Death penalty sought the murder of Shaniya Davis…

Fayetteville, Cumberland County, North Carolina prosecutors said Wednesday that they plan to seek the death penalty against the man charged with killing a 5-year-old Fayetteville girl, Shaniya Davis almost two years ago but not against the girl’s mother.

Mario Andrette McNeill, 30, has been charged with murder, kidnapping and rape in the death of Shaniya Davis, whose body was found in a kudzu patch near the Lee-Harnett county line on Nov. 16, 2009, six days after her mother, Antoinette Nicole Davis, reported her missing from their Fayetteville home.

Authorities believe Antoinette Davis is complicit in her daughter’s death. Arrest warrants stated that she “did knowingly provide Shaniya with the intent that she be held in sexual servitude” and “did permit an act of prostitution with Shaniya.”

An autopsy determined that Shaniya died of asphyxiation and that injuries she suffered were consistent with a sexual assault. A medical examiner noted in the autopsy that investigators believe the girl was used to pay off a drug debt.

A Cumberland County grand jury indicted Antoinette Davis in July on charges of first-degree murder, indecent liberties with a child, felony child abuse, felony sexual servitude, rape of a child, sexual offense of a child by an adult offender, human trafficking and making a false police report.

She was arraigned Wednesday, and a judge set her bond on the murder charge at $2 million. Bonds totaling $1.5 million were set previously on the other charges.

McNeill, whom police have described as a friend of the family, is being held without bond at Central Prison in Raleigh.

Courtesy of WRAL

Will there ever be justice fo Shaniya Davis?  Personally, there will never be ENOUGH justice served for this precious child.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Breaking down B4U-ACT’s (Pedophilia) Plea for Tolerance…

Just as the pedophile grooms and conditions his victims, the B4U-ACT group, a pro-pedophile organization, is being criticized for attempting to condition society to tolerate the “special feelings” pedophiles have for minors.

As you know, sympathetic activists held a conference encouraging society to connect emotionally with pedophiles to promote tolerance.

The group held a conference in Baltimore on August 17 that included clinicians, researchers and pedophiles talking about pedophilia and how those at risk for acting on their urges can seek real help. But the dominating topic of discussion was the group’s intentions of changing the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) classification of pedophilia.

B4U-ACT classifies pedophilia as a different type of sexual orientation, just as gay or hetero are different from each other. (Super! Let’s make new laws to protect all types of sexual orientation. What a circus society will be!)

While B4U-ACT may have its heart in the right place with their willingness to help pedophiles manage their sexual feelings for children, the group’s encouragement of using phrases such as, “minor-attracted persons” in place of “pedophiles” is very dangerous.

The B4U-ACT group repeatedly refers to pedophiles as, “minor-attracted persons.” The reference is made ad nauseam and appears on the B4U-ACT Web site like flies at a picnic.

Is it all part of their audio/visual conditioning plan to achieve societal acceptance for pedophilia? Here’s the thing–Society might be quite capable of tolerating the feelings defining pedophilia. It’s what happens as a result of those feelings that causes a visceral reaction from the world.

B4U-ACT claims to help pedophiles with compassionate understanding and a clear distinction between feelings and illegal actions. However, empathetic terms aimed at softening the true threat behind pedophilia are just another violation against our children. Especially when B4U-ACT starts tampering with the APA’s classification of pedophilia.

B4U-ACT’s holy grail might just be forcing the nation to illegalize the National Registry for Sex Offenders so we don’t hurt their feelings by “calling them out.”

B4U-ACT harps on the concept that many people who are attracted to children have never once acted on those feelings by engaging a minor in sex. This is probably true, and I highly doubt these responsible, law-abiding citizens need their feelings validated by B4U-ACT or society as a whole.

It’s coming across that B4U-ACT is trying to establish an empathetic response from society in order to create the path of open tolerance for pedophilia. Here’s the problem with that approach–Paths often turn into major roadways where speed limits are ignored.

So here, let’s simplify everything for the folks of B4U-ACT.  Attraction to children is something a person can easily seek help for through counseling. Pedophiles already know this and they also know society respects their self-control. The last thing our children or pedophiles need is B4U-ACT blurring the line between right and wrong with carefully selected terminology designed to soften the consequences of pedophilia.

This is no way to allay the fears of society, or the fears of a pedophile at risk of acting on his urges.

There is a bold line between right and wrong in society. Most of us clearly recognize that line every day in the things we say and do. We are all successfully controlling something in our lives. It is simply a part of respecting the difference between right and wrong.

If pedophiles want to feel included in society as a whole instead of being labeled as an outcast, the road to success is quite simple,

Don’t put your hands on a child. Ever.

