Stalking IS a C-R-I-M-E!
STALKING IS A CRIME!
“He Was Really Scary…I Had a Stalker”
Me and my mom were volunteering to set up for a dance at a country club. We’d already volunteered a few times, but this time we met a few other volunteers there. There was a woman and her son. So her son kept coming up to me and asking me questions about how to set up the tables and where they kept the food we were supposed to put out, so basically all of the questions the guy who owned the place had already answered. I figured he just needed a friend. I wasn’t creeped out until he started staring at me. I would look at him and he would look away, but right when I looked away out of the corner of my eye I could see him looking at me again. I was kind of freaked out, so after I was done volunteering that day my mom said we could leave. I went to get my coat and he followed me and asked me if I was coming to the dance. I told him no, and he looked like he was very mad at me and he walked away. So me and my mom leave, and I forget about this guy. Then like 2 weeks later I get this phone call, and I answer and it’s the guy I met at the volunteering place. He asks me if I’m busy that day and I tell him sorry I am and he yells at me and hangs up. I never gave him my number and I wasn’t sure how he got it. Then he called later that night and said he was sorry for calling and yelling at me. He asks me if I’m busy the next day. I tell him I’m sorry but I am. He doesn’t say anything and he just says bye and hangs up. So basically he just kept calling me every day and asking me if I was busy. I got sick of him calling and when he would call I would have a family member answer and say I wasn’t home. Then in the middle of the night I was up and I was in the kitchen getting something to drink when I hear a knock at my slider door and I see him standing there with a flashlight. I screamed and then ran to my parents room. My dad gets up and he doesn’t see him and our door was locked so we know he didn’t get inside. I slept in their room and then a few months passed. He calls my house again and asks me why I didn’t let him in. I hang up on him and block his number. He gets another phone and calls my house and he asks why his girlfriend (me) blocked his number. I told him I wasn’t his girlfriend and he needs to leave me alone or I was going to call the cops. He chickens out for a few years. Then I’m in my senior year of high school and he comes to my door asking if I remember him. I tell him that I have a boyfriend and that he needs to go away. He waited outside my school in the parking lot and then he asked if i wanted a ride. I tell him no I have a ride and he gets mad and yells at me. I got a ride from one of my friends and he follows us so she drives around and eventually he gives up. A few days later her tires are slashed. I’m asleep in my room the next night and he breaks open my window and comes inside. I’m screaming at the top of my lungs but my parents are on a cruise and I’m the only one home. I was positive I was going to die. I finally stop screaming because I’m crying so hard and he’s just making it worse by trying to hug me and comfort me and crap and I start screaming for help. He says he’s going to take me somewhere and were going to run away together and while he’s saying his whole plan the cops get there. He tried to run but the cops cought him and then took him to prison. So now it’s years later and I’m married and I found out the neighbor across the street heard me screaming and called the cops when she saw the window broken. I also found out that the guy who owned the country club gave him my address because he said we left stuff there and he was going to bring it to our house. So I’ve never volunteered anywhere besides schools ever since then.
The above stalking victim wrote in her own words what and how her stalker stalked her. I find that it helps to share with readers real life experiences of victims so just perhaps you will have a better understanding of the devastating effects that stalking have on victims of this serious crime.
As you can see stalking cases are carried out by ex-partners or by someone that you have never had close relationship with, many victims have never even met their stalker. Often a victim’s stalker can be someone known through work, or a friend of a friend or it could be someone you pass on the street. And with the internet as huge as it is, sometimes people never set eyes on their stalker.
One of the main problems is that so many of us are brought up to be polite and kind, and rather to rebuff unwanted attention, we often let it go. We find ourselves in slightly awkward situations and do not make it clear that we are unhappy. For example, with repeated text messages from someone we don’t know well, we might reply politely to one or two. After that we might ignore them, when perhaps the best although not necessarily the easiest thing to do is say that you do not want any more texts. The number of stalking victims are alarming and terrifying.
Stalking is a serious crime which usually hits the headlines when it’s linked to A-list celebs, but falling prey to a stalker is something that never crosses most of our minds. Stalking is on the rise as both women and men are being targeted by predatory stalkers.
