Murphy-Milano News!

What’s Going On!

Dear Friends,

Like everyone, I have my good and bad days.  On the mornings where I have to force myself from the warmth and comfort of my bed, I think to myself, ” is what I am doing all worth it?”  We are battling a legal system that clearly requires a total overhaul as it relates to intimate partner violence and homicide.  All it takes is a split second to remember my mothers lost battle to live without the threat of violence and I snap out of my funk.

The radio shows each week are having a profound impact on the lives of families and victims seeking justice.  For me to continue sounding the siren for justice in missing persons, unsolved homicides, suspicious deaths and intimate partner safety, I am asking for a moment of your time.  The shows, “Crime Wire”, “The Roth Show” and “Times Up!”  are 4 hours of national attention, exposure and accountability for victims and their families.  But what good are they if we do not promote them on our websites, social networks and places where the general public reads, on sites such as Nancy Grace, Geraldo at Large or CNN?  I see people writing on CNN iReports begging for justice on an unsolved or missing persons case, or trying to stay alive while living in a war zone in their homes behind closed doors.  Who is answering them?

Take the information from this newsletter by cutting, pasting and list the information on your sites.  Send it in a blast email to members in your community, places of worship and others seeking answers.  Give hope to those living without light as they search for answers.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Thank you and God Bless,

Susan

Thank you to all the listeners who helped get my show on the “Top Ten” of Zeus Radio Network!

 

National Conference for Missing Persons

Please plan to join me at the
CUE Center for Missing Persons Conference!

HOPE LIGHTS THE WAY

The 7th Annual National Round Table Conference
March 24th Thur 27th of 2011

To REGISTER and more information:
http://www.ncmissingpersons.org/national-conference-2/

Thursdays from 2pm to 4pm Eastern

The Susan Murphy Milano Show

“Time’s Up!”

Thursday, March 10

2pm-3pm:

Lynn Tolson

Author of “Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story”, a memoir about overcoming abuse and adversity. About mind, body, spirit transformation and a message of hope.

Joe Turner, father of murdered Chanda Turner, and spearheading the reform of the Oklahoma medical examiners office Senate Bill SB250 (www.justiceforthedead.com) will be calling in from the steps of the Oklahoma capital for a report on the progress of the bill.

3pm-4pm:
“Police Officer Involved Family Violence”

Guests:

Wives of police officeers, Bernadette Avila, Clara Colon and the family of  Nancy Rojo, who as a witnesses watched,  Sheriff Alexander Rojo pulled out a handgun and, without saying a word, shot his wife three times, stood over her and fired five more bullets, according to police. He then sat down on the street curb and shot himself.

 

Take care and STAY SAFE!

“Coming Home” on Lifetime…

The powerful all-new reality series “Coming Home,” featuring U.S. soldiers’ surprise family reunions after serving long tours of duty on behalf of the country, pays tribute to American armed forces personnel and their families. “Coming Home” will follow the unforgettable and inspiring surprise reunions of soldiers from all five branches of the military with their spouses, children, parents and other loved ones as they return home from active duty throughout the world.

Stacy Pendarvis  is a military wife and openly admits that she has “never been a good army wife” but has been steadfast and supportive of her husband Bill during his military career.  Stacy announced in February that her husband, Bill “FINALLY” officially filed retirement paperwork.  She does honestly say “a great soldier is ending a great run and I’m filled with pride, anticipation and excitement!

Today, Stacy posted the following thought provoking, heartfelt message on her Facebook page.  I would like to share words directly from a military wife.

Let me apologize in advance but this has been bugging me for a while and I have nowhere else to say it but FB, so you get it.   By now we all know I’m not the sticker sporting military wife…but lifetime is airing a show  ”Coming Home” tonight and I’m sure it will be a tear jerker and full of sweet moments…happy for their ratings, but….

