Home > Adversity, assault, Awareness & Prevention, Education, Murder, Prevention, Safety Tips > Being Proactive vs. Reactive IS a Choice

Being Proactive vs. Reactive IS a Choice

March 22, 2011

This post is for females of ALL ages.

There are two primary types of self-defense methods: proactive and reactive. Ideally, you will employ a combination of proactive self -defense methods and not have to rely on your reactive self-defense methods for dealing with potential violence and attackers.

What is Proactive Self Defense?
As the name implies, proactive self-defense are techniques you use before someone attacks you. Being proactive should prevent a dangerous or violent situation from happening and gives you time to put space between you and the possible assailant. For example, if you’re walking down the street and see someone who looks a bit suspicious or who otherwise makes you uncomfortable you have the opportunity to employ proactive self-defense. You can cross the street so you’re walking on the opposite side as the individual you’re unsure about. You can go into a store or public place if you’re in a location where that is possible. Proactive self-defense gives you the opportunity to possibly avoid a confrontation.

When you’re aware of what’s going on around you and of potential dangers, you have time to think about a strategy if a threat occurs. If an attack seems like it’s about to happen, you can make sure you are ready to act giving yourself a better chance at stunning the attacker rather than waiting until he or she is attacking you before trying to make a move.

Being proactive means you’re paying attention to your surroundings. If you’re walking with your head in the clouds and your MP3 player blaring in your ears, you give up your opportunity to be proactive and avoid a potentially dangerous or violent situation. Get the ear buds OUT OF YOUR EARS unless you are in a gym. Do not voluntarily take any of your senses away at any given time.

What is Reactive Defense?

Once you’ve been attacked, the opportunity for proactive defense is gone and now you must employ reactive self-defense methods in order to get away from the attacker. If someone jumps on your back while walking through a dark parking lot, you’re going to have an awfully hard time digging the pepper spray out from the bottom of your bag and spraying an attacker while he or she is attacking you. (I do not promote weapons such as pepper spray, guns, etc. = false security.)

Once you are being attacked the only thing you can do is react to the situation. You have no time to prepare or possibly prevent the situation from happening. Reactive self-defense techniques include physical fighting and attempting to outrun an attacker.

Now take a moment and ask yourself, would you rather be proactive or reactive? Not a tough choice but how many females actually know or learn how to be proactive? The number of females that know how to effectively protect and defend themselves is a small percentage to those that do not.

Any type or form of self-defense begins with knowledge and education. Prevention is the key, being proactive. Unfortunately we are not born with this knowledge, we are born with instincts but we have to be educated on the correct way to use them and how to physically defend ourselves.

I have a challenge for each of you. For one week, set a “daily” Google alert for domestic violence, sexual assault, rape, teen dating violence, abduction, bullying, stalking, murder and any other form of abuse or assault that you can think of that occurs over and over and over, hourly, daily. Read each alert that you get in your email. I mean go to the link and read the horrific reports that you receive. Read each one at least twice. Feel the pain, the turmoil; go to that dark place and put yourself in the victim’s situation. Then go look in the mirror and look at yourself and tell yourself that you have not been given a “free pass” to the possibility of being victimized. Yes, you are special but you must get your head out of the sand and realize that you are not exempt. If you are not educated, if you are not proactive nor know how to be you don’t have a snowballs chance in hell that you would survive an assault. You see anyone can and is victimized. Victimization does not discriminate.

So what do you do now? The majority of females will do nothing, absolutely nothing. Why? Because they have the mentality that “it won’t happen to me”. This post is meant to be a major wake-up call and I pray that I am reaching someone out here.

Google the murder of Jayna Murray in an upscale yoga store in Bethesda, Maryland on March 11, 2010 . When the report originally aired it was reported that two employees were assaulted and one, Jayna Murray was murdered during a botched robbery which escalated. This crime circulated on Saturday when the employee’s were found by a co-worker. Bethesda, surrounding areas, the entire country – females went into panic mode. How could this happen in Bethesda of all places? How could this have happened to Jayna, she was an awesome, sweet, loving person? And, her co-worker assaulted, alive but would live with this horrific crime for the rest of her life.