If you are stalked:
First and foremost, have no contact with your stalker.
- Show no emotion, regardless of how scared or angry you are. Never confront or agree to meet your stalker.
- Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable reach out for help.
- Carry a cell phone with you at all times. Keep handy, memorize emergency phone numbers or program them into your speed dial in case of an emergency.
- Call your local law enforcement and file a report of all incidents.
- Tell your friends, family, neighbors, work colleagues and employer. All have the right to know what is happening for your safety as well as their own.
- Try not to travel alone. Always vary your routes to and from work or school, the grocery store and any other places regularly visited. By changing your daily routes, it could make it more difficult for someone to learn your routine. If you run or walk for exercise, always get a friend (buddy) to go with you.
- Keep evidence like texts, emails, letters and parcels. Record anything that could be proof and keep Stalker and Incident Behavior Log for reference.
- If you are being followed, try to stay calm. If you’re driving, head for the nearest police department to get help.
- If you ever feel in imminent danger, call 911.
The more the public becomes aware of the effects and toll that stalking can do to a victim – perhaps the more we will realize that STALKING IS A CRIME and it is NEVER the victim’s fault.
Every day should be an internal check about every awareness. Focusing on just one month a year of any specific cause is so minuet as the EPIDEMIC of assaults on females are off the charts.
STALKING: KNOW IT. NAME IT. STOP IT.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Happy Holidays!
Wishing everyone a wonderful Blessed Holiday.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
YMCA’s Take Child Protection Very Seriously
YMCAs take child protection very seriously. Their extensive policies and attention to safety regarding every program and service make them a leader in “state of the art” child protection policy. They also know that this alone does not keep children safe in their communities. They instead recognize the need for leadership at every level to be involved and engaged in protecting children from sexual abuse. With the health and well being of children and families at the heart of their mission and a long history of tackling tough community issues, Y’s across the country are stepping up to convene leaders and engage the entire community in prevention.
Teaming up to support these local Y efforts, D2L and The Redwoods Group Foundation are providing tools, resources and funding assistance to help YMCAs operationalize wide spread community awareness and education. Our vision is that Ys, serving as the natural conveners, bring together community leaders, other local child-serving organizations, and policy makers as partners in prevention. This exciting collaboration is empowering communities with a strategy and a model for creating and sustaining positive change in the protection of children from child sexual abuse.
YMCAs are helping lead a national effort to build community initiatives that increase awareness of the problem of child sexual abuse and bring prevention to the local level. A key to their success with such initiatives is their ability to bring together the right people and resources to facilitate change in communities nationwide. Locally, they do this every day generating solutions to challenges facing their communities.
While community prevention initiatives across the country are having an impact, Y’s have the ability to exponentially increase participation in the effort. Serving over 9 million children and 12 million adults in 10,000 communities they can be the most effective and efficient pathway to reducing child sexual abuse. In addition, one of the Y’s focus area is social responsibility, and their emphasis on youth development makes them a natural partner to address this issue. As former Y CEO, Ralph Yohe stated, “Y’s are uniquely position to take a leadership role in prevention as we are often at the heart of a community, we have a long history of tackling community issues, and bottom line, the protection and well being of children is part of our mission.”
Thanks to the impact YMCAs have on kids, families and communities—and the sheer number of communities they serve—this “Y movement” will lead the way in engaging the largest group of citizens yet in child protection!
YMCA Background
In early 2009, The Redwoods Group, a commercial specialty insurance group based in NC and one of the largest insurers for YMCAs, contacted Darkness to Light to explore synergies between the two organizations. Redwoods felt that they could provide benefit to their clients by adding Stewards of Children prevention curriculum to their training offerings, believing that the empowering and emotional elements of the program would augment the policy and procedure training components that were also necessary.
Kevin Trapani, founder and CEO of Redwoods, had a bigger vision. The Redwoods Group is a privately‐held, Certified B Corps that takes their responsibility for the safety of children at Y’s across the country very seriously. Not only that, social responsibility is at the core of everything Redwoods believes so it wasn’t enough to just address child safety within the 4 walls of a Y.