When do we as a group of like-minded individuals, as a society in general, talk about the bad stuff happening in military families? The sad parts of deployment, the stress and trauma on those left behind, the marriages that break up, the stuff soldiers are going through from SO MANY deployments for SO LONG, and the stuff their wives are dealing with watching them deal with it…or NOT deal with it, the things the children are dealing with because their fathers are gone for years and years of their lives (and the things we’ve not even discovered yet that they will have to deal with from all of this)?????? I am so glad Bill is getting out but I still have friends saying goodbye and living with this and my heart aches for them… and when they say goodbye and cry, I cry…. who cares about the homecomings, they are so short-lived and we already know another deployment is looming. If people want to do something, do something real. Enough of this candy coated care package, say thank you stuff, it’s nice but what does it really do? what does thank you do for a closet alcoholic suffering in silence from PTSD whose life is falling apart who won’t get help? The military needs to step up their family support (mental health PREVENTION and TREATMENT, strengthening marriages and resiliency in children, etc…) We all think we’re fine… it’s an illusion for so many families. It doesn’t always end in tragic murders or abuse or even anything dramatic, although sadly too often it does…but years of separation and deployment takes it toll on kids even if we don’t see it happen oh so slowly and it probably takes its toll on the soldier and spouse as well even if they don’t have problems! If folks want to help, that’s where to do it.

Stacy’s holds a Master’s degree in Social Work and a Masters degree in Academic Psychology from East Carolina University; 15+ years experience in child/family services and child abuse prevention and has been a adjunct faculty member of Social work and Psychology at several North Carolina universities.

Thank you Stacy for allowing me to share your experience and most inner thoughts with fellow military families and with our country who really doesn’t get it in most cases.  ”Walk a mile in their shoes” and one will truly feel the toll that those who serve, and what spouses and children go through on a daily basis.

Take care and STAY SAFE!  Blessings my friend.

“Time’s Up” New Show Highlights Intimate Partner Violence, Missing Persons, and Cold Cases

Susan Murphy-Milano is a non-fiction author and violence expert—Host of a weekly radio show “Time’s Up” addresses real-life unsolved and missing person’s cases featuring family members of unsolved crimes, missing persons and intimate partner violence and  homicides. She is defender of victims’ rights. A radio show host, Susan has appeared on numerous shows including Oprah, 20/20, American Justice, A & E, Sunday Today, E True Hollywood, A & E, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN. As a nationally recognized women’s advocate, she was intrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lautenberg Act.

In 1989, after the murder of her mother by her father, a Chicago violent crimes detective, she vowed to change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides are handled and investigated.

The criteria for selecting cases relies heavily from a commitment of family members to pursue the case.

Case factors will include: the existence of suspects, persons of interest, witnesses and relevant documents; whether over time circumstances may have changed that will allow for additional witness cooperation; and whether there is new technology available to re-examine original evidence.

The families will be required to participate in the investigative effort by providing open and sincere assistance to include: submitting to interviews; providing necessary documentation and contact information of witnesses; facilitating interviews with witnesses or sources where appropriate; and signing required releases.

To be considered for a future show email us at timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Tune in each Thursday from 2-4ET for great guests, interesting conversations, and information on important topics relating to justice for victims of crime, missing persons or unsolved cases.

Brought to you by Here Women Talk Network and broadcast by Zeus Radio.

To listen live: http://zeusradio.com/station/hwt/

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of “Time’s Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships,” available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, “Time’s Up!” on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

www.imaginepublicity.com

 

So You Wanna Be an Internet Radio Star (Host and/or Guest)? TELECLASS Open to All

ImaginePublicity and Speaker Services are partnering for an information packed and fun filled teleclass.

What are you doing with your online presence?  Are you into ecommerce, issue oriented, the local internet “news” guy?

Have you created a fabulous website, blog and social media strategy, but want to step it up a notch?  Perhaps radio is for you!

Before you get visions of becoming the next Dr. Laura, Bill O’Reilly, or Rush Limbaugh, come back to Earth and figure out what’s involved!

