“It’s Time To Get Your Head Out Of The Sand…”

Becoming educated makes a person more understanding, more aware and more comfortable with the truth.  I am personally becoming more and more appalled with parents that do exactly what is displayed in the picture above.  And, then I get phone calls and emails that their daughters have been assaulted and asked to help them through the system at the schools and law enforcement departments.  Makes me shake my head and ask………”Didn’t you even take the opportunity to check into the crimes stats BEFORE even visiting? Or, spend a some money on giving her the education and advantage of personal safety?”  The majority of the time is “NO”.

It is time for females AND parents to get their heads out of the sand, understand the myths (excuses) and learn the facts (reality) of “realisitic” personal safety training/self-defense and to become proactive. There is not one form of personal safety training/self-defense that is 100% guaranteed. Weapons of every kind are not a guarantee either (we’ll look at this too). However, with education at least you may be able to detect (awareness), learn the ability to de-escalate a potentially dangerous situation and ultimately if a physical altercation occurs you will be better equipped with the knowledge of “realistic” defense.

We all have excuses for things in our lives that we don’t do or spend too much time doing. These excuses serve as deterrents preventing us from following through with action and benefits. When you begin to understand or experience the consequences of your excuses you get a really good reality check. This reality check (wake-up call) usually changes your way of thinking automatically.

The “myth concept” not only affects many areas in our lives but also has the same influence in the personal safety training/self-defense world. These myths make females apprehensive toward or opposed to personal safety training/self-defense.

A myth can be and often is used as an excuse for not doing something. 

The attitude, “it won’t happen to me” is a huge myth; every female should look in the mirror and realize that victimization does not discriminate. This is just plain ignorance if you believe that the possibility that you cannot be a victim is true. You have to debunk the thought that learning personal safety training/self-defense carries negative characteristics (aggression, arrogance, or violence). And, by not understanding that if trained properly to obtain the mental and physical abilities that you can possibly prevent or de-escalate an attack is a total underestimation on your part.

When we begin to understand the facts=reality of these myths=excuses we begin to understand objectives, the effectiveness and the technique of personal safety training/self-defense. We can save our life or the life of someone we love. We can prevent ourselves from becoming a statistic of crime. As I stated above, personal safety training/self-defense is not a guaranteed free pass from crime; however, your chances of survival and the ability to detect a possible altercation are increased significantly.

Becoming educated your level of awareness increases or is heightened, your intuition (gut instincts) are better in tune and your physical abilities are sharpened so that your chances of being attacked, raped or murdered are statistically lessened. You won’t broadcast that you know “self-defense” but you won’t walk down a certain street or in an area when your instincts (gut) kicks in and tells you to turn back. When someone grabs you from behind you won’t freeze but immediately your reaction will be to fight back upon recognition of your window of opportunity. You will see that a seemingly hopeless and defenseless situation has more opportunities for defense than you could have ever imagined.

Personal safety training/self-defense is NOT about being paranoid, it IS about being smart!

Knowledge is a powerful tool.

Stop making excuses and do something powerful for yourself and your loved ones – obtain Personal Safety Training. Training (mind, body and soul) that you will have for the rest of your life.

How can any parent put a price tag on the life of their daughter?  Why wouldn’t you want your daughter in high school/middle school and especially college bound to be educated?

Question……beside looking at the pretty websites and visiting University after University…..has anyone truly looked in the stats of these schools as to their crime stats via The Jean Cleary Act or Title IX?  Parents…..do your homework.  In my book……………NO CAMPUS IS CRIME FREE AND THE NUMBER OF FEMALE STUDENTS BEING ASSAULTED (BY SOMEONE THEY KNOW OR RANDOM) IS OFF THE CHARTS.  Parents……give your daughter the tools for her tool belt, give her the opportunity that she will have for the rest of her life.  No parent wants to receive “that phone call”; trust me.  (*Again, no personal safety course is 100% guaranteed, but even if she gains 50% knowledge of what she never had to begin with isn’t that worth something?)  Think about…………long and hard.  Again, can you honestly put a price tag on your daughter’s life?  Most parents answer is “NO”.

How can any female NOT want to be proactive and at least have the knowledge of COULD happen if I don’t know personal safety?  Personal safety is so much more than watching a DVD in your livingroom – it is truly about education and ultimately physically how to protect oneself.  Girls talk to your parents……this is an exciting time but you guys have to know the possibilities and reality.  Not to “scare” you but you have to know the odds and know how to handle situations.