A collaboration begins…In 2010, the social enterprise’s Foundation made a commitment to facilitate community‐based child sexual abuse prevention through YMCA’s. Over the past three years, the Redwoods Group Foundation has dedicated significant time, energy, and financial capitol to protect children from the trauma of sexual abuse. Collaborating with Darkness to Light, a Stewards of Children “seed fund” was created to assist YMCAs in starting community initiatives. The Foundation has two staff members working to bring YMCAs together to propel the effort to scale. Their goal is to help YMCA’s engage community partners in child sexual abuse prevention and intervention. Ultimately, they hope the effort will be expanded to all YMCAs.
Via d2l
Anny is a Steward’s of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light’s certification programs. Please contact Anny to bring Prevent Now! community meetings your area and to arrange Steward’s of Children trainings. You may contact her via email, anny@annyjacoby.com or 919-225-1421.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
What Can We Learn From Penn State?
- We’ve learned that this issue is not about big universities, celebrity, or the Catholic Church. It’s not about reputations, or legacies or any one institution. This issue is about children.
- We’ve learned that we have to step into the reality that there are people in our midst that would rob children of their innocence and they are people we know and trust. They will go out of their way to appear above reproach and they will infiltrate our families and organizations where they can have easy access to children.
- We’ve learned that it takes tremendous courage for children and adults that have been abused to come forward. We must support and honor this courage and work together to ensure their story is not handed down to other innocent children.
- We’ve learned that child safety is the job of an adult. Teaching children how to keep themselves safe from abuse is important, but adults bear the burden of stepping up and speaking out when something doesn’t look or feel right with respect to the wellbeing of a child. We’ve learned that it may or may not be our legal responsibility as mandated reporters depending on where we live but morally it is the right thing to do. If you see something or suspect abuse, call the police.
- We’ve learned that the ramifications of not acting responsibly are clear. More abuse occurs, more children are harmed, fewer children get the help they so deserve. To be silent bystanders is to be complicit in its occurrance and wake. To intervene is to ensure that a child is treated and supported, that they are healed and better protected from potential lifelong hardships of trauma.
- We’ve learned that child sexual abuse is preventable. We can learn the facts, we can acknowledge the reality, we can talk to others adults, we can ensure youth serving organizations have comprehensive child protection policy, and we can talk to our children. Awareness and education is the answer.
- The fight against child abuse cannot be the job of one agency; it has to be a collaborative effort. It will take all of us to change culture–to one where engaged adults offer no place for a perpetrator to commit their heinous acts and no access to children.
- We can be stuck in the shock and horror of what happened at Penn State staying focused on who knew what and when or we can pledge right now to stay focused on the things we can do today that better protect children. Let Penn State serve as a wake-up call. Will we stay vigilant or will we again become complacent when the smoke clears?
Ways to Get Involved
- Learn the 7 Steps to Protecting Our Children
- Find out more about Stewards of Children, a training for adults on how to prevent, recognize, and react responsibly to child sexual abuse.
- Take Stewards of Children onlinenow.
- Join the Movement to end child sexual abuse
Via d2l.org
Anny is a Steward’s of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light’s certification programs. Please contact Anny to bring Prevent Now! community meetings your area and to arrange Steward’s of Children trainings. You may contact her via email, anny@annyjacoby.com or 919-225-1421.
Take care and stay safe.
Child Sexual Abuse Community Awareness Meetings Being Planned…
The Darkness to Light’s child sexual abuse program(s) are trainings across the United States.
Have you taken a stance again CSA? If not, why not? Call or email me to plan Darkness to Light’s Child Sexual Abuse Community Meetings, Prevent Now! (45 mins) and/or “Stewards of Children”, two-and-a-half training sessions for adults. Darkness to Lights program seeks “to empower adults through awarness and educational programs to PREVENT, RECOGNIZE AND REACT RESPONSIBLY to childhood sexual abuse.
“The only public good thing that came out of the horrible Penn State situation is it’s brough major attention to Child Sexual Abuse.” Take a stance, NOW!