Don’t have a child’s hands on you. Ever.

This “organization” and others cannot be allowed to keep going on as if they are to be accepted and tolerated.  No, I do not have tolerance for B4U-ACT, it’s members nor supporters.  As long as there are many of us in this arena fighting for our children who do not have a voice – we will continue to expose organizations of this sort for what they truly are.  Educating the public is imperative, saving our children is IMPERATIVE.

Child sexual abuse and assault will never be tolerated, never!  The “urge” will never be tolerated!

Thank you Kristen Berry for your contribution and stance.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

‘Dance Crew’ Judge DISTURBING Details In Child Sex Case

Former “America’s Best Dance Crew” judge Shane Sparks allegedly sexually abused at least 6 young girls IN ADDITION to the woman who claims Sparks raped her when she was 12 years old  … this according to court documents obtained by TMZ.

The documents were just made public … following a plea deal Sparks made with the L.A. County District Attorney in which he received 270 days in jail after pleading no contest to having unlawful sex with a minor under 16.

The allegations in the documents are extremely disturbing — with the victim telling police Sparks forced her to have sex with him after driving her home from a dance class he had taught in 1994 when she was only 12 years old.

According to the docs, the victim claims Sparks took her to HIS home where he started to “make out” with her … and then he “rolled on top of her and pinned her beneath him.”

The docs explain, “The victim told him she was a virgin and not ready for intercourse” but Sparks “ignored her pleas and penetrated her vagina for several minutes. He then drove her home.”

According to the docs, investigators found “at least six other victims, whom between the ages of 12-17, were also abused by [Sparks].” No further details about the other alleged victims are included in the docs.

Sparks is expected to begin his sentence sometime in the next year.

Via TMZ

You NEVER know who is a pedophile – they don’t have a “look”; he/she can be ANYONE!  They have many faces, in many professions and just the average person in a crowd.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Paving the Way for Condoning Child Rape by Dr. Keith Ablow…

There were those who scoffed at my contention that Abercrombie and Fitch, the edgy retailer, was paving the way for mainstream pedophilia when it began marketing breast enhancing bikinis to girls as young as eight.

There were those who railed against my contention that the French edition of Vogue was kindling pedophilia and embracing it with its racy depictions of 10-year-old Thylane Lena-Rose Loubry-Blondeau in heavy makeup, a plunging neckline and stiletto heels.

There were others who suggested that I had a problem with breastfeeding, in general, when I took issue with The Breast Milk Baby, which encourages little girls to wear a vest that has flowers in place of larger nipples and nurse the doll.

But, now, there should be no doubt that our culture is poised to begin embracing pedophilia as a lifestyle choice, just like homosexuality. A group of psychiatrists and other mental health professionals called B4U-Act, which has representatives from Harvard and Johns Hopkins, gathered recently in Baltimore to organize their push to change the negative perception of pedophiles and encourage them to get help in a nonjudgmental environment.

While B4U-Act is not representative of mainstream psychiatry, and while the American Psychiatric Association (APA) did not participate in the group’s meeting, psychiatry has a history of caving into cultural pressure to stop defining controversial illnesses as pathological. You won’t even find ego-dystonic homosexuality—meaning, homosexual impulses that cause an individual to feel distressed and which that individual does not want to give into—in the DSM, anymore.

Some of the goals of B4U-Act are worthwhile. Encouraging pedophiles to seek psychiatric treatment to resist their pathological urges is a good thing, not a bad thing. I wish every pedophile would get help before ever hurting a child. And the group is absolutely right in asserting that some pedophiles—perhaps the vast majority of pedophiles—never actually do commit a crime. They live with their erotic desires for children without ever acting on them.

Dr. Fred Berlin, a Johns Hopkins psychiatrist, bonafide genius, and truly decent person, is quoted on the website of B4U-Act. His treatment protocols for sexual offenders and others with such impulses do indeed vastly reduce the likelihood that such individuals will hurt children, and his efforts are to be lauded.

But what the members of B4U-Act fail to realize is that there are some impulses worth repressing from consciousness—like the impulse to rape children. There are even thoughts worth repressing—like fantasies of having sex with children. When a society stigmatizes certain actions and thoughts—thereby driving them out of mainstream consciousness and into the shadows—that isn’t always a bad thing.

The group also fails to recognize that there are consequences to removing all moral judgment from a profession. Psychiatry, for example, has become hostile to suggesting that alcoholics are actually choosing their drug over their families and jobs and other responsibilities—and that making that choice is morally reprehensible. Why isn’t it all right for psychiatrists to take a hard line against pedophilia and see it for what it is: a desire to violate and injure children that is both pathological and morally reprehensible and to be resisted by every means possible?