The country went into a tail spin, stunning everyone. The media went crazy and females everywhere were actively seeking some kind of self-defense training because FINALLY THEY GOT A WAKE-UP CALL!

Why in God’s name does something terrible have to happen for females to get it? Why does it take horrific crimes to be committed against females that gain media attention to make you/them look past their noses?

We now know that Jayna and her co-worker, Brittany Norwood was not sexually assaulted and Norwood has been allegedly charged with Jayna Murray’s murder. But……..what if? What if these two women were sexually assaulted, beaten, murdered and tied up? Can you even begin to imagine?

Now…..things are quieting down because Jayna wasn’t assaulted and murdered by a male. Females will go about their business and become complacent. SHAME ON YOU/THEM!

Perhaps if a victim is educated and knows how to “effectively and realistically” defend herself it doesn’t matter if her assailant is a male or female she would have a fighting chance. Don’t you think?

In order kids to drive, drivers of any age have to attend so many hours of classroom study and must drive with an instructor a set number of hours BEFORE obtaining a license to drive alone. In reality, what are the states teaching these new drivers??????? Defensive driving! Bingo! While driving you are taught to ALWAYS be watching out for the other drivers, anticipating their moves while driving.

I leave you with this thought……..since we teach DEFENSIVE driving techniques why in the world wouldn’t every female want to be taught HOW TO PROTECT AND DEFEND HERSELF? A car can be replaced, a life cannot whether in a car or from an assault.

Do something for yourself, don’t make your parents “make” you take a personal safety course (that’s another post as to what to look for in an effective course). You are not invincible, you are human!

March 21, 2011 Jayna Murray’s Parents Speak Out on GMA:

Jayna never mentioned the woman, Norwood to them. As the news broke of Jayna’s murder and spread thoughout the D.C. suburb that a killer was on the loose, Mrs. Murray said, “It’s the rumors that kill and it just burns you inside.” The family of Jayna Murray is healing through launching a foundation to remember the adventure seeking young women who loved to go bungee jumping. Jayna’s father reflects upon Jayna’s life stating, “One (Jayna) of the most fearless people I’ve every known in my life and that’s the objective as a father can get. I really admired her for everything she did and everything she represented.”

The family has created the Janya Troxel Murray Foundation to remember Janya’s life. For more information on the Janya Troxel Murray Foundation or to send a donation please send your donation to: The Janya Troxel Murray Foundation, P. O. Box 9492, The Woodlands, Texas 77387.

Keeping Jayna, family and friends in our thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

Your comments, feelings and thoughts are welcome. Please leave a comment.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

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  1. Sherry
    March 22, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    I got a lecture from a police officer, in a police station, about not opening the door to a stranger. My first thought (being a teenager at the time) was I’m in a police station, with several police officers, how much trouble could a stranger at the door be? That got me a HUGE lecture. Even in a police station, with obvious defenders, there is still possible danger, it just isn’t probable danger, and it pays to be proactive.
    Thanks for getting the message out.
    Sherry

  2. Donna Forde
    June 29, 2011 at 8:08 AM

    Anny,

    Before I became active for many causes, and started speaking my mind, I use to pray about what to do. Then I put my smartphone on alerts for just what you are asking us to do. My phone never stop beeping, and my browser was on 24/7, and I was never able to read everything that was sent, so I had to get on the computer to read them all. I am also a Criminal Justice student, and that was tough. But the more I got, the more God gave me the answer. Donna, there isn’t just one cause, there is many causes out there. So I decided to get together a network of resources, and I want to set up an ERP, so that we can all be on the networking system and be able to call in for the resource they need at any given time. I feel that we all share information on facebook, for our own cause. So why not set up a system where we can all help each other out. We can all donate a few minutes of our time for the better good of humanity, and the reform of our government. I pray daily and all day long and I know this sounds like a huge pipe dream, but some way some how, I WILL make this happen. I might be on my death bed by the time it all gets set up and is running smoothly, but I feel if we all work together, it can be done. I am only one, but “WE THE PEOPLE” are many, and can do all things through Christ Jesus. Thank you for allowing me to speak my mind on your blog.

    Sincerely,

    Donna M. Forde

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