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Sandusky case triggers pain well beyond campus…
As adults, victims suffer nightmares, anger, anxiety from childhood abuse.
By Kari Huus, Reporter msnbc.com
As the Penn State sex abuse scandal unfolds — ghastly detail by detail — on front pages, the airwaves and Twitter accounts, the news can be especially devastating for one group in particular: former victims of sexual abuse.
“Another night of triggers and flashbacks,” writes a forum member on MaleSurvivor.org, a website devoted to healing male victims of sexual abuse. “… I felt him all over me and my arms are scratched as I try to get the feeling of his hands off me. … I think all the (Penn State) news set the triggers off, and now I am like a zombie, trying to recover and move forward today.”
“I never met Jerry Sandusky, but feel I know him all too well,” writes another member of the forum, referring to the university’s former defensive coordinator who stands accused of sexually molesting at least eight young boys. “I dealt with my own ‘Jerry’ when I was 12 or 13. … Now that he is sated and I am long forgotten, I’m still picking up the pieces.”
“This whole thing is devastating me. These boys are lost in the details … just as most of us here were,” the member added.
Psychologists say that any sex abuse victim — man or woman — may find that news of the Penn State case sparks painful memories. But the way this case is unfolding strikes an especially deep chord with men.
“It can be very triggering of either their own memories — they may get flashbacks — or they may get angry again,” said Richard Gartner, a psychologist and psychoanalyst in New York, and spokesman for Malesurvivor.org. Some men may have to limit their news consumption, and maybe avoid watching football to avoid a panic attack or bout of depression, he said.
“It is re-traumatizing for them — more so to the extent that they believe that this is being handled wrong … and ignoring the needs of the victims.”
Different experience for boys
Sexual abuse has a different impact on boys than on girls, and they deal with it differently because of socialization, experts say.
“Men aren’t supposed to be victims. Men are supposed to be strong,” said Jim Hopper, clinical instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. “A man says I’m not a real man, because I let someone do this to me. I should have been tougher. Even after years of therapy they say this.”
Girls who are abused by men are psychologically damaged, to be sure, experts say, but boys abused by men often come to question their sexual identity and orientation.
“If they were sexually abused by a man, there’s this whole stigma — does that mean I’m gay, or did he do it to me because I look gay?” says Hopper.
Another difference: Boys who forced into sexual acts may have an erection — a physiological response which makes them all the more confused and ashamed of the encounter, Gartner says.
The women’s movement helped bring sexual assault of females into the public eye — and led to tougher penalties against attackers, more policy aimed at prevention and better access to care for victims. The focus on sexual abuse of boys came nearly 20 years later, when hundreds of childhood victims went public with stories of abuse by Catholic priests, according to Gartner.
Shame, silence, secrecy
Still, the shame and stigma makes it less common for boys to report abuse and seek help than girls, studies show.
“Men tend to come into treatment much later in life,” said Gartner. “Usually they are in their 30s, 40s or 50s — occasionally in their 70s — never having spoken about this.”
Their reluctance to talk about abuse is partly to blame for the perception that sexual abuse of boys is rare, Gartner said.
Research shows that about one in six boys are sexually abused before they are 16 years old, according to Hopper, a founding board member of the nonprofit organization OneInSix, which aims to help men deal with abuse they experienced as children.
The number for girls is one in four. The statistics do not include verbal harassment or other forms of non-physical sexual abuse, such as forcing a child to watch a sexual act.
Reports of sexual abuse by boys are still more likely to be dismissed, researchers say, which can intensify the victim’s pain and difficulty later in life.
“Boys who are sexually abused are mostly disbelieved, or it is minimized,” said Gartner. “They’re told, ‘just get over it’.”
“They learn that nobody’s safe,” said Hopper. “That’s really devastating. … that people who were supposed to protect me are not going to help me, they are blaming me!”
That perception by a child can lead to a wide array of problems as they grow older, including depression, anxiety, emotional numbing, substance abuse, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.