• Are you satisfied with the reach of your web presence through your website, blog, and social media contacts?
• Are you getting enough hits on your blog or website that you feel your message is being heard or are your sales satisfactory?
• Who are you targeting, who will be your market?
• Will you have the time to devote to producing a quality product, consistently?

Internet radio broadcasting is like the wild, wild west and wide open for anyone and everyone to take advantage of, but what is it that will set you and your show apart from the vast sea of voices?  You can use the airwaves to sell a product, or to sell yourself, but how will you do it differently and is it really for you?

Decisions, decisions!

• Decide what you have to offer.  Do you have enough information in your “storehouse” to consistently be interesting and entertaining?
• Decide how often you wish to broadcast; daily, weekly, monthly or sporadically when you have something to say.
• Decide if your personality has the ability to shine.  Does your voice resonate with listeners or do you sound boring?
• Decide who you will want to target as listeners and how you will bring them into listening to you.

So what’s the Big Deal about Radio?

The benefits of internet radio are endless, but you must make the commitment to working it properly to see the positive outcome.

To learn more about what internet radio can do for you, ImaginePublicity and Speaker Services are partnering for an information packed and fun filled teleclass on Wednesday, January 26 at 7-8pm ET, 4-5pm PT.

REGISTER NOW

Teleclasses are complimentary for Speakers Community Members.  60 days free join now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WISHING EVERYONE A HEALTHY AND PROSPEROUS NEW 2011 YEAR……STAY SAFE!

“Cope With Hope” Getting Through the Holidays: Special Radio Series With Susan Murphy Milano

How often do we wake up in December and wish we could pull the covers back over our heads and skip right over the holiday season?

For whatever the reasons, many of us have a difficult time getting into the spirit of joy, and the holidays seem to make it worse.

During the hiatus of Susan’s show on Here Women Talk, from December 20 to December 30, she will be doing a one hour show each morning (Mon-Thurs) at 10am ET on BlogTalk Radio, to give those who need a boost for the day, something to help you through it, even if only a brief hour.

See the schedule below for the lineup of wonderful guests!   To listen LIVE CLICK HERE !   To call in with questions or comments:  347.326.9337

Day/Date Scheduled	Guests
Monday  12/20	Anne Peterson  Donna Tyson	Inspirational Writer  Radio Host: Rivers of Faith
Tuesday  12/21	Gaetane Borders  Sara Huizenga	President, Peas In Their Pods  Founder, Peace4 the Missing
Wednesday  12/22	Neil Schori	Pastor, Naperville Christian Church
Thursday  12/23	Gayle Crabtree  Cherry Simpson	Founder, Hope For Healing.Org  Victims Advocate and Activist, Nana
Monday  12/27	Sandra L. Brown, M.A.	CEO The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction
Tuesday  12/28	Jillian Maas Backman	Intuitive Life Coach, Author, Radio Host
Wednesday  12/29	Vicki Childs  Anny Jacoby	Private Investigator  Personal Safety Coach
Thursday  12/30	Janet Hosmer, Phd  Pamela Chapman	Certified Health Coach  Founder, iAscend Programs, Life Coach

 

Telling Amy’s Story — It’s Time to Talk

On November 19, 2010, a 20-year-old college student named Jenni-Lyn Watson was killed while she was home in New York for Thanksgiving break. Police arrested her 21-year-old ex-boyfriend, who they say was upset about Watson’s wishes to end their relationship. Police say he had left her body in a park near her home, hidden under debris.

Jenni-Lyn’s murder is a harsh reminder of the tragic reach of intimate partner violence in the United States. It also highlights the timeliness and urgency of a documentary called Telling Amy’s Story. Produced by Penn State Broadcasting and funded by the Verizon Foundation, the film tells the story of Amy Homan-McGee, a 33-year-old mother of two who was killed by her husband in 2001 when she decided to leave him after suffering years of abuse. While Amy’s four-year-old and seven-month-old sons waited in the car with her mother, Amy entered her home to retrieve some of her belongings. Her husband, Vincent McGee, was waiting for her and fatally shot her in the head.