Parents – get involved in your daughter’s safety during college.  Parents or Gals……contact me for details as we are gearing up our tour to bring personal safety training (6 hours on one weekend day) to communities everywhere! Organizers of training’s will train for FREE!

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Murphy-Milano News!

What’s Going On!

Dear Friends,

Like everyone, I have my good and bad days.  On the mornings where I have to force myself from the warmth and comfort of my bed, I think to myself, ” is what I am doing all worth it?”  We are battling a legal system that clearly requires a total overhaul as it relates to intimate partner violence and homicide.  All it takes is a split second to remember my mothers lost battle to live without the threat of violence and I snap out of my funk.

The radio shows each week are having a profound impact on the lives of families and victims seeking justice.  For me to continue sounding the siren for justice in missing persons, unsolved homicides, suspicious deaths and intimate partner safety, I am asking for a moment of your time.  The shows, “Crime Wire”, “The Roth Show” and “Times Up!”  are 4 hours of national attention, exposure and accountability for victims and their families.  But what good are they if we do not promote them on our websites, social networks and places where the general public reads, on sites such as Nancy Grace, Geraldo at Large or CNN?  I see people writing on CNN iReports begging for justice on an unsolved or missing persons case, or trying to stay alive while living in a war zone in their homes behind closed doors.  Who is answering them?

Take the information from this newsletter by cutting, pasting and list the information on your sites.  Send it in a blast email to members in your community, places of worship and others seeking answers.  Give hope to those living without light as they search for answers.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Thank you and God Bless,

Susan

Thank you to all the listeners who helped get my show on the “Top Ten” of Zeus Radio Network!

 

National Conference for Missing Persons

Please plan to join me at the
CUE Center for Missing Persons Conference!

HOPE LIGHTS THE WAY

The 7th Annual National Round Table Conference
March 24th Thur 27th of 2011

To REGISTER and more information:
http://www.ncmissingpersons.org/national-conference-2/

Thursdays from 2pm to 4pm Eastern

The Susan Murphy Milano Show

“Time’s Up!”

Thursday, March 10

2pm-3pm:

Lynn Tolson

Author of “Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story”, a memoir about overcoming abuse and adversity. About mind, body, spirit transformation and a message of hope.

Joe Turner, father of murdered Chanda Turner, and spearheading the reform of the Oklahoma medical examiners office Senate Bill SB250 (www.justiceforthedead.com) will be calling in from the steps of the Oklahoma capital for a report on the progress of the bill.

3pm-4pm:
“Police Officer Involved Family Violence”

Guests:

Wives of police officeers, Bernadette Avila, Clara Colon and the family of  Nancy Rojo, who as a witnesses watched,  Sheriff Alexander Rojo pulled out a handgun and, without saying a word, shot his wife three times, stood over her and fired five more bullets, according to police. He then sat down on the street curb and shot himself.

 

Take care and STAY SAFE!

New form of domestic abuse: forced pregnancy

A different kind of domestic violence has been identified: pressuring a woman to have a child against her will. It’s called “reproductive coercion” and according to a survey released this week, it’s fairly common among victims of abuse.

One in four women who called the The National Domestic Violence Hotline said they were pressured to into having unprotected sex. Some were pushed into sex with out a condom, others had their pills flushed down the toilet or holes poked in their condoms.

This is not your standard “maybe we should try for another” pressure, according to Esta Soler, president of the Family Violence Prevention Fund. It’s a deliberate act of control on partner’s body. “Birth control sabotage is a serious form of control that leads to unintended pregnancy and sexual transmitted infections,” says Soler, according to Ms. Magazine.

As a victim of physical abuse, the built-in fear of angering her partner had one woman sneaking her pill in the bathroom and another worried her boyfriend would be “furious” she got her period, according to The New York Times report on the survey.

Soler explains the phenomenon of pregnancy pressure as a way to “a way to trap or control their partner.” Here were the questions raised in the survey related to reproductive coercion:

• “Has your partner or ex ever told you not to use any birth control?”
• “Has your partner or ex-partner ever tried to force or pressure you to become pregnant?”
• “Has your partner or ex ever made you have sex without a condom so that you would get pregnant?”

Of the women who answered yes to these questions, 79 percent also were victims of physical abuse.