PTSD in high gear
Robert Brown, 51, who is now open about his story, was repeatedly sexually assaulted over the course of seven years when he was a child. He says the perpetrators were older boys who were favored because they were top athletes in his small New Hampshire town, while his plight was ignored by adults.
Brown did not acknowledge the problem to anyone until four years ago, when he was blindsided by a severe bout of post-traumatic stress.
Now he is a child protection activist, and shares his story on the MaleSurvivor.org forum, many of whom keep their abuse secret.
“In my lifetime and in my time with all other survivors that I know, the Penn State case is the most earth-shattering one for us to face,” Brown said in an interview.
“Probably because of the authority abused and the trust abused by the sports program and by Jerry Sandusky. It gets worse when we see that it’s underprivileged kids being so badly abused as if they are throwaway people,” he added.
“We identify very, very strongly with these boys. And we identify with the poor handling of this. To think there are 15-year-old cases that have never been dealt with,” Brown said. “It kicks off the (post-traumatic stress) into high gear — nightmares, flashbacks, extreme depression. It’s been some of the worst few days of my life emotionally.”
Gartner said that while the Penn State case has clearly caused pain and anguish for men struggling with the aftermath of abuse, it does demonstrate that perceptions have changed since the 1980s, when he started treating sexually abused men.
“Before the (Catholic) church scandal, even in professional meetings, people rolled their eyes, feeling that (sexual abuse of boys) happened rarely,” said Gartner. “Now, nobody seems to be saying it doesn’t happen. It does give people courage to come forward and disclose and get help, and that’s positive.”
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Penn State Tradegy by Erin Merryn
By now we all have heard about Penn State. All you need to do is turn on the television and whether you are watching the news or sports they are talking about it.
Jerry Sandusky doesn’t have many free days left before he is locked away for the rest of his life. He is a perfect example of why we need Erin’s Law in every state. Adults in charge witnessed children being molested by assistant coach Jerry Sandusky and while they reported it they did not take it to the police which they should have reported immediately when they saw it happen. No ifs, ands, buts, about it. They witnessed a horrific act take place or were told about these horrific acts being done to children and they turned a blind eye.
The Board of Trustees did exactly what needed to be done and that was firing the President of the University and head coach Joe Paterno. Joe started off doing the right thing by taking it to the President but when the President did not go to police with the matter this is when it was Joe Paterno’s moral duty to report it to police. Instead more children’s innocence would be stolen all in the sake of protecting the Universities reputation. A school’s image is more important in the mind of a University President then innocent children who fell into the hands of a very dangerous sick individual who used his authority to groom and rape children. Reports have said Sandusky gave the children he abused many gifts. Often sexual predators use gifts as a way to silence children on top of threats. Several adults over a fifteen year time period were aware of Jerry Sandusky’s actions yet Jerry continued to be around children and abusing several more.
If these children had learned in school the same way they are educated on tornado drills, bus drills, fire drills, DARE, Stranger Danger, Internet Safety, Bully Intervention, etc. on safe touch, unsafe touch, safe secrets, unsafe secrets, how to get away and tell today then these children would have had the courage to speak up and keep telling an adult until someone put an end to their horror. Instead they were never educated because we fail to educate kids on sexual abuse which is why I went after Erin’s law. The law that would have empowered these children with the power to use their voice and tell someone. So many more children could have been saved from the hands of Jerry Sandusky had they been educated. Parents would have been educated through Erin’s law on what to talk about with their kids and the warning signs to look for in a child that has been abused. One parent whose child was abused spoke openly without her identity being revealed and she shared how her son’s behavior changed, he began acting out, showed lots of anger, and did not want to be around Sandusky. She went to the school guidance counselor about it and the guidance counselor brushed it off saying it is a phase he is going through. Had this mother been educated on the biggest silent epidemic in this world, that being sexual abuse of children, then she would have known to talk to her son and her son would have known to talk and not keep these secrets.