By laying bare one woman’s story and the many opportunities to alter its outcome, Telling Amy’s Story has the power to educate, heal, empower and — most importantly — save lives. Mariska Hargitay had the great privilege of working on the film, and it has aired on nearly 300 public television stations, reaching markets covering 85 percent of the United States population.

Liz Claiborne Inc. is also in the process of releasing data from their 2010 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll in conjunction with their groundbreaking “Its Time to Talk Day”. The survey found that 41 percent of dating freshmen and seniors have experienced violence and abusive dating behaviors in their lifetime, with more than half of those surveyed saying they have difficulty identifying what constitutes dating abuse.

These statistics from Liz Claiborne Inc., a longtime leader in the fight to end domestic violence, add important new details to what we already know: One in three women will experience physical or sexual abuse in her lifetime. More than 32 million Americans are affected by domestic violence each year. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States, with women aged 16-24 most vulnerable to intimate partner violence. And three women — women from every walk of life, women like Amy Homan-McGee — are murdered by their intimate partners every day.

Mariska learned about domestic, intimate-partner and sexual violence when she started working on Law & Order: SVU. Viewers started sending her letters: “Hi, my name is Sarah. I’m 42 years old. My husband has been beating me for seven years, and I have never told anyone.” In response to the realities these letters gave voice to, Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004.  They have helped more than 5000 survivors find healing, education and empowerment through our retreat and wellness programs, and she is so proud that Joyful Heart is part of a movement that will change the way we talk about and behave around these epidemics.

Telling Amy’s Story and Liz Claiborne’s College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll are making important, bold and timely contributions to that movement. You have the power to do the same. Become the person in your community — perhaps the first, hopefully the first among many — who knows the signs of domestic and intimate partner violence, who knows how to respond to a victim with compassion and wisdom, and who knows how participate in creating a society where perpetrators will not be allowed to abuse with impunity and without consequence.

Learn more about intimate partner violence at LoveIsNotAbuse.com. Find airdates for “Telling Amy’s Story” here. And, most importantly, if you or someone you know needs help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224, or go to TheHotline.org.

You have the power to save lives.

Respectfully submitted via Huffingtonpost and Actress, Mariska Hargitay

“Time’s Up”…Stop Allowing Someone to Victimize You!

Susan Murphy-Milano

Before you announce your thoughts about how unhappy you are or that the relationship simply is not working for you any longer, have a solid plan in place. Women often fail to plan ahead in leaving, underestimating what the abuser can and actually ends up doing.
Susan Powell Example

Susan Powell, a married stockbroker and is a devoted mother to two young sons. Over time, Susan’s husband Josh became more and more controlling. Their marriage deteriorated. At this point in a relationship, many abusers begin to formulate a plan born of anger and desperation.

This plan remains in the abuser’s mind until they notice subtle signs of movement. Perhaps Josh walked into the room as Susan whispered into the phone. When she realized he was in the room, she quickly changed her tone or ended the phone call. Perhaps he learned Susan set up a bank account, and decided she was hiding money so she and the kids could leave.

The signs of movement spark Josh, or any potential abuser, to think of the next level. They think to themselves, “OK, she is going to leave me. I will not let that happen”. He acts as though nothing is wrong. When she goes to sleep, however, Josh leaps into action. He may:

•rummage through her car looking for evidence of her plan–a bank receipt or an unusual transaction or charge
•check her cell phone for any unusual numbers he does not recognize
•search her computer, checking to see which websites she visited

He finds something. Inwardly his anger skyrockets and his heart races. Outwardly, he remains calm and says nothing to Susan. A smile comes to his face. He “caught her,” and he figures in the future, she will pay one way or another.

Susan begins to email a trusted circle of friends about Josh’s abuse and threats. Maybe she keeps a detailed log containing dates and times of the incidents.

