Dating Violence IS Rampant; It’s Time to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee…

May 10, 2010

It’s Time to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee..

Dating violence is rampant and “It’s Time To Wake Up and Smell the Coffee” for parents, educators and females of all ages and our communities.  Get your heads out of the sand and stop thinking, “it won’t happen to me”, “my daughter is bright/smart-no one would ever harm her”.     The reality is…..anyone can be a victim and the sooner that everyone realizes this and starts to take pro-active measures and step up to educate and train our females in all respects the sooner we can make a solid attempt to stop abuse.  Education that she will have the rest of her life, SHE IS WORTHY AND DESERVES IT.  You (parents and girls) will have to take the first step to personal safety.

Yardly Love and George Hugely’s “U-VA Romance” was far from a “healthy dating relationship” as stated in an article.  The alleged muderer, Hugely has had run-ins with law enforcement and his family has admitted that he had/has “anger management issues”.  Do you honestly think that during the course of Love and Hugely’s relationship that he didn’t demonstrate “anger” in forms of emotional/verbal/mental and physical abuse (POWER AND CONTROL) toward Love?  As an Expert, I  say “OH HELL YES HE DID!”

There were signs throughout the relationship that were red flags/warning signs and most likely from the beginning.  Unfortunately and perhaps Love didn’t see or know the warning signs in order to bail before the abuse went way too far…………murder.  Yardley did not have to die to bring awareness to dating violence and abuse.  Dating violence and abuse is not new.  But education and training our females is new and absolutely necessary.

The abuse that transpired is not Love’s fault.  Love was a victim.  Who is to blame is the abuser, the system, parents, our communities, our education departments (middle schools/high schools/colleges).  Yes, I’ve said it and there’s no sugar here on this post.  We as a society have so much at our fingertips to at least attempt to cut abuse off at the chase that is not taken advantage of.  Ask yourself, why is that?

Abusers fail to see that they have a problem or issue; parents fail to see, turn their backs on the possibility that their son has an issue with anger management and the possibilities of where it may lead.  Our communities take a back seat, many don’t want to “get involved….it’s a family issue” – NO IT’S A DAMN COMMUNITY ISSUE.  We have an EPIDEMIC on our hands parents. And, your child is not surrounded by a bubble that will protect her for the rest of her life.  It is your job to provide the most available education in all areas for her in order to live a long and healthy life.

As for school systems…..well, it time for looking outside of the box and to make a decision.  Not one  school is sterile whereas dating violence is not happening in the halls, in the parking lots, dorms rooms, or campus apartments and even homes. Educators…it is your job to get involved.  Promote to educate our youth, females and males about all of the above.  And, take a step further EVERYONE………..GET THE FEMALES TRAINED IN ALL ASPECTS OF PERSONAL SAFETY.  Implement the training into their daily lives, it’s never too late.  Education that they will have forever just like math, english and driver’s ed.

A female does not have to take a “martial arts class”  years upon years to learn how to protect and defend herself.  Learning AWARENESS is the FIRST STEP OF ANY FORM OF SELF-DEFENSE.  However, we have to educate about awareness, introduce intuition and how to embrace it, safety tips as well as how they can use their bodies to protect and defend themselves “REALISTICALLY” if they should ever encounter a physical altercation.  This education is readily available to our young people and  it’s high time to make it happen.

Too many women are dying at the hands of their abusers and TIME’S UP……….the cycle of violence must be stopped. A female can be educated to heighten her awareness whereas all of her senses come to full alert. What is the difference between an healthy and unhealthy relationship.  Males must be educated as well by men who take a stance in the arena of Men Against Violence.

The type of ignorance that is demonstrated in our homes, schools and media serves no  justice for the victims that fall prey to any type of abuse.   In reality the topic of Domestic Violence, Dating Violence, Abuse, Stalking, Rape, etc. are NOT WARM AND FUZZY TOPICS that many wish to speak about.  Well……….it high time that WE START!  And, parents………..it all starts with you.

As an Expert I ask you this………..”How much is your daughter’s life worth?” Harsh but true.  Parents take action, it’s your J-O-B – trust me.

Please do not allow your daughter to become a statistic.  Let’s work together to bring safety and awareness to our young people – don’t they deserve it?

Keeping Yardley, her family and friends in our thoughts and prayers.

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  1. May 12, 2010 at 1:47 AM

    It’s time to know and learn personal safety tactics and techniques for use in bad times. Thanks for sharing.

    • May 12, 2010 at 9:50 AM

      Although I do not promote or support the use of weapons (guns, stun guns, pepper spray or mace = false security); I do promote home safety. Thank you for your support and Advocacy.

  1. May 13, 2010 at 9:37 AM
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