Pinwheels Call Attention to Child Abuse, Ways to Identify and Prevent It!

Many communities “plant pinwheel gardens” each April of colorful pinwheels spinning in the wind which represents a child living in the community who was abused last year.

April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month and many local organizations offer tips on preventing abuse.

Congress first declared April as National Child Abuse Awareness Month, a time designated each year to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect, in 1983, and each year the president issues a proclamation calling on Americans to use the month to help prevent child abuse.

The first step in helping abused children is learning to recognize the symptoms of child abuse.  Although child abuse is divided into four types – physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse and emotional maltreatment – the types are more typically found in combination than alone.  A physically abused child for example is often emotionally maltreated as well, and a sexually abused child may be also neglected.  Any child at any age may experience any of the types of child abuse.

Child abuse leaves more than just bruises.  Long after children have recovered from the physical results of any type of abuse, abused children suffer from emotional and psychological trauma that can last the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately, many bystanders witness child abuse and do nothing about it. Neighbors and friends may hear or even see child abuse happening, but don’t want to intrude or interfere with “the rights” of the parents.  Such inaction can mean years of pain and heartbreak for young children who are unable to get out of a horrific situation.

Abused children need your intervention.  In their helplessness, they must rely on capable adults who are willing to take a stand and get them out of an abusive environment.  By being aware of child abuse, and helping to educate the people you know, you can help prevent child abuse in your community.

Identifying Child Abuse

While it is impossible to determine the presence of abuse or neglect by behavior, the following signs may signal the presence of child abuse or neglect:

The Child:

• Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
• Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parent’s attention
• Has learning problems or difficulty concentrating that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
• Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
• Lacks adult supervision•Is overly compliant, passive or withdrawn
• Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home

The Parent:

• Shows little concern for the child
• Denies the existence of, or blames the child for the child’s problems in school or at home
• Asks teachers or other caretakers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
• Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
• Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
• Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs

The Parent and the Child:

• Rarely touch or look at each other
• Consider their relationship entirely negative
• State that they do not like each other

Preventing Child Abuse

Learn about child abuse.  Educate yourself and keep these key facts in mind:

• Child abusers can be any age, any gender and any race.  They can be from any economic class, and have any level of education.
• Children are more likely to be abused by their own parents than by a stranger.
• Rarely does an incident of child abuse happen in isolation.  When a child is abused once, it is likely to happen again.
• Educate your neighbors and friends about child abuse.

Stop child abuse when you see it.  If you have trouble identifying the difference between child abuse and acceptable forms of discipline, learn the Federal and State laws and find resources that distinguish between discipline and abuse.  Do not hesitate to contact the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-Child).  During your anonymous call, their counselors can help you evaluate the situation and help you make a child abuse report to the proper authorities.  If you are nervous about making a report, they will even stay on the line during a 3-way call to offer you support.  If a child is in life-threatening danger, call 911 immediately.

It’s time that people take a stand against child abuse.  Your simple actions will help prevent child abuse and give abused children hope for a brighter future.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Grand Jury Report on Penn State Child Sexual Abuse/Rape Investigation

A grand jury is a type of jury that determines whether a criminal indictment will issue.  A grand jury is so named because it has a greater number of jurors than a trial jury.

The Grand Jury Report below is extremely graphic and detailed accounts from victims and witnesses.  The release of this documentation was due to a computer glinch according to the PA’s governor.  However, legal documentation from investigations is vitally important for the public to clearly understand and gain knowledge of testimony leading to alledged crimes committed and arrests.

View this document on Scribd

Penn State Incident Should Empower All Adults To Better Protect Children

As individuals and communities, we are all impacted by the horrible allegations of child sexual abuse by a former assistant football coach at Penn Sate.  These reports leave us  wondering how such atrocities could happen when so many well-minded adults were around –– yet none took the necessary action steps to end the abuse and the offender’s access to children.   Further, parents are left wondering how they can best protect their children.

Shock, disbelief and outrage are often the first reactions to such news.  However, this incident can serve as a teachable moment to empower adults to recognize the signs, have the courage to react responsibly and, ultimately, prevent child sexual abuse before it happens in the first place.

The accused did not wear a trench coat and lure a child into a dark alley.  Rather, he was a talented man who was revered by the public as a coach and trusted mentor.  He allegedly used that trust to obtain access to children.  Tragically, this scenario plays out all around us every day.  Hundreds of thousands of children are sexually violated by adults every year, and shockingly, more than 90% of the time, the child is abused by someone the family knows and trusts.

At Darkness to Light, we have spent the last decade educating adults — those who are in a position to protect children — how to prevent abuse and recognize warning signs so communities can react responsibly and with confidence.

Penn State could have benefited from having its staff trained so that witnesses would come forward.  Having policies and procedures in place, and staff empowered to hold others accountable to the policies, would have made all the difference in the lives of the children involved and the reputation of the institution.