Respectfully submitted via Shine by Piper Weiss

 

“Time’s Up” New Show Highlights Intimate Partner Violence, Missing Persons, and Cold Cases

Susan Murphy-Milano is a non-fiction author and violence expert—Host of a weekly radio show “Time’s Up” addresses real-life unsolved and missing person’s cases featuring family members of unsolved crimes, missing persons and intimate partner violence and  homicides. She is defender of victims’ rights. A radio show host, Susan has appeared on numerous shows including Oprah, 20/20, American Justice, A & E, Sunday Today, E True Hollywood, A & E, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN. As a nationally recognized women’s advocate, she was intrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lautenberg Act.

In 1989, after the murder of her mother by her father, a Chicago violent crimes detective, she vowed to change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides are handled and investigated.

The criteria for selecting cases relies heavily from a commitment of family members to pursue the case.

Case factors will include: the existence of suspects, persons of interest, witnesses and relevant documents; whether over time circumstances may have changed that will allow for additional witness cooperation; and whether there is new technology available to re-examine original evidence.

The families will be required to participate in the investigative effort by providing open and sincere assistance to include: submitting to interviews; providing necessary documentation and contact information of witnesses; facilitating interviews with witnesses or sources where appropriate; and signing required releases.

To be considered for a future show email us at timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Tune in each Thursday from 2-4ET for great guests, interesting conversations, and information on important topics relating to justice for victims of crime, missing persons or unsolved cases.

Brought to you by Here Women Talk Network and broadcast by Zeus Radio.

To listen live: http://zeusradio.com/station/hwt/

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of “Time’s Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships,” available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, “Time’s Up!” on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

www.imaginepublicity.com

 

Lawmaker proposes relabeling rape victims as ‘accusers’

Victim:

Someone who has been harmed, injured or killed as the result of a crime.

Crime:

An illegal activity or action.

A Georgia state lawmaker with a history of operating on the political fringe has filed a bill stripping the term “victim” from rape, stalking and domestic violence cases.

Rep. Bobby Franklin, a Republican from the Atlanta suburb of Cobb County, filed the bill in November but it only recently came to public attention.

Franklin’s bill would eliminate the word “victim” from statutes dealing with stalking, rape, obscene telephone contact with a child and family violence and replace it with “accuser.”

It also strikes the word “victim” from statutes dealing with electronic pretrial monitoring, HIV testing of criminal defendants and pretrial discovery, the exchange of crucial information between attorneys prior to the start of a criminal trial.

It wasn’t clear why Franklin’s legislation includes only those specific laws, or whether it would affect how people who file complaints about other crimes, such as child molestation, assault or theft might be described.

Franklin did not return a telephone message or e-mail to his office on Monday.

The proposed change angered some who felt that Franklin meant the legislation as an attack on rape victims and on women, who comprise the overwhelming majority of victims of sexual assault.

“I am dismayed … angry … and shocked by your wacked out ideologies concerning VICTIMS of rape,” one commenter wrote on Franklin’s Facebook page.

Carolyn Fiddler, the communications director for the Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee, wrote on the organization’s website that the legislation diminishes rape victims by questioning whether what happened to them is even a crime.

“Burglary victims are still victims. Assault victims are still victims. Fraud victims are still victims,” she wrote. “But if you have the misfortune to suffer a rape, or if you are beaten by a domestic partner, or if you are stalked, Rep. Franklin doesn’t think you have been victimized.”

In an interview with CNN Monday, Fiddler said she would like to think that Franklin didn’t mean to diminish rape victims with the legislation. But she said the language displayed a “lack of empathy and awareness.”

There is some merit in the idea of neutralizing legal and courtroom language to help focus potential jurors on the facts of a case, instead of the emotions raised by issues of rape and similar offenses, said Russell Gabriel, director of the University of Georgia School of Law’s Criminal Defense Clinic.

Respectfully submitted via the CNN Wire Staff

 

SIGNS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Dr. Jill Murray is a best-selling author and practicing psychotherapist. She can speak about these topics in relationship to breaking news and more:

Teen dating abuse: Abusive dating relationships are at an epidemic rate with far-reaching implications for further violence both in personally and in society at large.  The culture teens are now living in make these relationships appear to be normal. 1:3 girls and 1:5 boys will be in a physically abusive relationship by the time they graduate from high school.

I have to admit that I talk a lot about abusive/unhealthy relationships on this website. So much so that you now know what a bad relationship looks like, but perhaps you are confused as to what you should be looking for!

Here are the eight signs of a good partnership. As you read this, understand that every one of these are necessary, not just a few. Also, remember that you must GIVE and RECEIVE them all.