I’ve told more than one of my patients that his real diagnosis, given his behavior in embracing drugs, instead of his family or employment, shouldn’t be alcohol dependence or heroin dependence, but “scumbag.” And I then have quickly added that they can do better than that—that they must choose to do better than that, because, deep inside, they are good and decent and lovable. I tell them they can find the courage to do the right thing, instead of the wrong thing. Yes, I sometimes use the word “wrong.” I judge them. It helps.

I would not hesitate to tell a pedophile that his desires are to injure and torture a child—that they are morally wrong—and that it is his responsibility to ferret out the source of those destructive desires and extinguish them. I wouldn’t for a moment commiserate about how hard it is to live in a society that criminalizes the acts he is moved to commit.

Suggesting to pedophiles that their thoughts and impulses are “understandable” and that they won’t be judged by the members of B4U-Act is the kind of message that encourages them to push harder to change what they think of as unfair laws that keep them from their base desires.

I hate to say I told you so, but . . . well . . . OK, I won’t.

Dr. Keith Ablow, MD is one of America’s leading psychiatrists.  He is a graduate of Brown University and the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, an assistant professor at Tufts Medical School, and is board certified in adult, adolescent and forensic psychiatry.  He is the author of numerous books on overcoming depression, anxiety disorders and other psychological challenges and serves as the FOX NEWS expert on psychiatry and as a contributing editor at both Good Housekeepingand Men’s Fitness.

Thank you Dr. Ablow for your professional contribution, for telling “it” just as it is and for being a voice for our children.  You are appreciated.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Breaking: Pedophilia Controversy

Over the last few days we have seen a few articles written about B4U-ACT and the conferences they are holding.  This organization is attempting to normalize pedophilia.  They are attempting to change the name of pedophiles to “minor attracted” as well as create a way for the public to be more tolerant of pedophiles and to change and enact laws to help pedophiles and lesson sex offender laws.

B4U-ACT was founded by Michael Melsheimer aka Lek who was a sex offender, a pedophile and an activist member of Boy Chat.  He ran B4U-ACT with Richard Kramer.  Richard Kramer of the website, MHAMic (Male Homosexual Attraction to Minors Information Center) runs a website designed to coerce the public into believing sexual abuse of children is not harmful.  B4U-Act is also associated with Reformsexoffenderlaws.org who is attempting to change law lessoning  sex offender incarcerations and stop the sex offender registry and also  has ties to NAMBLA.

We must get active.  We as American’s have a duty to protect our children and our nations children from harm.  As Child Abuse Advocates we know first hand how physically and emotionally harmful and scarring pedophilia is.  We know that child sexual abuse not only physically hurts children, not only mentally hurts children but in some cases kills children. We know it is not “love” as they claim, but ABUSE!!!!  We know that sexual abuse of our children must not be tolerated, must not ever be accepted and must be fought with everything we have!  Please share this note with everyone you know.  Ask everyone to use their voice.  Post it on pages of media outlets and every child abuse advocates pages !!!  Share this with every single friend !!!  The people behind these organizations are CRIMINALS !!!! THEY MUST BE STOPPED, WE MUST OPEN EVERYONE’S EYES TO THIS !!!!

Please see the following links below to get a better understanding and confirm this for yourself.

B4U-Act Website:

http://www.b4uact.org/

Recent news articles about B4U-Act:

FOX2 VIDEO LINKS:

 http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/25/paving-way-for-condoning-child-rape/

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/24/mental-health-group-looks-to-remove-stigma-from-pedophilia/

http://www.salon.com/life/sexual_abuse/?story=/mwt/feature/2011/08/17/pedophilia

DAILY CALLER LINK:

http://dailycaller.com/2011/08/15/conference-aims-to-normalize-pedophilia/

Please research the following websites:

Reform Sex Offender Laws

MHAMic

NAMBLA

BoyChat

Who was Michael Melsheimer the founder of B4U-Act??

Michael Frederick Melsheimer, 67, of Westminster, died Thursday, July 15, 2010, at Carroll Hospice’s Dove House. Born Aug. 21, 1942, in Jacksonville, Fla., he was the son of the late Richard L. and Nancy R. Ison Melsheimer. He was an Army veteran having served during the Vietnam era. He was a social service worker, and co-founded and was active with the nonprofit B4U-ACT. Surviving is a friend, Russell Dick, of Westminster.  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/carrollcountytimes/obituary.aspx?n=michael-f-melsheimer&pid=144094084

B4U-ACT is an advocacy organization for “minor attracted adults” who they claim are being discriminated against by society. On their site they claim to want to help child molesters get the therapeutic help they need to not act on their impulses, but this is a lie they use to keep their 501(c)(3) status and remain eligible for grant money they receive from the state of Maryland.