There are more than 42 million adults in America who were sexually abused as children. Research shows that between eight to 20 percent of our children are abused every year. The immediate impact to a child is devastating and the long-term impact costs society more than $35 billion annually.  Child sexual abuse is linked to personal dysfunction, mental health issues, teen pregnancy, violent crime, substance abuse, and sex trafficking – among other issues.

Now is the time to finally shine a spotlight on the much avoided subject of child sexual abuse.  We must talk to our kids and our communities about prevention.   Public dialogue about child sexual abuse helps shape better societal beliefs and responsible actions. The more we can talk openly about child sexual abuse signs or perpetrator patterns, the better we are able to recognize behavioral red flags and have the courage to take action.

We should expect our youth-serving organizations to have policies that govern how adults may interact with youth.  Further, these  organizations must offer regular trainings, so that no one is left wondering what their legal or moral obligation is when discovering that a child has been sexually abused.  The youth-serving organizations should hold staff and volunteers accountable, while our communities, parents and students, in turn, should hold the organizations accountable.

We encourage the public to continue the dialogue that has been started and find hope in the fact that there are things we all can do to reduce the risks in our own homes and organizations.  Get involved in your local school, church, youth service organization, youth camp or sports league to ensure that prevention is being addressed and comprehensive policies and training are in place to identify potential problems.

If you believe that your child has been victimized in any way please get immediate help through your local child advocacy center.  In addition, Darkness to Light is here as a resource to any parent or organization who wants to get involved in making their community a safer place for children.

Via d2l.org

Anny is a Steward’s of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light’s certification programs.

Take care and stay safe.

 

 

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Sex-abuse case jolts Penn State University

Jerry Sandusky, 67, allegedly engaged in fondling, oral and anal sex with young boys over a period of more than 10 years, according to an investigative state grand jury’s summary of testimony. He maintains he is innocent.

Also named in the state grand jury report are Penn State Athletic Director Timothy Curley, 57, and Gary Schultz, 62, the university’s senior vice president for finance and business. They face one count of perjury each in connection to an alleged cover-up of the abuse.

“If true, the nature and amount of charges made are very shocking to me and all Penn Staters. While I did what I was supposed to with the one charge brought to my attention, like anyone else involved I can’t help but be deeply saddened these matters are alleged to have occurred,” Paterno said in a statement.

The legendary coach said an assistant coach told him in 2002 about an “incident in the shower of our locker room facility.”

“It was obvious that the witness was distraught over what he saw, but he at no time related to me the very specific actions contained in the Grand Jury report. Regardless, it was clear that the witness saw something inappropriate involving Mr. Sandusky. As Coach Sandusky was retired from our coaching staff at that time, I referred the matter to university administrators,” Paterno said.

Sandusky, who served 23 years as defensive coordinator for the Nittany Lions, faces seven counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, and numerous other charges, including aggravated indecent assault and endangering the welfare of a child.

In some cases, Sandusky promised boys gifts or invited them to football games and sleepovers, according to the grand jury.

“One of the most compelling and disturbing pieces of testimony in this investigation came from an eyewitness to a late-night sexual assault that allegedly occurred in March of 2002, in the locker room of the Lasch Football Building on the University Park Campus,” Pennsylvania Attorney General Linda Kelly said Saturday.

“Hearing what sounded like sexual activity in the showers of a building that was supposed to be empty, a graduate assistant reportedly observed Sandusky sexually assaulting a naked boy who appeared to be about 10 years old,” she said.

The assistant reported the incident to head football coach Paterno, who in turn alerted athletic director Curley, said Kelly.

Instead of reporting the incident to authorities, Curley and Schultz banned Sandusky from having children from Second Mile visit the football building, Kelly said.

Sandusky, who retired from coaching in 1999, was founder of the Second Mile, a charitable organization that began as a group foster home “dedicated to helping troubled boys,” the grand jury states. He was arrested and released Saturday on $100,000 unsecured bail.

“If this is true we were all fooled, along with scores of professionals trained in such things, and we grieve for the victims and their families. They are in our prayers,” Paterno said in his statement.

He added: “I understand that people are upset and angry, but let’s be fair and let the legal process unfold. In the meantime I would ask all Penn Staters to continue to trust in what that name represents, continue to pursue their lives every day with high ideals and not let these events shake their beliefs nor who they are.”

These children were RAPED!  And, the law in Pennsylvania stipulates MANDATORY REPORTING, which was NOT done!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Red, White & View” – Teen Dating Violence Discussion…

 

VICE PRESIDENT JOSEPH R. BIDEN TO DISCUSS ISSUE OF DATING VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT AFFECTING TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS, LIVE ON “THE VIEW,” TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27

Barbara Walters and Bill Geddie, executive producers of the ABC’s Daytime Emmy® Award-winning talk show, “The View,” announced that Joseph R. Biden, the 47th Vice President of the United States, will be the special guest, live, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 (11:00 a.m.-12:00 noon, ET). The Vice President will focus on the threat of dating violence and sexual assault that continues to exist for teens and young adults across the country. The Vice President’s appearance is part of “Red, White & View” continuing the show’s commitment to political guests and discussions.