1. HONESTY AND ACCOUNTABILITY – This means that both partners accept responsibility for their own actions and don’t blame them on others. If there is a need to change, they do so for their own emotional growth and not because their partner is nagging.
2. NONTHREATENING BEHAVIOR – This includes talking and acting in a way that makes your partner feel safe to express herself/himself. There is a commitment not to use threats or manipulative actions.
3. NEGOTIATION AND FAIRNESS – Do both partners seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict? Are they accepting of change? Are they willing to compromise?
4. COMMUNICATION – We have all heard the term “open lines of communication.” This implies that both partners talk openly and truthfully. They are able to be honest with themselves and about their own feelings.
5. SHARED RESPONSIBILITY – Both partners make decisions together. If a job has to be done, they share it as equally as possible.
6. RESPECT- Aretha Franklin had the right idea! Without respect, and our next sign, trust, there is no relationship. When you respect your partner, you listen non-judgmentally. You value each other’s opinions and are emotionally affirming and understanding.
7. TRUST AND SUPPORT- This means that you support each other’s goals. You also respect each others’ right to individual feelings, friends, activities, and opinions. You do the hard work of overcoming your own feelings of jealousy, envy or resentment.
8. INDEPENDENCE AND AUTONOMY- Both partners are aware of their own dependency needs and don’t foist it on their partner or make them responsible for it. They can be apart and be happy. They can do activities separately with friends of the opposite sex and be fine.

I hope you have been able to find your own relationship in this exercise. If you have a few of these signs—but not all—in your relationship, now would be a good time to print out this list and show it to your partner, asking for a commitment to working on the relationship together to make it even better..

Dr. Murray

Anny Jacoby Featured on PI Answers with Host, Vicki Childs, PI via ImaginePublcity

PI Answers From Vicki Childs, PI on Here Women Talk Network broadcast by Zeus Radio

Thursday, February 3, 11am-12noon ET

Join Vicki Childs, Private Investigator, former Federal Agent, Masters in Criminal Justice, Director of the South Carolina Association of Legal Investigators, 1996 investigator of the year, and 2009 Who’s Who Award winner.  Vicki and her guests reveal secrets of confirming adultery, pre-marital backgrounds, checking on your nanny; the latest technologies available to investigators and everyday people (personal GPS devices, etc.); how to protect yourself, your children, your privacy, your computer and more. For 24 years she has conducted civil and criminal investigations in many states and outside the U.S.  Join her to learn about the interesting world of private investigations through examples of her own cases and with guests who are experts in many areas.  The phone lines will be open for Vicki and her guests to answer all your questions from personal safety to crime-related issues to tools you can use to be safer and make more informed decisions.

Find Vicki at http://www.blazerinvestigative.com/home.asp

Anny Jacoby

Anny Jacoby, Owner/President of The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company and Project Safe Girls, passionately campaigns for every female to have the absolute right to protect and defend herself.

After surviving her own assault, Anny took steps to turn her passion to help victims into her life’s work. After several years of volunteer advocacy she founded her company based on a realistic approach for females to protect themselves, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, building confidence and self esteem.

Anny’s mission is to reach out to every avenue available to teach these skills at the corporate level, to emergency services, victim support groups and agencies, schools, colleges and health service providers. Her professional programs are designed for every age group from children to seniors, as well as a program designed specifically for the disabled.

Anny has added a new division to her company, Project Safe Girls in 2010.

Joining Anny Jacoby as a guest is Lisa Lambeth, Instructor: Lisa began her federal career as a federal law enforcement officer in Dallas, Texas, where she worked for 15 years.  Most of those years she spent working cases involving high level drug dealers, career white collar offenders, gang members, violent offenders and organized crime members. It was in this position that she worked on numerous task force operations including the Domestic Terrorism Task Force, the Asian Gang Task Force and The Russian Organized Crime Task Force.  She also served as an assistant firearms instructor for 15 years.

Listen Live! Call in or Chat Live!

http://zeusradio.com/station/hwt/

UVA Lacrosse Murder: New Charges Filed Against George Huguely in Death of Yeardley Love

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (CBS/WTVR/AP) George Huguely, the former University of Virginia lacrosse player being held on a first-degree murder charge for the death of Yeardley Love, has been charged with an additional five counts.

UVA Lacrosse Murder: New Charges Filed Against George Huguely in Death of Yeardley Love

Charlottesville Commonwealth’s Attorney Dave Chapman filed the new charges of felony murder, robbery, burglary, statutory burglary, and grand larceny against the 22-year-old Friday.