The truth of B4U-ACT is made plain by the online activities of those involved in the group. In May of 2009 a “Richard K” working on behalf of B4U-ACT posted the following on a now defunct child molester forum called Boylove.net:

For those of you who don’t know, B4U-ACT (www.b4uact.org) is a 501c3 non-profit organization started by Mike Melsheimer, an out BL [boy lover] who posts at Boychat. The goal of B4U-ACT is to promote communication between BLs/GLs and mental health professionals so they can learn about us and start to work with us to counteract stereotyping, stigmatization, and hatred.

We also want to help them develop *humane* and ethical ways of working with those BLs who want therapy to deal with society’s hatred, or other issues related or unrelated to being BLs. (B4U-ACT does *not* believe BLs are “sick” and need to be “cured”.)

I now work with B4U-ACT, and was part of the planning committee for this workshop that was held last Thursday. The following is a report of what was discussed at the workshop. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2767355/posts

The late Mike Melsheimer who started B4U-Act was a convicted child molester, first caught in 1984 when he was the director of Pennsylvania YMCA. He befriended the two young sons of a Nicaraguan immigrant and began producing child pornography using the boys. In 2002 Melsheimer made the news in Maryland by publicly demanding the state provide him lists of comprehensive mental health services for his pedophilia. At the same time, he was a frequent poster on pro-child rape forums using his own name or sometimes the handle “Lek” where he spoke at length of the time he spent in Thailand. In one 2009 discussion on a forum called Boychat, Melsheimer is taken to task by other child molesters for B4U-ACT’s claim they want to help stop “minor attracted adults” from offending. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2767355/posts

Who is Richard Kramer?

Richard Kramer is the owner of the website “Male Homosexual Attraction to Minors Information Center” and a member of “Boy Chat”.  Here is an example of him speaking out on  the BoyChat website:

We have to examine our audience and our message. As for the former, we have to do triage. The antis (including the mainstream media, politicians, etc.) are a waste of time. Life’s too short and our emotional resources are too limited to get into arguments with people who can’t change their minds about us or have vested (political or financial) interests in perpetuating the lies. Then there are the people who already understand (mainly us, but there are a few non-MAAs who understand).

We need to identify the middle group: people who don’t know us but who we have a chance of helping to understand. These are people who:

- are oriented toward compassion, understanding, and acceptance of marginalized people

- aren’t easily frightened about sex, different perspectives; and

- are skeptical of the conventional wisdom.

It’s also important that they have some kind of influence in society in order to maximize the effect of our contacts with them.

As for our message, it’s silly and counterproductive to argue a pro-sex position. That’s not even the real issue. Society needs to believe we’re dangerous in order to justify their hatred. THE HATRED COMES FIRST. Trying to address any issue without addressing the hatred is like treating the symptoms without treating the illness. The gay movement knows that. Very little of the pro-gay literature actually talks about sex. It’s all about accepting differences, not hating, stereotyping, and doing violence to people for a characteristic they did not choose, and caring for children and teenagers who are growing up in a society that rejects them. http://absolutezerounited.blogspot.com/2009/03/this-is-important-discussion.html

The list goes on and on and on, Doctors and Pedophiles working together to achieve their common goal.  I won’t list them all here and waste any more space but if you google any of these names you will find a slew of other people working with them to normalize child sexual abuse.

These organizations are all tied in with each other through the common ground of being  pedophiles.  Here is a great video on youtube that thoroughly shows how by combining their collective efforts they are attempting to legalize pedophilia.

Their goal is to take all shame and responsibility out of the lust for children.

The APA (American Psychiatric Association) did not participate in the conference and does NOT condone the group’s message.  “An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act and this is NEVER considered normal or socially acceptable behavior.” (APA 2003 position statement.)

Habit versus Fear…Home Invasion

At ten o’clock that night, Lindsay had checked that her doors were locked, as usual, before shutting the lights off and going to bed. She assumed she was safe within the protection of her apartment walls. A typical night coupled with a typical attitude. At four o’clock in the morning, Lindsay’s night drastically changed. Her worst fear had crept out of her nightmares and forced its way into her bedroom.

“Don’t make a sound or I’ll kill you…just do exactly what I say” — a ruthless command and a lethal threat on an innocent human being.  This was not a practical joke carried out by a friend.  It was real and it was happening to Lindsay — a tall, think, ultra-feminine woman who had always thought with confidence, “It (rape) won’t happen to me.” But there he was and there she was.

While Lindsay slept a man had broken into her locked apartment and moved silently into her bedroom.  He woke her from a peaceful sleep with the forceful words, “Don’t make a sound, don’t move.”  That statement would repeat over and over in her mind for years to come.