Next, Josh does what I label the “smell change.” Susan acts strangely. Josh, like most abusers, literally senses, or “smells” when his environment has shifted. Perhaps Susan verbalizes her unhappiness more often. Maybe she stands up for herself during a fight, where months before she would have backed down and gone to her room without incident.

Most abused women have difficulty hiding that “spark of empowerment” from a clever abuser. The abuser smells the spark, like a fox scents prey as he enters a coop full of chickens.

On December 7, 2009, Susan Powell of Utah disappeared. Law enforcement personnel consider her husband Josh a person of interest.

Susan Powell’s case appears no different from millions of cases of intimate partner violence we never hear about, until women disappear and someone finds their bodies. Often no “official documentation” of the abuse exists because the terrified women did not contact police or obtain a court order of protection. Why? Better than anyone, the victims know the court order of protection would not help. The court order of protection would only escalate the level of danger.

[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth http://www.therothshow.com/) ]

Florence + The Machine – Kiss With A Fist

How can others condone any song that trivializes domestic violence?

Florence and the Machine single, Kiss With A Fist was featured on their 2009 Mercury Prize-nominated album, Lungs.  I am not a fan of Florence nor listen to Pop often but this song has resurfaced in our arena and needs a friendly reminder.

Originally, a great deal of confusion surrounded the song’s meaning. With lyrics such as “broke your jaw once before”, “split your blood upon the floor”, “you smashed a plate over my head”, “you gave a kick” and “I gave a slap” – the song was thought by many to be based on domestic violence, which Florence denied.

Florence explained the song’s meaning on her MySpace page:

“Kiss with a Fist” is NOT a song about domestic violence. It is about two people pushing each other to psychological extremes because they are fighting but they still love each other. The song is not about one person being attacked, or any actual physical violence, there are no victims in this song. Sometimes the love two people have for each other is a destructive force. But they can’t have it any other way, because it’s what holds them together, they enjoy the drama and pushing each other’s buttons. The only way to express these extreme emotions is with extreme imagery, all of which is fantasism and nothing in the song is based on reality. Leona Lewis’s “Bleeding Love” isn’t actually about her bleeding and this song isn’t actually about punching someone in the mouth.”

Florence further elaborated on her inspiration behind the song:

“I was 16 or 17 when I wrote this. I’d just fallen in love for the first time, and I’d also started hanging out with an older group of people, watching how their relationships worked. There was this one couple who were so cool, but so visceral and so intense. The guy never hit the girl, but I saw her lamp him a couple of times, and she’d always give as good as she got. But it wasn’t really physical violence, it was more about the fact that their animal passion for each other was the thing that was attractive for them. It was how joyful destruction can be, and how alluring it is to be in a relationship so fiery. There was never a dull moment when they were around. I don’t know how they do it! I’m a conflict avoider. I think I write about such intense things because I’m actually really bad at expressing anger.”

I personally question the song contrary to Florence’s explanations, artists and producers who have promoted the song, “Whatever the meaning, this is an exhilarating debut single” stated by MusicOMH.

It is so sad that so many people DO NOT know all of the types of abuse.  The majority of individuals when asked,  ”what is the first thing that pops into their brain when I say the words “domestic violence or dating violence”? They immediately go to the physical aspect of abuse.  The black and blue bruises, the fat lip, the black eye….unfortunately there is so much education that needs to be spread about all forms of abuse.

Ms. Florence needs to be educated about the different forms of abuse as well as the warning signs and red flags.  An individual can be physically abused without even being hit. The continuous abuse in the forms of drama, emotional turmoil, stress, verbal abuse ALWAYS leads to physical abuse (hair loss, weight loss/gain, ulcers, IBS, headaches, acid reflux, etc.), “pushing each other’s buttons” leads to stress and stress takes a toll on one’s body.

How can you state that “it wasn’t really physical violence” when you saw a female “lamp him” when you were a teenager?  The was physical violence.  It’s NOT okay for a female to hit a male or vice versa.  The “animal passion” that you refer to IS DESTRUCTIVE.  It will not stop.  The impulsive behavior will lead to paths of destruction of both either together or in other relationships.