I would advise any parent never to let your kids stay the night with their coach. Invites to overnights by a coach, youth group leader, etc. is a red flag right there. That should be a strict boundary in every household. I don’t care how well you think you know the person. Is the risk really worth it knowing your child could fall hands to a predator you never imagined would do such a thing. It is time for the world to take off their blinders and wake up. What has happened at Penn State as I have been saying for years is happening in our own backyards. Just take a look in your own community. These sex offenders live in your communities and you don’t even know it because many have not been caught. Not until we educate children through Erin’s Law in schools will more children break their silence. My law will prevent what happened at Penn State from ever happening again because children won’t spend years in silence because they will be educated to know this is wrong and not to keep it a secret. Children will be turning these sexual predators in the first time it happens because they will be getting the other end of the message. The first message is to stay silent, this is our secret, don’t tell anyone, I will hurt you, your family, no one will believe you, etc. The message that is missing throughout society is the educational piece. Don’t keep this a secret, tell someone, we will believe you, keep telling until someone takes action, who are safe people in your life you can tell if this happened to you, etc.” Sexual predators don’t just take children’s innocence they take their voice when they are being abused. We have to empower children to use their voice and not fall into the trap of silence.
Penn State needs to use what happened in their community and take action against this silent epidemic. They now have the reputation that won’t be going away. This scandal will be one talked about decades from now so they now have the power to make change happen in society. Addressing the silence around sexual abuse and demanding change. Being a voice for the 39 million survivors that exist in America alone. Urging their lawmakers and Governor to pass Erin’s Law in their state.
I turned the painful events of sexual abuse and rape in my childhood into putting a face and voice on this silent epidemic in my two books Stolen Innocence and Living For Today, passing Erin’s Law in Illinois and Missouri and eventually will get it passed in all 50 states, and flying the country speaking before thousands of people the past 7 1/2 years to shatter the silence, stigma, and shame around sexual abuse. The same way I turned the tragic events in my life into triumph the same is possible for the reputation of Penn State. They can do something positive about this unlike the riots that broke out this week. They can raise awareness and become a campus that is a face and voice on child sexual abuse for educational institutes around this country and world.
With an estimated 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America 3 million of those are children right now living in our country. That 3 million could fill 46 national football stadiums. Imagine that for a moment 46 national football stadiums of children that have been sexually abused. Joe Paterno was Penn State head football coach for 46 years. For every year he was head coach the entire football stadium could be the 3 million children in America who were sexually abused. These children are real and the life long challenges they face because of sexual abuse can be life altering. Shame and pain that you could never imagine if you have never been abused. These children often grow up to be adults many carrying their silence into adulthood because the shame is too great. Because of the silence around sexual abuse they often feel so alone in this world. Alone in a world where a past comes back to haunt them in nightmares and flashbacks. Pulling them right back into reliving the trauma they suffered. Many survivors of sexual abuse as children will spend years in therapy trying to come to terms with what happened and learn how to go on living a life and not be defined by this.
I was interviewed by a Penn State writer for the college paper today for a story that will run in the next day or two. As I tried to explain to her that I wanted her to get across to her study body is the fact that this isn’t about college football. We are talking about innocent children who were raped at the hands of a very sick individual who preyed on them while they were doing something they loved, playing football. I would not be surprised if several of these children turned away from ever playing football again after what happened because of the painful reminder it brings back. I spoke back in April at a child abuse conference in Hershey, Pennsylvania not very far at all from Penn State. I had just come from speaking the day before at a New Jersey child abuse conference and drove two hours into Pennsylvania in my rental car. I was driving into a town that was known for being chocolate capital of the country. The light posts in the downtown were Hershey kisses, they have chocolate businesses every where and the biggest attraction is chocolate world where children go for school field trips and parents take kids. If you like chocolate you were in the right town and you would think it would be hard to pass through this town without stopping for chocolate. Well as I explained in my speech I don’t eat chocolate. I actually hate it. I won’t eat chocolate cake, brownies, frosting, ice cream, etc. How is it possible to hate chocolate? Well if you have read my books I explain clearly in them why I don’t eat chocolate you see I use to love chocolate as a kid. It took one night celebrating my grandfather’s birthday with all my other relatives in 1998 for me to find myself locked in a dark bedroom with a cousin on top of me, molesting me, begging him to let me go, hearing the sounds of happy birthday being sung downstairs to my grandfather, and eventually being told by my cousin to go get cake with him. I sat at a table in the kitchen in silence with a chocolate piece on cake and my cousin taking a seat right across from me with his piece of cake and just smiling at me with that grin I will never be able to erase from my mind. I felt my stomach turn and with the rich taste of chocolate in my mouth and I just wanted to throw up. He often gave me something called a Star Crunch after abusing me at his house. Star Crunch was chocolate coated with caramel and rice crispy. Anytime I put any form of chocolate in my mouth it became triggering and the rich taste of it would immediately bring me back to memories of abuse. I have tested myself and have learned the only way chocolate doesn’t do that to me is chocolate with peanut butter in it. Here is one example how someone even like myself that is so outspoken on sexual abuse can also continue to be affected by actions of someone who abused me.