Huguely waived his right to appear by video at a brief hearing Monday morning when the new charges were entered into the record in Charlottesville General District Court, reports CBS affiliate WTVR.

Charlottesville police have charged Huguely with first-degree murder in the death of his ex-girlfriend and fellow classmate Yeardley Love. Huguely claims the death was an accident.

Upset over their recent break-up, Huguely allegedly broke into Love’s apartment May 3 and shook her while her head struck the wall.

Police say Huguely admitted that he saw blood dripping from 22-year-old’s nose before he pushed her back down on her bed, stole her computer which contained e-mails exchanged between the two, and fled.

Huguely has been in solitary confinement in a Charlottesville jail for the past seven months while awaiting his Jan. 21 preliminary hearing. The hearing has since been postponed to a date still to be determined.

Respectfully submitted via Crimesider (CBS)

The Spartan Army & Spartan Training Gear – Strategic Corporate Alliance

We’re extremely pleased and honored to announce a strategic corporate alliance with The Spartan Army and Spartan Training Gear.

 

The Hoplite Training Armour is now the official gear of Project Safe Girls, The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company and Anny Jacoby’s entire training team.

Our instructors only use Hoplite Training Armour™ by Spartan Training Gear for training to provide true “active/dynamic” scenarios where speed, mobility and realistic tactics must be present.  Hoplite Training Armour™ allow our instructors while role-playing to move with natural movement and the “actual size” of the attacker is proportional to a real man, the result: what you do in training replicates what you must do in a real confrontation.

Spartan Training Gear™ is a warrior lifestyle brand designed and engineered for fighters. It was created for the modern-day warriors who fight on the battlefield. In the streets. In the cage. It’s for anyone that embraces combat or training as a visceral part of their life. It’s for the unconquerable spirit of men and women who can look into the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, dig in their heels and yell ‘Come get some!’.

It’s that attitude that drove the founders of Spartan Training Gear™ to look beyond industry standards. To look beyond what was ‘good enough’. We looked at the list of usual suspects and decided you deserved better. So our design engineers, with over 50 years of combined manufacturing and military/law enforcement sales experience, set out to create the ultimate in warrior-styled training gear. We set out to make a product unlike any other. Something worthy of the name ‘Spartan’. Something that would not only protect, but that would invoke strength and authority. The result: Hoplite Training Armour™. The world’s preeminent Multi-Purpose Combat Training Equipment.

At Spartan, our goal is to unleash your inner warrior through the synthesis of combat, science and style. The soul of our brand is embodied in the soldiers, officers and martial artists who trust Spartan Training products to provide them with the best protective training gear ever developed.

Spartan Training Gear also provides our instructors with realistic information about a student’s psycho-physical response time and reactions under true pressure.  Spartan Training Gear does not interfere with the students technical or tactical choices; the ability to make contact with a realistic target while in motion is a byproduct of the Spartan Training Gear design.

The Hoplite Training Armour™ line of products represent our commitment to quality and excellence.

The Hoplite Training Armour™ is not bulky nor heavy.  The Hoplite Training Armour™ allows an instructor to move realistically rather than standing in place. Without this ability the student is not capable of obtaining necessary mental blueprints of real-life reactions. The Hoplite Training Armour™ does not distort realistic targets for the student allowing training to simulate as the same as in the street.

Tony Torres, the founder of Functional Edge Combat Sports & Fitness, provided an impromptu video testimonial for the new Hoplite Training Armour.

Oversize suits for instructors do not allow for important closure of the close quarter struggle.   Spartan Training Gear is designed so that scenarios can be taken to another level of reality.  Oversize suits do not allow training in realistic environments like vehicles, elevators, small rooms, corridors, etc.; Spartan Training Gear allows our creative instructors to take the gear into realistic environments.

REDMAN, FIST, etc. suits are excellent suits for training students in technique and power but their applications for dynamic and realistic situations are limited and any qualified trainer can identify the pro’s and con’s of each suit. Professionally, we do not consider them to be true “active/dynamic” scenario suits, where speed, mobility and realistic tactics must be present. They are not force-on-force suits.  This is not a put down, merely a distinction.  Many products are designed for completely different applications and functions.

You can find out more information about The Spartan Army and Spartan Training gear here: http://on.fb.me/flwuit

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WISHING EVERYONE A HEALTHY AND PROSPEROUS NEW 2011 YEAR……STAY SAFE!