gardens” each April of colorful pinwheels spinning in the wind which represents a child living in the community who was abused last year.
April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month and many local organizations offer tips on preventing abuse.
Congress first declared April as National Child Abuse Awareness Month, a time designated each year to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect, in 1983, and each year the president issues a proclamation calling on Americans to use the month to help prevent child abuse.
The first step in helping abused children is learning to recognize the symptoms of child abuse. Although child abuse is divided into four types – physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse and emotional maltreatment – the types are more typically found in combination than alone. A physically abused child for example is often emotionally maltreated as well, and a sexually abused child may be also neglected. Any child at any age may experience any of the types of child abuse.
Child abuse leaves more than just bruises. Long after children have recovered from the physical results of any type of abuse, abused children suffer from emotional and psychological trauma that can last the rest of their lives.
Unfortunately, many bystanders witness child abuse and do nothing about it. Neighbors and friends may hear or even see child abuse happening, but don’t want to intrude or interfere with “the rights” of the parents. Such inaction can mean years of pain and heartbreak for young children who are unable to get out of a horrific situation.
Abused children need your intervention. In their helplessness, they must rely on capable adults who are willing to take a stand and get them out of an abusive environment. By being aware of child abuse, and helping to educate the people you know, you can help prevent child abuse in your community.
Identifying Child Abuse
While it is impossible to determine the presence of abuse or neglect by behavior, the following signs may signal the presence of child abuse or neglect:
The Child:
- Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
- Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parent’s attention
- Has learning problems or difficulty concentrating that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
- Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
- Lacks adult supervision•Is overly compliant, passive or withdrawn
- Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home
The Parent:
- Shows little concern for the child
- Denies the existence of, or blames the child for the child’s problems in school or at home
- Asks teachers or other caretakers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
- Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
- Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
- Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs
The Parent and the Child:
- Rarely touch or look at each other
- Consider their relationship entirely negative
- State that they do not like each other
Preventing Child Abuse
Learn about child abuse. Educate yourself and keep these key facts in mind:
- Child abusers can be any age, any gender and any race. They can be from any economic class, and have any level of education.
- Children are more likely to be abused by their own parents than by a stranger.
- Rarely does an incident of child abuse happen in isolation. When a child is abused once, it is likely to happen again.
- Educate your neighbors and friends about child abuse.
Stop child abuse when you see it. If you have trouble identifying the difference between child abuse and acceptable forms of discipline, learn the Federal and State laws and find resources that distinguish between discipline and abuse. Do not hesitate to contact the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-Child). During your anonymous call, their counselors can help you evaluate the situation and help you make a child abuse report to the proper authorities. If you are nervous about making a report, they will even stay on the line during a 3-way call to offer you support. If a child is in life-threatening danger, call 911 immediately.
It’s time that people take a stand against child abuse. Your simple actions will help prevent child abuse and give abused children hope for a brighter future.
Take care and STAY SAFE!