As this angry man, a man that she had never seen before in her life — stood over her in her bedroom; made one last reminder for her not to do anything.  Lindsay’s mind raced back to her self-defense workshop that she had taken, she was reminded of the emphasis placed on fighting back in order to surprise the attacker.

• Don’t think of anything other than survival.
• Look for your window of opportunity – it may be as little as five seconds – when he is vulnerable and to use it to your advantage.
• Fight back.

And that is what she did.  She knew she needed to remain calm, assess the best time for defense, and strike.

Lindsay did just that.  As she watched his body fly across the room, Lindsay was amazed to see the shock on his face.  He was caught physically and mentally off-guard by her blow that she landed him in the chest with both of her feet, using all the force she could gather.  Lindsay had enough time to escape.  As she ran out of her apartment to get help, he ran too…not after her, but away from her.

Lindsay experienced a life-threatening situation.  It is our responsibility to ensure our own safety.  You may be wondering why Lindsay didn’t hear her intruder as there were no noises of a break-in; the man had a key from the previous tenant who lived in the apartment….previous to Lindsay. 

The landlord never changed the locks when Lindsay moved in!

Personal safety is a habit not a fear. I’ve had students tell me that their family members think that they are scared or paranoid because they lock doors even when they are home; when they go out to walk the dog and in their car.  I’ve heard many parents say that having your children’s carton images with their age and name on your vehicle window was not dangerous.  All of us in the personal safety arena agree, IT IS DANGEROUS! Ask any pedophile who wants an easy target.

The fact is, paranoia will freeze you with fear and fear is the most dangerous mindset of all.

• Trust your gut feelings, your instincts, intuition
• Be aware of your surroundings
• Establish and enforce your personal boundaries
• Exhibit confident body language
• Incorporate safety tips into your daily routine and life

The benefits of personal safety impact your entire life in a positive manner.  “An ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.”—-Benjamin Franklin

The people who tell you or call you paranoid for being aware and safe are O-B-L-I-V-I-O-U-S!

The impact of being oblivious and not facing the fact that all type of crimes and assaults are happening on a daily basis is an individual with blinders on.  Electing not be educated or taught how to be safe is just downright ludicrous.

ob·liv·i·ous = unmindful; unconscious; unaware

Synonym – absent-minded (so lost in thought that one does not realize what one is doing, what is happening, etc.; preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings)

There is nothing wrong with being the brightest light bulb in the room!

What do you think?

 

Take care and STAY SAFE!

My child has manners but not when it comes to his SAFETY!…Kid Safe Foundation

When we were young our parents sent us off to school and camp with statements such as: “Be a good listener.” “Mind your manners.” “Do what your counselor tells you to do.” “A tough teacher is a good teacher.” I can’t even imagine saying blanket statements like this to my 10 year old today. In fact, almost the opposite is said at our house. We want him to be polite but NEVER at the expense of his safety and just because an adult, like a teacher or counselor, tells him to do something, if it makes him uncomfortable or confused… guess what? He doesn’t have to do it! He has the right to say “NO” and he knows it. Blind obedience versus knowing when and how to be assertive is on my mind as my son tells me this experience he had at camp:

My son is at a new camp. The first two days when changing for swim they changed in a huge bathroom that had stalls. My son (as did the other boys) went into their individual stalls and changed. The third day they were brought to a smaller bathroom (no clue why) and there were no stalls. My son said to the counselor, “I want to change in the stall.” The counselor said “We are in a rush just change here, hurry up.” My son responded, “I don’t want anyone to see me and I don’t want to see anyone else’s privates.” (Now remember he is growing up with one of the founders of KidSafe Foundation and could probably teach the lessons himself at this point.) The counselor raised his voice and told him he had to change. He refused. The counselor got the Director of the camp, who amazingly told my son, “I absolutely respect your right to privacy and you don’t ever have to change in that bathroom again – you can always go to the big bathroom.” Crisis solved. (Well almost – as this was not handled well by the group counselor.)

I can’t even explain to you how proud my husband and I were of him. Thankfully this was just a very minor thing – Just a counselor wanting his camper to hurry up and get dressed for swimming…no big deal right? But what if the counselor or teacher asked a child to do something inappropriate, sexual and unsafe? I want my child, your child, and every child to know they have the right to be SAFE. They have the right to speak up and be assertive if they are uncomfortable…and just because the person telling you to do something is an adult, especially the adult that is in charge at that time, it does not mean a child has to be blindly obedient.