The author of the landmark Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), Vice President Biden has led the effort to combat violence against women for over 20 years. He continues the cause today leading the fight from the White House.

Over the past year, in response to the high rates of violence and abuse that continue to face young women under the age of 24, Vice President Biden has refocused his long standing commitment to reducing violence against women specifically on teens and young adults. Under the Vice President’s leadership, the Administration has undertaken a wide range of new and innovative efforts to address the issue. Just last week, in a video message released via Twitter and YouTube, Vice President Biden launched the “1is2Many” project calling on high school and college-aged students to share their ideas on preventing dating violence and sexual assault at schools and on their campuses.

Dating abuse isn’t always as obvious as bruises and beatings. In fact, if you don’t know any better, some of the most common forms of relationship abuse might seem like the way that boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to act.

That’s why it’s so important that you learn the signs of abusive relationships as soon as you start dating. If any of the signs below are true for your relationship, get help.  The following signs can be applied to abused males as well by girlfriends.  Victimization DOES NOT discriminate.

1. He Constantly Checks In on You

If your sweetie’s attentive and asks you about your life, that’s fantastic. But if he constantly calls you and expects a full report on where you’ve been and who you’ve been with, then something more sinister’s going on.

2. He Lies to You

Relationships can’t survive unless you trust each other, and if your partner abuses that trust by lying to you, it’s a relationship that isn’t worth keeping. A couple of white lies are forgivable. Lying regularly, or lying about important stuff, is absolutely not.

3. He Won’t Let You Talk to Other Guys

Don’t stand for this form of relationship abuse. You’re allowed to talk to anyone of any gender you want. If your sweetie is suspicious of something, he should have a mature conversation with you about it, but he’s not allowed to control your behavior.

4. He Threatens to Hurt Himself

When someone tells you something like, “I’ll kill myself if you break up with me,” they’re using fear and guilt to manipulate you. Any threat should be taken seriously, so speak to a parent or counselor about it. But you don’t have to play along.

5. He Loses His Temper Quickly

Everyone gets mad sometimes, and that’s okay. But if your sweetie snaps at you over the tiniest things and blames you for things that aren’t your fault, then something’s wrong (and it’s not you).

6. He Embarrasses You in Public

No one who loves you (or even likes you a lot) should ever make you feel bad about yourself. Doing it in public – by calling you names or making fun of you when other people are watching – is especially cruel, and you don’t have to stand for it.

7. He Forces You to Have Sex

Sex doesn’t just mean intercourse. It can mean a whole range of sexual activity, including oral sex or even just touching. If your partner forces you to do anything physical that you don’t want to do, get out of the relationship.

8. He Keeps You Away From Your Friends

Abusers are pretty smart. They know that if your friends found out the truth, they’d tell you to get out of the relationship lickety-split. By pushing your friends away, abusers are trying to protect themselves. Don’t let them.

9. He Looks at Your Phone

No one – not even the love of your life – has the right to monitor your calls and texts. And you’re allowed to be in contact with whomever you want (even your exes). If your sweetie disagrees, he’s trying to control you, and that’s a form of abuse.

10. He Does Anything That Scares You in Any Way

This could mean physical violence, the threat of violence, harsh words or dangerous behavior of any kind. Bottom line: if you’re scared to be around someone – even someone you love – don’t be around them any more. Break it off right away.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

 

 

Phone App Wakes Parents Up to Teen Dating Abuse via WeNews…

Parental involvement is key to combating teen dating abuse, says Jane Randel. The Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love Is Not Abuse campaign has created an iPhone application to educate parents on what their teens may be going through.

For the past seven years, the Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love Is Not Abuse initiative has worked to combat and prevent teen dating abuse. One of the key insights gleaned during that time is that parental involvement and guidance are essential to preventing teen dating abuse.

We’ve also learned that there are inherent challenges to parental intervention. Although parents recognize dating abuse as a problem, many believe the issue simply does not affect their child. Many also don’t realize that technology has become a platform for abuse.

Teen dating abuse is much more prevalent than many parents think; 10 percent of U.S. high school students reported experiencing assault by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the past year, according to Adolescent Health study authors Emily Rothman, an associate professor of community health sciences at the Boston University School of Public Health, and Dr. Elizabeth Miller, division of adolescent medicine chief at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh.

And dating abuse is not only physical. Other, very common, forms of abuse include emotional and digital abuse. A recent study commissioned by Liz Claiborne Inc. found that 1-in-4 teens report being abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend through technology.

The need to engage parents is why we have created the Love Is Not Abuse iPhone application (app), an exciting new resource designed to educate parents and get them talking to their teens. The app informs parents about the warning signs of dating violence and emotional and digital dating abuse. Included are tips on how to talk to your teen about dating abuse and national resources to get help.

Various Developers

The app was developed with leading experts, researchers,

parents affected by dating abuse and partner organizations, including LoveIsRepect.org, the New York-based Joyful Heart Foundation and Break the Cycle and the National Network to End Domestic Violence, both based in Washington, D.C., among others.