Penn State is a national tragedy and many lives have been hurt. It is time to raise up and tackle this issue that needs to be addressed in every state, educated in every school, every home, and survivors need to know they have nothing to be ashamed of. I have no doubt that more boys will come forward and that number of 8 will get higher. If you know someone or are someone that has been abused and never told anyone or did tell someone and nothing was done then tell someone today. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you could be helping others come forward and find their voice. You find a new sense of peace finding your voice.
God Bless the survivors of sexual abuse at the hands of Jerry Sandusky. Justice will come I promise!
PENN STATE be an example for others, start to educate, raise awareness, go after Erin’s Law. The country is watching. Make us proud.
About Erin Merryn
Erin Merryn is the author of Stolen Innocence and Living for Today, memoirs about incest and rape. She graduated in May 2009 with a Master’s degree in Social Work from Aurora University. A leading participant in Take Back the Night, her goal is to raise awareness of abuse in order to end the stigma and silence. Since 2004 she has been traveling across America giving inspirational and motivational speeches at national conferences, community events, Children’s Advocacy Centers, colleges, and high schools. She has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America and Montel Williams. Her writings have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, Daily Herald, and Teen Voices, among others. Erin spends her time between the suburbs of Chicago and Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Visit Erin at www.erinmerryn.net.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Grand Jury Report on Penn State Child Sexual Abuse/Rape Investigation
A grand jury is a type of jury that determines whether a criminal indictment will issue. A grand jury is so named because it has a greater number of jurors than a trial jury.
The Grand Jury Report below is extremely graphic and detailed accounts from victims and witnesses. The release of this documentation was due to a computer glinch according to the PA’s governor. However, legal documentation from investigations is vitally important for the public to clearly understand and gain knowledge of testimony leading to alledged crimes committed and arrests.
Teens Using Vodka-soaked Tampons To Get Drunk!!!!…..
PARENT ALERT!
Teenagers have found a new way of getting drunk by inserting vodka-soaked tampons into their vaginas. And it’s not just girls; boys are inserting the alcohol-drenched feminine hygiene products in their rectums.
The disturbing trend, first noted by the Oxford Journals in 1999, said the teens experience “rapid onset of effects, lower doses of alcohol are required for intoxication, and the reduced likelihood of recent alcohol consumption being being detected on the breath,” all contributed to the popularity of this method of abusing alcohol.
The problem in local high schools and said the growing number of incidents related to students immersing tampons in vodka has school officials concerned for student safety.
This is not isolated to any school, any city, any financial area. This is everywhere. There’s been documented cases of people going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning just from utilizing it that way.
It was definitely not just girls using the tampons to get drunk; rectal beer bongs is another bizarre trend created under the same concept and is becoming as popular as beer bongs used at college drinking bashes. It is called “butt chugging.”
Students are inventing new ways to consume alcohol that is less detectable by their parents and teachers. He suggests parents become more involved in their children’s lives to combat these problems of alcohol use among teenagers.
Students would obtain a “quicker high” and the effects are “more intense” then through oral consumption. It’s problematic because you don’t really know how much you’re going to absorb.