After sharing my story with a few friends (many of their children have been through the KidSafe program), they shared similar stories…especially around the issues of changing for swim and privacy. My friend described that after a few days at camp she finally realized her son’s bathing suit was coming home dry. When she asked him if he was swimming he said that he and a bunch of other boys are not swimming because they didn’t have anywhere to change with privacy. When she called the camp – she understood that the boys were given an option by the counselor – change out with everyone – or don’t swim. They chose to not swim. After speaking to the director – who was embarrassed that the situation was not handled well by his staff, my friend used the experience as a teachable moment. She was so proud that he had spoken up and was assertive – but taught him that the next step is to come to a trusted adult and explain what happened. He has a right to swim and a right to privacy. Wow – it was amazing to have this anecdotal feedback that our lessons stick… the children get it! Some of the parents were surprised by their children’s assertiveness…I was thrilled!

I have to admit that dropping my son off at a camp where neither he nor I knew a soul was difficult for me. I left with a heavy heart, a little anxious….even though I did all the due diligence I needed to feel comfortable with the camp we choose, you still can’t help but wonder…will my child be safe? Parents ask us most often, “When can my child have more independence?” I respond with a question back to them: “What have you taught your child about their personal safety that you feel they will make the safest and smartest choices when faced with new challenges?”

I realized that we have raised our 10 year old to be polite…but assertive. To listen to an adult…but think first how it makes him feel…to speak up if something is uncomfortable.. but to hold his ground if he doesn’t feel safe and to report what happens to a trusted adult. I was proud and realized something important. It is not just what you tell your child, it’s how you ask questions of your child to get them to tell you about their day away from you.

Ask: Open ended questions – Don’t just ask: How was your day? The answer will be: fine.

Ask: Tell me 3 high lights of your day? And 3 low lights. Ask them for the play by play of their day. Once they get talking you can enjoy the info as well as see how they cope during the day and what areas they might need some practice in.

So as your kids go off to summer activities…and then back to school rethink what you may be teaching them…Does your child know they have the right to say “NO” to anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable? Even an adult? Have you talked with your child about this? Do you just assume your child knows he has these rights? Or have you actually had this discussion? Do you assume your child knows he/she can come to you about anything? Or have you actually had this conversation. If you have not – it is never too late. Start the conversation and keep it going!

Via Kid Safe Foundation, Inc. – commending and thanking Kid Safe Foundation for all that they do for our children.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Being Proactive vs. Reactive IS a Choice

This post is for females of ALL ages.

There are two primary types of self-defense methods: proactive and reactive. Ideally, you will employ a combination of proactive self -defense methods and not have to rely on your reactive self-defense methods for dealing with potential violence and attackers.

What is Proactive Self Defense?
As the name implies, proactive self-defense are techniques you use before someone attacks you. Being proactive should prevent a dangerous or violent situation from happening and gives you time to put space between you and the possible assailant. For example, if you’re walking down the street and see someone who looks a bit suspicious or who otherwise makes you uncomfortable you have the opportunity to employ proactive self-defense. You can cross the street so you’re walking on the opposite side as the individual you’re unsure about. You can go into a store or public place if you’re in a location where that is possible. Proactive self-defense gives you the opportunity to possibly avoid a confrontation.

When you’re aware of what’s going on around you and of potential dangers, you have time to think about a strategy if a threat occurs. If an attack seems like it’s about to happen, you can make sure you are ready to act giving yourself a better chance at stunning the attacker rather than waiting until he or she is attacking you before trying to make a move.

Being proactive means you’re paying attention to your surroundings. If you’re walking with your head in the clouds and your MP3 player blaring in your ears, you give up your opportunity to be proactive and avoid a potentially dangerous or violent situation. Get the ear buds OUT OF YOUR EARS unless you are in a gym. Do not voluntarily take any of your senses away at any given time.

What is Reactive Defense?

Once you’ve been attacked, the opportunity for proactive defense is gone and now you must employ reactive self-defense methods in order to get away from the attacker. If someone jumps on your back while walking through a dark parking lot, you’re going to have an awfully hard time digging the pepper spray out from the bottom of your bag and spraying an attacker while he or she is attacking you. (I do not promote weapons such as pepper spray, guns, etc. = false security.)

Once you are being attacked the only thing you can do is react to the situation. You have no time to prepare or possibly prevent the situation from happening. Reactive self-defense techniques include physical fighting and attempting to outrun an attacker.

Now take a moment and ask yourself, would you rather be proactive or reactive? Not a tough choice but how many females actually know or learn how to be proactive? The number of females that know how to effectively protect and defend themselves is a small percentage to those that do not.

Any type or form of self-defense begins with knowledge and education. Prevention is the key, being proactive. Unfortunately we are not born with this knowledge, we are born with instincts but we have to be educated on the correct way to use them and how to physically defend ourselves.