When we recently launched the app, Denise DeZao, a mother of a teen dating abuse survivor, shared her experiences with teen dating abuse and explained why she believes the app is critical to educating parents about abuse.

“At the time, I did not recognize that my daughter was involved in an abusive relationship,” she said. “I now realize that the red flags were rapidly waving in front of me. When I experienced the app for the first time, I had the oddest sensation. I felt as if I could totally and completely experience how my daughter must have felt in her relationship. If resources like this app had been available to us then, I am confident that I would have acted upon the signs and intervened in the early stages of the relationship.”

Education is key to prevention. Parents must take a proactive approach and educate themselves on teen dating abuse before their teens enter relationships.

Resources are readily available in the app, and while some parents may find initial conversations uncomfortable, it is our hope that the Love Is Not Abuse app will be utilized to help prevent dating violence and wake parents up to the reality of teen dating abuse.

Jane Randel is senior vice president of corporate communications and brand services at Liz Claiborne Inc. Randel spearheads the company’s award-winning, cause marketing program, Love Is Not Abuse, to generate awareness, educate the public and ultimately prevent violence against women. She is on the National Advisory Board of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and is a member of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape/National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s Honorary Board.

By Jane Randel, WeNews commentator.]

Teen Dating Abuse Facts:

*60% parents cannot sufficiently identify the warning signs of abuse

*1 in 4 teens report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse

*1 in 5 high school girls have been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner

*Dating violence among peers is reported by 54% of high school students.

*1 in 3 teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been physically hurt by his or her partner through violent actions which included hitting, punching, kicking, slapping and/or choking

*80% of teens believe verbal abuse is a serious issue for their age group

*Nearly 80% of girls who have been victims of physical abuse in their dating relationships continue to date the abuser.

*Nearly 20% of teen girls who have been in a relationship said their boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm in the event of a break-up.

*The majority of teen dating abuse occurs in the home of one of the partners.

Teen Dating Abuse Warning Signs:

• Isolation: Does your daughter have fewer friends than she did before meeting her boyfriend? This speaks to the isolation that an abusive boy imposes on a girlfriend. He might isolate her first from her friends, then from her outside activities and then her family. She can then become emotionally dependent on him, and find it difficult to leave.
• Emotional Changes: In the early infatuation stage of any relationship girls are often happy. Once the boy becomes abusive, she begins feeling sad and desperate. She may cry more or want to be alone.
• Constant Communication: Does your daughter’s boyfriend constantly call or text her, and she must call him back immediately? He might ask her where she is, what she’s doing, who she’s with, what time she’ll be back and how many other boys she has spoken to.
• Jealousy Issues: You might notice the boyfriend’s jealousy. If your daughter looks at or speaks casually with another boy, does he get upset? Did he tell her that he loved her early in the relationship? This is his “hook.” Your daughter might find this romantic, but it could be another red flag for jealousy and issues with control.
• The Boyfriend’s Background: If your daughter’s boyfriend comes from a tragic home life, it could mean trouble. He might not be far behind in his parent’s footsteps if they use drugs or are abusive to him or each other.
• The Need to Impress: When he gives her “advice” about her choice in friends, hairstyle, clothes or makeup, notice if she’s following his every word. Your daughter is likely in complete denial and may be in fear of what he will do to her if she doesn’t change.
• Making Excuses for Him: Your daughter might stick-up for her boyfriend, defending his words and actions. Don’t let her denial force you to ignore your gut! He may have convinced her that she’s too sensitive when he calls her names or told her he’s “only kidding.”

If you keep the line of communication open with her, you’ll be able to notice more signs. For more information, call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474, LoveIsNotAbuse at  866.331.9474 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Myths About Male Sexual Abuse…

Myth #1 - Boys and men can’t be victims.

This myth, instilled through masculine gender socialization and sometimes referred to as the “macho image,” declares that males, even young boys, are not supposed to be victims or even vulnerable. We learn very early that males should be able to protect themselves. In truth, boys are children – weaker and more vulnerable than their perpetrators – who cannot really fight back. Why? The perpetrator has greater size, strength, and knowledge. This power is exercised from a position of authority, using resources such as money or other bribes, or outright threats – whatever advantage can be taken to use a child for sexual purposes.

Myth #2 - Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by homosexual males.

Pedophiles who molest boys are not expressing a homosexual orientation any more than pedophiles who molest girls are practicing heterosexual behaviors. While many child molesters have gender and/or age preferences, of those who seek out boys, the vast majority are not homosexual. They are pedophiles.

Myth #3 - If a boy experiences sexual arousal or orgasm from abuse, this means he was a willing participant or enjoyed it.