It is imperative to educate our communities and our children as to what is a healthy relationship vs. an unhealthy relationship.  This song is all about domestic violence and dating violence.  Florence’s  inspiration for writing this song is domestic violence even though she thinks/feels differently as to how individuals should treat once another.

It truly amazes me how artists get paid millions for producing such garbage and the fact that they are role models for so many people!  Why would anyone pay anything to listen to a violence-encouraging song?  To name a few artists that are and have benefited are, Rihanna, Girls Gone Bad, Rihanna accepts her fate as a now “bad girl” and uses her former abuses to justify her own future misbehavior; Russian Roulette,the music video featuring her being subjugated by a man with a gun and at one point, run over by his car.  Later in the video she gets shot through the neck while she’s writhing underwater; Rihanna and Eminem (Love The Way You Lie-), the song ends with Rihanna singing the chorus and reaffirming that she not only takes but somehow enjoys the abusive treatment she routinely gets; Sting, Every Breath You Take; The Beatles, Run For Your Life; Metallica, Die, Die My Darling; Eminem, Just The Two of Us and Jarvic Church, Run For Your Life.

A year later this song along with others are still on the air waves blasting on stereos and is extremely disturbing as it sure as hell promotes domestic violence and dating violence.  Some have even made it to the number one spot on the charts!

Singing about withstanding abuse and even coming back for more is not the message we want to be sending teenaged young women who find themselves in similar situations.  Not to mention it isn’t a good message to send to men: treat your women terribly and even the most seemingly gorgeous and successful ones will stick by your side.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Anny

AWN Pepsi Refresh Project…NEEDS YOUR VOTE!

AWN Pepsi Refresh Project

From Executive Director,  Sharon daVanport.

Greetings and welcome to the Autism Women’s Network. AWN is dedicated to building a community of autistic females, their families, friends, and supporters who have a place where they can share their experiences amongst a diverse, inclusive, and supportive environment.  We invite you to take a look around and join us today.

Pepsi is giving away millions in grants to refresh individuals and communities, PepsiREFRESHproject.  The PepsiREFRESHproject is looking for people, businesses and non-profits with ideas that will have a positive impact in communities and want to make changes.  Awards range from $5K to $250K.

PLEASE VOTE Daily for _{AWN Project FAIM [Female Autistic Insight Mentoring]}

VOTE Daily for _{AWN Project FAIM} ^{[Female Autistic Insight Mentoring]}

If you are a BLOGGER or have your own WEBSITE, please go to our AWN Pepsi Project Page and pick up a widget on the right hand side of the page to place on your webpage. THANK YOU!

AWN appreciates your daily support. Please vote for our Pepsi Grant Project by simply clicking on the following link and casting your VOTE daily: AWN Project FAIM

VOTING for AWN Project FAIM can be done via cell phone: Text* 101500 to Pepsi (73774)

Thank you friends!

AWN’s Project FAIM [Female Autism Insight Mentoring]

_{AWN Project FAIM} ^{[Female Autistic Insight Mentoring]} _{Workshops will be the 1st of its kind.}

---

We plan to set up 5 Project FAIM Workshops across the USA which will focus on qualities specific to females on the autism spectrum. Topics will include: peer supports, adolescence, adult life, relationships, vulnerabilities, and successful communications.
• Project FAIM Workshops will include active supports and information for everyone (autistics, parents, educators, etc.)

• The participants will meet renowned autistic females whereby gaining valuable insight.

• We will secure the Autism Women’s Network non-profit status so we can continue to provide Community Events, online Forum support & E-Mentoring as well as our AWN Radio Show.

How will the 50K be Used?
Budget Notes: salaries for workshop coordinators
$ 25,000	materials, speakers, rent space for workshops
$ 7,500	web development, maintenance, and online support
$ 5,000	legal fees to secure non-profit status
$ 12,500	administrative costs (incl. transportation)