I have a challenge for each of you. For one week, set a “daily” Google alert for domestic violence, sexual assault, rape, teen dating violence, abduction, bullying, stalking, murder and any other form of abuse or assault that you can think of that occurs over and over and over, hourly, daily. Read each alert that you get in your email. I mean go to the link and read the horrific reports that you receive. Read each one at least twice. Feel the pain, the turmoil; go to that dark place and put yourself in the victim’s situation. Then go look in the mirror and look at yourself and tell yourself that you have not been given a “free pass” to the possibility of being victimized. Yes, you are special but you must get your head out of the sand and realize that you are not exempt. If you are not educated, if you are not proactive nor know how to be you don’t have a snowballs chance in hell that you would survive an assault. You see anyone can and is victimized. Victimization does not discriminate.

So what do you do now? The majority of females will do nothing, absolutely nothing. Why? Because they have the mentality that “it won’t happen to me”. This post is meant to be a major wake-up call and I pray that I am reaching someone out here.

Google the murder of Jayna Murray in an upscale yoga store in Bethesda, Maryland on March 11, 2010 . When the report originally aired it was reported that two employees were assaulted and one, Jayna Murray was murdered during a botched robbery which escalated. This crime circulated on Saturday when the employee’s were found by a co-worker. Bethesda, surrounding areas, the entire country – females went into panic mode. How could this happen in Bethesda of all places? How could this have happened to Jayna, she was an awesome, sweet, loving person? And, her co-worker assaulted, alive but would live with this horrific crime for the rest of her life.

The country went into a tail spin, stunning everyone. The media went crazy and females everywhere were actively seeking some kind of self-defense training because FINALLY THEY GOT A WAKE-UP CALL!

Why in God’s name does something terrible have to happen for females to get it? Why does it take horrific crimes to be committed against females that gain media attention to make you/them look past their noses?

We now know that Jayna and her co-worker, Brittany Norwood was not sexually assaulted and Norwood has been allegedly charged with Jayna Murray’s murder. But……..what if? What if these two women were sexually assaulted, beaten, murdered and tied up? Can you even begin to imagine?

Now…..things are quieting down because Jayna wasn’t assaulted and murdered by a male. Females will go about their business and become complacent. SHAME ON YOU/THEM!

Perhaps if a victim is educated and knows how to “effectively and realistically” defend herself it doesn’t matter if her assailant is a male or female she would have a fighting chance. Don’t you think?

In order kids to drive, drivers of any age have to attend so many hours of classroom study and must drive with an instructor a set number of hours BEFORE obtaining a license to drive alone. In reality, what are the states teaching these new drivers??????? Defensive driving! Bingo! While driving you are taught to ALWAYS be watching out for the other drivers, anticipating their moves while driving.

I leave you with this thought……..since we teach DEFENSIVE driving techniques why in the world wouldn’t every female want to be taught HOW TO PROTECT AND DEFEND HERSELF? A car can be replaced, a life cannot whether in a car or from an assault.

Do something for yourself, don’t make your parents “make” you take a personal safety course (that’s another post as to what to look for in an effective course). You are not invincible, you are human!

March 21, 2011 Jayna Murray’s Parents Speak Out on GMA:

Jayna never mentioned the woman, Norwood to them. As the news broke of Jayna’s murder and spread thoughout the D.C. suburb that a killer was on the loose, Mrs. Murray said, “It’s the rumors that kill and it just burns you inside.” The family of Jayna Murray is healing through launching a foundation to remember the adventure seeking young women who loved to go bungee jumping. Jayna’s father reflects upon Jayna’s life stating, “One (Jayna) of the most fearless people I’ve every known in my life and that’s the objective as a father can get. I really admired her for everything she did and everything she represented.”

The family has created the Janya Troxel Murray Foundation to remember Janya’s life. For more information on the Janya Troxel Murray Foundation or to send a donation please send your donation to: The Janya Troxel Murray Foundation, P. O. Box 9492, The Woodlands, Texas 77387.

Keeping Jayna, family and friends in our thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

Your comments, feelings and thoughts are welcome. Please leave a comment.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

“Time’s Up” New Show Highlights Intimate Partner Violence, Missing Persons, and Cold Cases

Susan Murphy-Milano is a non-fiction author and violence expert—Host of a weekly radio show “Time’s Up” addresses real-life unsolved and missing person’s cases featuring family members of unsolved crimes, missing persons and intimate partner violence and  homicides. She is defender of victims’ rights. A radio show host, Susan has appeared on numerous shows including Oprah, 20/20, American Justice, A & E, Sunday Today, E True Hollywood, A & E, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN. As a nationally recognized women’s advocate, she was intrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lautenberg Act.