In reality, males can respond physically to stimulation (get an erection) even in traumatic or painful sexual situations. Therapists who work with sexual offenders know that one way a perpetrator can maintain secrecy is to label the child’s sexual response as an indication of his willingness to participate. “You liked it, you wanted it,” they’ll say. Many survivors feel guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal while being abused. Physical (and visual or auditory) stimulation is likely to happen in a sexual situation. It does not mean that the child wanted the experience or understood what it meant at the time.

Myth #4 - Boys are less traumatized by the abuse experience than girls.

While some studies have found males to be less negatively affected, more studies show that long term effects are quite damaging for either sex. Males may be more damaged by society’s refusal or reluctance to accept their victimization, and by their resultant belief that they must “tough it out” in silence.

Myth #5 - Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual.

While there are different theories about how the sexual orientation develops, experts in the human sexuality field do not believe that premature sexual experiences play a significant role in late adolescent or adult sexual orientation. It is unlikely that someone can make another person a homosexual or heterosexual. Sexual orientation is a complex issue and there is no single answer or theory that explains why someone identifies himself as homosexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual. Whether perpetrated by older males or females, boys’ or girls’ premature sexual experiences are damaging in many ways, including confusion about one’s sexual identity and orientation.

Many boys who have been abused by males erroneously believe that something about them sexually attracts males, and that this may mean they are homosexual or effeminate. Again, not true. Pedophiles who are attracted to boys will admit that the lack of body hair and adult sexual features turns them on. The pedophile’s inability to develop and maintain a healthy adult sexual relationship is the problem – not the physical features of a sexually immature boy.

Myth #6 - The “Vampire Syndrome”?that is, boys who are sexually abused, like the victims of Count Dracula, go on to “bite” or sexually abuse others.

This myth is especially dangerous because it can create a terrible stigma for the child, that he is destined to become an offender. Boys might be treated as potential perpetrators rather than victims who need help. While it is true that most perpetrators have histories of sexual abuse, it is NOT true that most victims go on to become perpetrators. Research by Jane Gilgun, Judith Becker and John Hunter found a primary difference between perpetrators who were sexually abused and sexually abused males who never perpetrated: non-perpetrators told about the abuse, and were believed and supported by significant people in their lives. Again, the majority of victims do not go on to become adolescent or adult perpetrators; and those who do perpetrate in adolescence usually don’t perpetrate as adults if they get help when they are young.

Myth #7 - If the perpetrator is female, the boy or adolescent should consider himself fortunate to have been initiated into heterosexual activity.

In reality, premature or coerced sex, whether by a mother, aunt, older sister, baby-sitter or other female in a position of power over a boy, causes confusion at best, and rage, depression or other problems in more negative circumstances. To be used as a sexual object by a more powerful person, male or female, is always abusive and often damaging.

Believing these myths is dangerous and damaging.

• So long as society believes these myths, and teaches them to children from their earliest years, sexually abused males will be unlikely to get the recognition and help they need.
• So long as society believes these myths, sexually abused males will be more likely join the minority of survivors who perpetuate this suffering by abusing others.
• So long as boys or men who have been sexually abused believe these myths, they will feel ashamed and angry.
• And so long as sexually abused males believe these myths they reinforce the power of another devastating myth that all abused children struggle with: that it was their fault. It is never the fault of the child in a sexual situation – though perpetrators can be quite skilled at getting their victims to believe these myths and take on responsibility that is always and only their own.

For any male who has been sexually abused, becoming free of these myths is an essential part of the recovery process.

Adapted from a presentation at the 5th International Conference on Incest and Related Problems, Biel, Switzerland, August 14, 1991.

Via MENWEB and in cooperation with M.A.L.E.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Breaking: Pedophilia Controversy

Over the last few days we have seen a few articles written about B4U-ACT and the conferences they are holding.  This organization is attempting to normalize pedophilia.  They are attempting to change the name of pedophiles to “minor attracted” as well as create a way for the public to be more tolerant of pedophiles and to change and enact laws to help pedophiles and lesson sex offender laws.

B4U-ACT was founded by Michael Melsheimer aka Lek who was a sex offender, a pedophile and an activist member of Boy Chat.  He ran B4U-ACT with Richard Kramer.  Richard Kramer of the website, MHAMic (Male Homosexual Attraction to Minors Information Center) runs a website designed to coerce the public into believing sexual abuse of children is not harmful.  B4U-Act is also associated with Reformsexoffenderlaws.org who is attempting to change law lessoning  sex offender incarcerations and stop the sex offender registry and also  has ties to NAMBLA.

We must get active.  We as American’s have a duty to protect our children and our nations children from harm.  As Child Abuse Advocates we know first hand how physically and emotionally harmful and scarring pedophilia is.  We know that child sexual abuse not only physically hurts children, not only mentally hurts children but in some cases kills children. We know it is not “love” as they claim, but ABUSE!!!!  We know that sexual abuse of our children must not be tolerated, must not ever be accepted and must be fought with everything we have!  Please share this note with everyone you know.  Ask everyone to use their voice.  Post it on pages of media outlets and every child abuse advocates pages !!!  Share this with every single friend !!!  The people behind these organizations are CRIMINALS !!!! THEY MUST BE STOPPED, WE MUST OPEN EVERYONE’S EYES TO THIS !!!!