Vodka-soaked tampons, which contain about a shot of alcohol, can cause “mucosal irritation to the vagina” or rectum. The trend could have life-threatening consequences. If the person does pass out or lose consciousness, health care professionals won’t necessarily know that they have to look in those areas and that may delay treatment.
The myth persists among teenagers that if they use alcohol-soaked tampons they would “pass a breathalyser test because they didn’t actually drink the booze.” But this is untrue. A breathalyser checks what’s in your blood-stream not the amount of booze on your breath and wouldn’t change the blood alcohol content determined by the test.
So, parents….you must get involved in our children’s life no matter what age. Stop trying to be a friend but rather a “parent” – it’s your job and responsibility to know what is happening in your daughter and/or son’s life. Becoming educated is the first step but then you must follow-up and through with your responsibility. This is serious and deadly.
When I stumpled upon this article and kept reading and as stated medical journals made this annoucement back in 1999; well, I was even shocked. I can imagine you are as well. Who would have “thunk”? *Shaking my head. Damn kids will try/do anything being stupid.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Penn State Incident Should Empower All Adults To Better Protect Children
As individuals and communities, we are all impacted by the horrible allegations of child sexual abuse by a former assistant football coach at Penn Sate. These reports leave us wondering how such atrocities could happen when so many well-minded adults were around –– yet none took the necessary action steps to end the abuse and the offender’s access to children. Further, parents are left wondering how they can best protect their children.
Shock, disbelief and outrage are often the first reactions to such news. However, this incident can serve as a teachable moment to empower adults to recognize the signs, have the courage to react responsibly and, ultimately, prevent child sexual abuse before it happens in the first place.
The accused did not wear a trench coat and lure a child into a dark alley. Rather, he was a talented man who was revered by the public as a coach and trusted mentor. He allegedly used that trust to obtain access to children. Tragically, this scenario plays out all around us every day. Hundreds of thousands of children are sexually violated by adults every year, and shockingly, more than 90% of the time, the child is abused by someone the family knows and trusts.
At Darkness to Light, we have spent the last decade educating adults — those who are in a position to protect children — how to prevent abuse and recognize warning signs so communities can react responsibly and with confidence.
Penn State could have benefited from having its staff trained so that witnesses would come forward. Having policies and procedures in place, and staff empowered to hold others accountable to the policies, would have made all the difference in the lives of the children involved and the reputation of the institution.
There are more than 42 million adults in America who were sexually abused as children. Research shows that between eight to 20 percent of our children are abused every year. The immediate impact to a child is devastating and the long-term impact costs society more than $35 billion annually. Child sexual abuse is linked to personal dysfunction, mental health issues, teen pregnancy, violent crime, substance abuse, and sex trafficking – among other issues.
Now is the time to finally shine a spotlight on the much avoided subject of child sexual abuse. We must talk to our kids and our communities about prevention. Public dialogue about child sexual abuse helps shape better societal beliefs and responsible actions. The more we can talk openly about child sexual abuse signs or perpetrator patterns, the better we are able to recognize behavioral red flags and have the courage to take action.
We should expect our youth-serving organizations to have policies that govern how adults may interact with youth. Further, these organizations must offer regular trainings, so that no one is left wondering what their legal or moral obligation is when discovering that a child has been sexually abused. The youth-serving organizations should hold staff and volunteers accountable, while our communities, parents and students, in turn, should hold the organizations accountable.
We encourage the public to continue the dialogue that has been started and find hope in the fact that there are things we all can do to reduce the risks in our own homes and organizations. Get involved in your local school, church, youth service organization, youth camp or sports league to ensure that prevention is being addressed and comprehensive policies and training are in place to identify potential problems.
If you believe that your child has been victimized in any way please get immediate help through your local child advocacy center. In addition, Darkness to Light is here as a resource to any parent or organization who wants to get involved in making their community a safer place for children.
Via d2l.org
Anny is a Steward’s of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light’s certification programs.
Take care and stay safe.
About Anny
Anny received her PDR (Personal Defense Readiness) Instructor Certification in 2008.
Anny is also a Steward's of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light's certification programs.
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anny@annyjacoby.com