In 1989, after the murder of her mother by her father, a Chicago violent crimes detective, she vowed to change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides are handled and investigated.

The criteria for selecting cases relies heavily from a commitment of family members to pursue the case.

Case factors will include: the existence of suspects, persons of interest, witnesses and relevant documents; whether over time circumstances may have changed that will allow for additional witness cooperation; and whether there is new technology available to re-examine original evidence.

The families will be required to participate in the investigative effort by providing open and sincere assistance to include: submitting to interviews; providing necessary documentation and contact information of witnesses; facilitating interviews with witnesses or sources where appropriate; and signing required releases.

To be considered for a future show email us at timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Tune in each Thursday from 2-4ET for great guests, interesting conversations, and information on important topics relating to justice for victims of crime, missing persons or unsolved cases.

Brought to you by Here Women Talk Network and broadcast by Zeus Radio.

To listen live: http://zeusradio.com/station/hwt/

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of “Time’s Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships,” available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, “Time’s Up!” on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

www.imaginepublicity.com

 

Loughner STALKED Giffords For Three Years

 

Killer’s eerie note: ‘I planned ahead’

He had her in his cross hairs for years.

The crackpot gunman charged in the frenzied ambush of Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords on Saturday had stashed handwritten messages in his basement safe bearing the chilling words: “Gifford,” “My assassination” and “I planned ahead,” authorities said yesterday.

Accused killer Jared Lee Loughner, 22, signed at least one of the pieces of paper, which he put in a single envelope and placed in the safe at his parents’ modest one-story home in the northwest section of the city, according to charges filed yesterday in federal court in Phoenix.

Also inside the safe was a letter on Giffords’ congressional stationery thanking Loughner for attending one of her “Congress on your Corner” events at a mall in Tucson in 2007.

Loughner had asked Giffords at the event, “What is government if words have no meaning?” according to two friends from high school.

A former classmate, Caitie Parker — who has called the suspect “left wing” and “a pothead” — tweeted that after that event, Loughner said he thought Giffords was “stupid” and “unintelligent.”

That mall event was the same type Loughner invaded Saturday, when he shot Giffords point-blank in the head and killed six others, authorities said.

The same year that Loughner attended the event with Giffords, he began a descent into drug use and erratic behavior, records show.

In October 2007, Loughner was cited by the Pima County Sheriff’s Department for possession of drug paraphernalia, a charge that was dismissed a month later when he completed a court-ordered program.

A year later, he faced a charge in Marana Municipal Court that was dismissed after the completion of another program. The charge was never made public.

It was also in 2008 that Loughner tried to enlist in the Army but was rejected after reportedly failing his drug test.

He soon enrolled at Pima Community College, where his wacko behavior immediately alarmed students and professors.

Pima officials said in a statement that from February to September 2010, campus cops were called on Loughner five times because of classroom and library disruptions.

He was suspended after college police discovered a YouTube video in which Loughner claimed the college was “illegal.”

Along with the suspension came a terse letter to Loughner’s parents stating if he wanted to come back, he’d have to “obtain a mental-health clearance” from a professional,” the school said. Loughner dropped out instead.

Pima math teacher Ben McGahee said Loughner worried him.

“I always felt, you know, somewhat paranoid,” McGahee told The Washington Post. “When I turned my back to write on the board, I would always turn back quickly — to see if he had a gun.”

An older student in the class, Lynda Sorenson, 52, was scared stiff of the lunatic. She wrote e-mails — provided to The Washington Post — alluding to Loughner’s antics.

“He scares me a bit . . . Hopefully he will be out of class very soon, and not come back with an automatic weapon,” she wrote on June 1, the first day of class.

The feds are reportedly looking into whether he joined an anti-Semitic, anti-government hate group.

According to a Department of Homeland Security memo, the agency is trying to determine whether Loughner is linked to the fanatical group American Renaissance, Fox News reported The group promotes views that are “anti-government, anti-immigration, anti-ZOG (Zionist Occupation Government), anti-Semitic,” the memo says.

Giffords is “the first Jewish female elected to such a high-position in the US government. She was also opposite the group’s ideology when it came to immigration debate,” according the memo.

Jared Taylor, editor of American Renaissance, vehemently denied any association with Loughner.

Loughner grew up in a neighborhood of ranch-style and split-level homes, with parents whom neighbors described as loners.

Neither of Loughner’s parents was home yesterday.

Loughner could face death by lethal injection if he’s convicted of murder in the horrific shooting case. He’ll be arraigned today in federal court in Phoenix.

Respectfully submitted via NYPost