Please see the following links below to get a better understanding and confirm this for yourself.

B4U-Act Website:

http://www.b4uact.org/

Recent news articles about B4U-Act:

FOX2 VIDEO LINKS:

 http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/25/paving-way-for-condoning-child-rape/

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/24/mental-health-group-looks-to-remove-stigma-from-pedophilia/

http://www.salon.com/life/sexual_abuse/?story=/mwt/feature/2011/08/17/pedophilia

DAILY CALLER LINK:

http://dailycaller.com/2011/08/15/conference-aims-to-normalize-pedophilia/

Please research the following websites:

Reform Sex Offender Laws

MHAMic

NAMBLA

BoyChat

Who was Michael Melsheimer the founder of B4U-Act??

Michael Frederick Melsheimer, 67, of Westminster, died Thursday, July 15, 2010, at Carroll Hospice’s Dove House. Born Aug. 21, 1942, in Jacksonville, Fla., he was the son of the late Richard L. and Nancy R. Ison Melsheimer. He was an Army veteran having served during the Vietnam era. He was a social service worker, and co-founded and was active with the nonprofit B4U-ACT. Surviving is a friend, Russell Dick, of Westminster.  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/carrollcountytimes/obituary.aspx?n=michael-f-melsheimer&pid=144094084

B4U-ACT is an advocacy organization for “minor attracted adults” who they claim are being discriminated against by society. On their site they claim to want to help child molesters get the therapeutic help they need to not act on their impulses, but this is a lie they use to keep their 501(c)(3) status and remain eligible for grant money they receive from the state of Maryland.

The truth of B4U-ACT is made plain by the online activities of those involved in the group. In May of 2009 a “Richard K” working on behalf of B4U-ACT posted the following on a now defunct child molester forum called Boylove.net:

For those of you who don’t know, B4U-ACT (www.b4uact.org) is a 501c3 non-profit organization started by Mike Melsheimer, an out BL [boy lover] who posts at Boychat. The goal of B4U-ACT is to promote communication between BLs/GLs and mental health professionals so they can learn about us and start to work with us to counteract stereotyping, stigmatization, and hatred.

We also want to help them develop *humane* and ethical ways of working with those BLs who want therapy to deal with society’s hatred, or other issues related or unrelated to being BLs. (B4U-ACT does *not* believe BLs are “sick” and need to be “cured”.)

I now work with B4U-ACT, and was part of the planning committee for this workshop that was held last Thursday. The following is a report of what was discussed at the workshop. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2767355/posts

The late Mike Melsheimer who started B4U-Act was a convicted child molester, first caught in 1984 when he was the director of Pennsylvania YMCA. He befriended the two young sons of a Nicaraguan immigrant and began producing child pornography using the boys. In 2002 Melsheimer made the news in Maryland by publicly demanding the state provide him lists of comprehensive mental health services for his pedophilia. At the same time, he was a frequent poster on pro-child rape forums using his own name or sometimes the handle “Lek” where he spoke at length of the time he spent in Thailand. In one 2009 discussion on a forum called Boychat, Melsheimer is taken to task by other child molesters for B4U-ACT’s claim they want to help stop “minor attracted adults” from offending. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2767355/posts

Who is Richard Kramer?

Richard Kramer is the owner of the website “Male Homosexual Attraction to Minors Information Center” and a member of “Boy Chat”.  Here is an example of him speaking out on  the BoyChat website:

We have to examine our audience and our message. As for the former, we have to do triage. The antis (including the mainstream media, politicians, etc.) are a waste of time. Life’s too short and our emotional resources are too limited to get into arguments with people who can’t change their minds about us or have vested (political or financial) interests in perpetuating the lies. Then there are the people who already understand (mainly us, but there are a few non-MAAs who understand).

We need to identify the middle group: people who don’t know us but who we have a chance of helping to understand. These are people who:

- are oriented toward compassion, understanding, and acceptance of marginalized people

- aren’t easily frightened about sex, different perspectives; and

- are skeptical of the conventional wisdom.

It’s also important that they have some kind of influence in society in order to maximize the effect of our contacts with them.

As for our message, it’s silly and counterproductive to argue a pro-sex position. That’s not even the real issue. Society needs to believe we’re dangerous in order to justify their hatred. THE HATRED COMES FIRST. Trying to address any issue without addressing the hatred is like treating the symptoms without treating the illness. The gay movement knows that. Very little of the pro-gay literature actually talks about sex. It’s all about accepting differences, not hating, stereotyping, and doing violence to people for a characteristic they did not choose, and caring for children and teenagers who are growing up in a society that rejects them. http://absolutezerounited.blogspot.com/2009/03/this-is-important-discussion.html

The list goes on and on and on, Doctors and Pedophiles working together to achieve their common goal.  I won’t list them all here and waste any more space but if you google any of these names you will find a slew of other people working with them to normalize child sexual abuse.

These organizations are all tied in with each other through the common ground of being  pedophiles.  Here is a great video on youtube that thoroughly shows how by combining their collective efforts they are attempting to legalize pedophilia.

Their goal is to take all shame and responsibility out of the lust for children.

The APA (American Psychiatric Association) did not participate in the conference and does NOT condone the group’s message.  “An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act and this is NEVER considered normal or socially acceptable behavior.” (APA 2003 position statement.)

Is Your Child’s Lifeguard, Camp Counselors, Coaches Sex Offenders?

State laws nationwide prohibit sex offenders from working as school teachers, coaches and school bus drivers, but most laws do not prevent them from sitting in a lifeguard chair, teaching karate, coaching youth, or dance instructors in the private sector.  There is a laundry list of jobs that are not regulated federally that a convicted sex offender can obtain.  This fact is beyond scary and government must take immediate action to stop it.

The current federal law, known as the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006, leaves it up to states to decide where convicted sex offenders can be employed.

YMCA’s have begun revoking the memberships of registered sex offenders in a move to comb out predators who may come in contact with the thousands of children who use Y’s.

Senator Chuck Schumer, D-NY, is proposing legislation that would close what he is calling loopholes in the federal law that currently allow pedophiles to work with children. “Sex offenders are different than just about any other criminal because the percent of recidivism is huge and the chance of rehabilitation is unfortunately small,” Schumer told ABCNews.com.

According to the Center for Sex Offender Management, a part of the U.S. Department of Justice, between 12 and 14 percent of sex offenders are known to have repeated their crimes.  Data does show, however, that many sex crimes go unreported and the statistic could be low.

Ultimately every company should have in place a complete background check of every potential employee (National, State and County). And, periodic checks should be in place.

As parents and guardians it is your J-O-B to be proactive as the safety of your children is in your hands.  There is so much information at our fingertips today.  Do not be afraid to ask questions, do not be nervous about what others may think if you inquire or you feel that something may not seem “right”.  Speak up, be a voice.  You would rather be safe than sorry.  And, you have every right to know what the policy is of the company or organization is that your child is attending or participating in.  Also, ask the organizations if the staff is certified in Stewards of Children, a training prevention program based on Darkness to Light’s 7 Steps to Protecting our Children that teaches adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse.

Common traits of sex offenders should help you raise the red flag on inappropriate relationships between adults and your children.

Be wary, but not paranoid, of adults who have one or several of these behaviors.

These common traits of sex offenders should help you raise the red flag on inappropriate relationships between adults and your children.

• Adults who seem preoccupied with children
• Single adults who work or volunteer with children’s clubs/activities and frequently spend their free time doing “special” things with kids
• Adults who spend time volunteering with youth groups who do not have children in those groups
• Adults who seem to engage in frequent contact with children, i.e., casual touching, caressing, wrestling, tickling, combing hair or having children sit on their lap
• Adults who act like children when with children or who allow children to do questionable or inappropriate things
• Adults who want to take your children on special outings too frequently or plan activities that would include being alone with your child
• Adults who do not have children and seem to know too much about the current fads or music popular with children
• Adults that your children seem to like for reasons you don’t understand
• Adults who seem able to infiltrate family and social functions or are “always available” to watch your kids

Talking to your kids about abuse and keeping the line of communication open with your kids is key.

• Use proper or semi-proper names for body parts (penis and vagina), and phrases like: Private parts are “private and special.”
• Tell your children that if anyone touches or tries to see their private parts; tries to get them to touch or look at another person’s private parts; shows them pictures of or tries to take pictures of their private parts; talks to them about sex; walks in on them in the bathroom; or does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable to tell you or a “support person” as soon as they can.
• Tell your children that some children and adults have “touching problems.” These people can make “secret touching” look accidental, and they should still tell you even if they think it might have been an accident.
• Tell your children that touching problems are kind of like stealing or lying, and that the people who have those kinds of problems need special help so they don’t continue to have problems or get into trouble. Don’t describe it as a “sickness.”
• Tell your children that some people try to trick kids into keeping touching a secret. Tell your children, “We don’t want those kinds of secrets in our family.”
• Give your children examples of things that someone might use to try to get them to keep a secret: candy, money, special privileges, threats, subtle fear of loss, separation, or punishment.
• Make sure they have support people they can talk to at home, at school, in their extended family, neighborhood or church. Have them pick out three people and tell you who they are. Put the phone numbers next to your home phone and let them know that, if for any reason they cannot talk to you, they should call or go see another support person.

Resources (Where Do Sex Offenders Live in Your Neighborhood?):

Family Watchdog

NeighborhoodScan.com

National Alert Registry

Download the app, “Find Sex Offenders” for FREE for iPhones and Adroids TODAY!  Not only will it give you exact locations of an offenders address and more it displays the nearest police and fire departments.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Taking a bold effort to reach into communities across the country, Anny Jacoby is a Prevention Specialist and an authorized Facilitator for Stewards of Children through the Darkness to Light program, an organization whose mission is to train adults in every community to responsibly attack the issue of child sexual abuse.

Please contact Anny to schedule Children’s of Steward’s training or to arrange a Prevent Now! meeting for your community.

anny@annyjacoby.com

919-225-1421

“It’s Time To Get Your Head Out Of The Sand…”

Becoming educated makes a person more understanding, more aware and more comfortable with the truth.  I am personally becoming more and more appalled with parents that do exactly what is displayed in the picture above.  And, then I get phone calls and emails that their daughters have been assaulted and asked to help them through the system at the schools and law enforcement departments.  Makes me shake my head and ask………”Didn’t you even take the opportunity to check into the crimes stats BEFORE even visiting? Or, spend a some money on giving her the education and advantage of personal safety?”  The majority of the time is “NO”.

It is time for females AND parents to get their heads out of the sand, understand the myths (excuses) and learn the facts (reality) of “realisitic” personal safety training/self-defense and to become proactive. There is not one form of personal safety training/self-defense that is 100% guaranteed. Weapons of every kind are not a guarantee either (we’ll look at this too). However, with education at least you may be able to detect (awareness), learn the ability to de-escalate a potentially dangerous situation and ultimately if a physical altercation occurs you will be better equipped with the knowledge of “realistic” defense.

We all have excuses for things in our lives that we don’t do or spend too much time doing. These excuses serve as deterrents preventing us from following through with action and benefits. When you begin to understand or experience the consequences of your excuses you get a really good reality check. This reality check (wake-up call) usually changes your way of thinking automatically.

The “myth concept” not only affects many areas in our lives but also has the same influence in the personal safety training/self-defense world. These myths make females apprehensive toward or opposed to personal safety training/self-defense.

A myth can be and often is used as an excuse for not doing something. 

The attitude, “it won’t happen to me” is a huge myth; every female should look in the mirror and realize that victimization does not discriminate. This is just plain ignorance if you believe that the possibility that you cannot be a victim is true. You have to debunk the thought that learning personal safety training/self-defense carries negative characteristics (aggression, arrogance, or violence). And, by not understanding that if trained properly to obtain the mental and physical abilities that you can possibly prevent or de-escalate an attack is a total underestimation on your part.

When we begin to understand the facts=reality of these myths=excuses we begin to understand objectives, the effectiveness and the technique of personal safety training/self-defense. We can save our life or the life of someone we love. We can prevent ourselves from becoming a statistic of crime. As I stated above, personal safety training/self-defense is not a guaranteed free pass from crime; however, your chances of survival and the ability to detect a possible altercation are increased significantly.

Becoming educated your level of awareness increases or is heightened, your intuition (gut instincts) are better in tune and your physical abilities are sharpened so that your chances of being attacked, raped or murdered are statistically lessened. You won’t broadcast that you know “self-defense” but you won’t walk down a certain street or in an area when your instincts (gut) kicks in and tells you to turn back. When someone grabs you from behind you won’t freeze but immediately your reaction will be to fight back upon recognition of your window of opportunity. You will see that a seemingly hopeless and defenseless situation has more opportunities for defense than you could have ever imagined.

Personal safety training/self-defense is NOT about being paranoid, it IS about being smart!

Knowledge is a powerful tool.

Stop making excuses and do something powerful for yourself and your loved ones – obtain Personal Safety Training. Training (mind, body and soul) that you will have for the rest of your life.

How can any parent put a price tag on the life of their daughter?  Why wouldn’t you want your daughter in high school/middle school and especially college bound to be educated?

Question……beside looking at the pretty websites and visiting University after University…..has anyone truly looked in the stats of these schools as to their crime stats via The Jean Cleary Act or Title IX?  Parents…..do your homework.  In my book……………NO CAMPUS IS CRIME FREE AND THE NUMBER OF FEMALE STUDENTS BEING ASSAULTED (BY SOMEONE THEY KNOW OR RANDOM) IS OFF THE CHARTS.  Parents……give your daughter the tools for her tool belt, give her the opportunity that she will have for the rest of her life.  No parent wants to receive “that phone call”; trust me.  (*Again, no personal safety course is 100% guaranteed, but even if she gains 50% knowledge of what she never had to begin with isn’t that worth something?)  Think about…………long and hard.  Again, can you honestly put a price tag on your daughter’s life?  Most parents answer is “NO”.

How can any female NOT want to be proactive and at least have the knowledge of COULD happen if I don’t know personal safety?  Personal safety is so much more than watching a DVD in your livingroom – it is truly about education and ultimately physically how to protect oneself.  Girls talk to your parents……this is an exciting time but you guys have to know the possibilities and reality.  Not to “scare” you but you have to know the odds and know how to handle situations.

Parents – get involved in your daughter’s safety during college.  Parents or Gals……contact me for details as we are gearing up our tour to bring personal safety training (6 hours on one weekend day) to communities everywhere! Organizers of training’s will train for FREE!

Take care and STAY SAFE!